Has anyone else been fighting more ?

You should probably try to talk to him about this when he’s not mad about something. It could be just stress from spending all that money on the wedding, or it could be something more serious like cold feet. There’s always the option of couples therapy, but I would try talking to him first. Don’t get upset with him if you disagree with what is the cause of his anger, just listen to him and talk things out. Maybe he feels everything is all about the wedding recently. You could try having a date night with him and completely avoid any conversation wedding related. I hope you’re able to work this out soon!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I have taken a break from planning the last few months to give him a "break" from all the wedding talk and stuff. He seemed to be happier and there has been less confrontation. My fear is with planning starting up again soon we can fall back into the tension and fighting.

I had to give my FH a break too. Life is very overwhelming at the moment. But we were arguing nonstop for the past couple of weeks. But I think somethings can get overwhelming at times. I did the same thing you did by having a wedding so far away in the future just in case of second thoughts or etc. But it will get better.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I hope things get better for you and your FH too.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! It will. We neen dating for 8 years and knowing each other for 10 years. Plus I work overnights so I barely see him during the evening and at night and he works during the day plus we live in 2 seperate households. We communicate but limited the time we spend with each other because it can be overbearing with everyday stress from life. Just preparing us for the future because we will be together for the rest of our lives once we say I do.

View Quoted Comment We have a similar dynamic. He works the night shift and I work during the day. We have been living together for 3 years and dating for almost 5 years. Its definitely difficult being on different schedules when you are trying to plan and need the other persons input or opinion on things because you have to cram everything into such a small time everyday. He will be changing careers before our wedding so I am looking forward to being on the same wave length.

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Honey it will be okay!! Trust me I understand!! Good Luck with all the changes!!! Everything will take one step at a time!!!

View Quoted Comment I hope so too! Wishing you all the best as well 😁

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Thank you hun! Good Luck!

Yes my fiancé and I began arguing more than usual after he asked me to marry him. We are on a very tight budget of 5k (less if possible), my dad has offered to pay for everything excluding his tux and the rings. I believe it made my FH feel a little powerless, which is understandable but we have moved twice in the past 6 months and it really hurt his wallet. He is just barely starting to save up again after spending thousands on furniture, essentials, deposits, rent, bills etc,. He feels at ease with it now since my dad has some jobs lined up and it won’t hurt his wallet. When we do argue now is has been ending with him asking me if I have cold feet/ or me asking him if he’s sure he wants to do this. We both reassure one another but it still hurts in the process to be asked that, it’s not just him it’s me to. The stress of planning on a tight budget and feeling a little powerless and dependent on someone else can be overwhelming on both of us, so we lash out sometimes. But that isn’t what matters, we always end up telling each other how we really feel in the end and look towards a happy future together.

We've been fighting more. Money is tight and weddings are expensive. We normally don't fight about stuff like this though. Actually we didn't really fight until his parents moved in with us and now things are more stressful. I have anxiety but it's never been this bad.
Hopefully the two of you can sit down and talk it and work something out. Maybe only talk about the wedding on certain nights or make a date night that's specifically for talking about the wedding

View Quoted Comment That's definitely a hard place to be in for your FH. Any help from family makes such a difference. My father is covering our venue and my fiancé has mixed feelings about it as well. He is more scared that what if my father decides at the last minute to not cover his portion. My father is very hot headed and can be difficult to deal with so I think it's always in the back of his head like what if i get stuck with that big bill on top of what we are paying for. I have tried talking to him about it on different occasions and when we talk i reassure him that things will be okay. But he seems to be holding his stress in then exploding. So i end up doing damage control. It's just very sad fighting so much during what's supposed to be such a happy time.

View Quoted Comment I'm sorry your stressed out too! I feel like a lot of people don't talk about just how truly stressful this time is. Its definitely not all sunshine and rainbows. I'm sure having the addition of his parents just adds two more opinions and stress in an already super stressful situation. Hopefully it will not be a long stay and you two can return to just the two of you sooner than later.
I will definitely try a date night to bring things up and keep wedding talk maybe on just a need to basis. I hope things get better for you as well!

I've been going through this. Granted we have a lot of outside factors as well (being stuck in a radius because my sons father, school, family emergencies and so on and so forth). Ours didn't start till recently its just a matter of everything piling up so close to the end (26 days for us). I really recommend talking out how you feel but also remembering its not all abut the wedding. take time to focus on you guys. Remember to have dates when you can and just the little things are important. Its definitely not fun and I am sorry you are facing this so far out from your wedding :/ will make for a long year Hugs!

I'm sorry this is going on. Wedding planning can definitely be stressful and the finances that go into this even can trigger some hurtful responses. Maybe he wants to give you the world and feels like he is disappointing you when the finances get a bit strain. How about you make a date or wedding meeting for both of you guys and discuss what is going on. Best of luck sweetie, hope you guys are able to get to a happy place and have a wonderful wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this or feeling this way. Congrats on being so close to the big day! Trying to find a balance is really hard but I am going to try and come up with some ideas to get our minds off wedding stuff and enjoy just being engaged. I hope this last stretch your in goes by quickly so you both can enjoy the day of your dreams 🖤.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much. Yes I think its a combo of stressing out financially and trying to have they day of our dreams. He makes more than i do so he is covering more of the expenses so I feel bad that he may think its all on his shoulders. Hopefully there is a way to ease his stress and get back to being happy and enjoying this special time.

View Quoted Comment I understand. I’m sorry things are the way they are, it’s most definitely supposed to be a beautiful and happy time. I tell FH that a lot as well as my family members that are being inconsistent with helping me plan and being unsupportive of my decisions and wants. However, in the end we all know the truth even when we go to bed angry and stressed out. One tip I have is to try not to go to bed mad at one another, that makes things worse for me and FH I don’t sleep well and wake up still angry and end up sleeping way in. Meanwhile he goes to work being rude to his employees and ignoring the world. When we resolve it before bed we wake up apologizing to one another and having a better day. When we argue if I can help it I maintain a low soft unthreatening voice and when he yells or says hurtful things I calmly say “Listen to yourself, please.” “Listen to me and listen to you, do you hear the difference?” He automatically realizes how he’s acting and cools down. Wedding planning is stressful also because it’s such a big commitment, and no matter how much you love someone sometimes there’s still some fear they will hurt you in the end, so it can be a little scary. It was for me at first. But I’m learning to trust fully and know the risks, go with it anyways. Otherwise I’d never get married. I love him with all my heart, even when he makes me want to spend the night with my parents.

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Thanks girl! Yeah the balance is so important. FH and I really didn't have any issues until the last few months. All the deadlines were coming up. I really recommend making date night at least twice a month a priority if you can. Its a good time to remember why you are going through all this stress without having to talk about anything wedding related. Also I found it helped a lot with me taking control of everything financial related for the wedding and just being upfront hey this is how much we owe and where we owe it, this is how many months we have to pay it off and that means we need to pay this much each month. Then collecting that much each month (for us rent comes out of his checking account and normally I would give him cash for my portion so I just deducted each month what I needed from this amount and gave him the difference) and dispersing it where its needed and when its needed.

View Quoted Comment Yess. I completely feel the same way. Going to bed angry is the absolute worst. I have been losing so much sleep stressing about everything. He's definitely more passive about things and keeps them in until he explodes. So no matter how many times I say are you okay? what's stressing you out? He will tell me nothing 🙄. I feel like a lot of men are like that unfortunately. Marriage is such a big commitment and i agree the big picture of it can be overwhelming and scary at times. But me and my FH have been through way more trying times and we've come out stronger for it. So in hindsight this stress should be minimal in comparison but maybe because its so drawn out (because of the long engagement) it feels more daunting to him.