FinallyMrsSloan
VIP April 2015

Has anyone else wanted to call off the wedding and just elope?

FinallyMrsSloan, on November 13, 2014 at 10:50 AM

Posted in Planning 38

I know it's a common thing when you get overwhelmed with the planning. Up until this point everything has been easy. Right off the bat we had our venue, caterer, and photographer. Now I have the dress and the officiant. Trying to find a DJ has just made want to give up on planning this wedding....

I know it's a common thing when you get overwhelmed with the planning. Up until this point everything has been easy. Right off the bat we had our venue, caterer, and photographer. Now I have the dress and the officiant. Trying to find a DJ has just made want to give up on planning this wedding. Talking things over with FH and we just have different ideas of what we want. Most DJs I have looked at are for 4-5 hours. If we get married at 4 that means the wedding is over by 8. Sounds like a very boring party to me. Not to mention FH has cut out alcohol. Most of his family doesn't drink and I will have very little family at the wedding and they won't drink either. So we would be buying drinks for the bridal party. He says he wants me to have the wedding I have always wanted but I feel like I am going to let a lot of people down. When his sis got married she went all out. I know people will compare the 2. At the end of the day we will be married and that's the most important thing right?

38 Comments

  • Ms. A
    Devoted April 2015
    Ms. A ·
    • Flag

    Raises both hands in the air!!!!

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Welcome to my world. I get, "OMG THEY ARE ALL MAKING ME CRAZY CAN WE GET MARRIED NEXT WEEK?" calls every single day.

    • Reply
  • Jess
    Master May 2015
    Jess ·
    • Flag

    Daily.

    • Reply
  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    The reception generally lasts 4 -5 hours, not the whole wedding (unless that's the way you want it). Listen, you're in the homestretch. You've taken care of the big stuff. As far as the DJ goes, it sounds like the two of you are having a problem agreeing on what type of music or atmosphere you want. Is there any room to meet in the middle -- a compromise? There are lots of good DJs. When you meet with them, ask how long they've been in business, how many weddings do they do in a year -- that kind of thing. Many of them will even post videos on their websites of themselves working other weddings. That will give you a good idea of a Djs ability to keep the party going.

    As far as the alcohol goes, are you okay with FH's decision to cut it? Would you enjoy a cocktail or a glass of wine at your wedding? If so, tell him. Lastly, your wedding will be wonderful because it's your wedding. I've been to all kinds of weddings -- big and small. They are each unique and as long as people aren't hungry and can hear themselves think (it's a pet peeve of mine when the music is so painfully loud that conversation is impossible and the table is vibrating), they will enjoy themselves. You aren't Sally. You're you. No more comparisons -- they're not fair to you.

    • Reply
  • Jess
    Savvy June 2015
    Jess ·
    • Flag

    Yeah, i'm getting pretty close to throwing in the towel and running away with FH! dealing with everyone else's opinions gets really tiring, really quickly.

    if a wedding is what you want, you'll find a way to make it work, and it will be beautiful and unique, just like you and your man! Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • OG Ruth
    Master October 2015
    OG Ruth ·
    • Flag

    I originally wanted to elope but FH wanted to have an actual wedding.

    I was ready to call the whole thing off last month because we got into a huge blow out over his sister & my shower (long story).

    • Reply
  • bridalfever
    Super June 2015
    bridalfever ·
    • Flag

    I'm so glad you posted this- I've been feeling this way ever since we decided not to have the big backyard wedding. It's the worst. Trying to find a venue now that we like, and there are about 7 other weddings right around the time we had wanted to have ours which is prompting us to change the date as well. Blah!

    • Reply
  • edkeller33
    Devoted September 2015
    edkeller33 ·
    • Flag

    Hi,

    We've thought about it because weddings are expensive. We are having our reception with a DJ from 2-6pm. We also aren't having alcohol. My advice--focus on what's important to you as a couple. DON'T compare yourself to ANYONE else's wedding. Wedding's are meant to be personal and represent the couple. You guys should do what makes you happy/comfortable.

    • Reply
  • Maureen Thomson
    Maureen Thomson ·
    • Flag

    I don't think you're alone. I've been officiating weddings since 2002 and over the past 3 years, I've seen a huge increase in elopements--both from couples who planned to elope all along and from those who bailed on planning their big wedding halfway (or further!) through the process.

    I find it interesting, reading this post and talking to our couples, how often it's the guy who actually wants the big wedding. Watching how couples' desires change with time is always fascinating.

    Bottom line is that you have to do what works for you.

    This gives me an idea. I'm writing a blog post on "things people say that make couples want to elope." If you have any gems, then send 'em to me! (*******@**********.***)

    • Reply
  • Angela
    Dedicated May 2015
    Angela ·
    • Flag

    You preaching to the choir-I even put my FH out of my wedding in a joking way-We have a schedule we talk about the wedding on Tuesday Thursday and Saturday. This way we are not consumed by the wedding.

    • Reply
  • KTizzle
    Master June 2015
    KTizzle ·
    • Flag

    We didn't quite do that, but we did scale it down drastically. We went from the whole shebang(sp?) and 180 people in a church and full-on reception hall, etc. down to a private ceremony on a mountain overlooking the city with a casual BBQ reception @ a park pavilion a month after the ceremony. There is still SOME stress involved, but I couldn't be more relieved!! We initially made the change because of finances. We want to buy a home. If we went ahead with the plans for the big wedding, we were going to DRAIN out entire savings and not even get a honeymoon out of it. Then we'd be starting over. Boo. We did lose out on a $500 deposit for the DJ, but oh well.

    • Reply
  • allysia
    Master April 2016
    allysia ·
    • Flag

    Eloping was our original plan. We wanted to take a trip to Bali and get married just the two of us in this beautiful place, we are both introverts. Then a close friend of my moms daughter got eloped and my mom was saying how devastated she would be if she couldn't be there for my big day and me being an only child I kind of felt too guilty to go through with it. I'm happy with how my wedding will be now and I don't have any regrets and maybe 10 years from now we can still take our bali trip and renew our vows.

    • Reply
  • FinallyMrsW
    VIP October 2014
    FinallyMrsW ·
    • Flag

    @shelby I agreeSmiley smile

    • Reply
  • FinallyMrsSloan
    VIP April 2015
    FinallyMrsSloan ·
    • Flag

    Y'all have made me feel so much better! I knew I wasn't the only one, but I had no idea there were this many!

    • Reply
  • J + K
    Devoted June 2015
    J + K ·
    • Flag

    Every. Single. Day. ... but then I always seem to realize I like being alive and not in fear of death by family.

    • Reply
  • E
    Master July 2015
    Emma ·
    • Flag

    FMS, if you ever need to talk, you have my insta and we can exchange info. I know it gets rough, but it'll all work out!

    • Reply
  • FinallyMrsW
    VIP October 2014
    FinallyMrsW ·
    • Flag

    Enjoy a night with your man with no wedding planningSmiley smile Everything will turn out perfectly!

    • Reply
  • FinallyMrsSloan
    VIP April 2015
    FinallyMrsSloan ·
    • Flag

    Thank you Emma and FMW! I will keep y'all in mind when I need a moment to vent!

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics