Gyno vists and fears.. maybe TMI just need to get this off my chest

I know how you feel, trust me I was in that place at some point but I had to remind myself that the gyno is just to help me not to hurt me, I too have a history of sexual abuse, I thought the same before my first visit but it went very smoothly and did not bring back any trauma.

Yes, they may ask why you haven't been, you tell them the truth, they won't force you to go into details about anything, it's all up to you. I wish you all the best

Im not a victim but on the gyno part its really not that bad a little uncomfortable but not painful and drs are always very understanding so if you are getting uncomfortable talking or with the psycial part let them know and they will slow down. I would highly doubt that they ask why you havent been before that would seem very unprofessional to me, they will probably say something more along the lines of Im glad you are taking this step its very important for your well being. try not to stress and have you questions ready (on a note card) and know your family history

Another survivor of sexual abuse here. Any competent gyno will not pry further if you say that you have been a victim of sexual abuse. However, you may also want to contact your local rape crisis center if you are particularly concerned. They may have gynecologists they can refer you to that are particularly experienced with survivors of sexual trauma.

I use to volunteer with the RCS here so i know them its a little embarrassing to say yea i helped people get over it but umm still cant walk into a dr office.

Trust me, Shannon, you won't be the only one!

Go to a female doctor, and express your concerns. While it is recommended in your teens, if you aren't sexually active, it isn't medically neccessary to visit a gyno.

I'd tell them you had trauma in the past, and are very nervous about the appt. Your doctor should be understanding, and just ask her to explain everything before and as she is doing it. It's actually really quick...

I didnt become well willing sexual active till i was 22.

I am going to have to have my FH with me to make the call he is so great about the times i still freak out... i miss my best friend she lives so far away now i could really use her now.

I'm not sure how it is in your state, but here in CA even if you have a male doctor, there will be a female nurse in the room during the exam. If there's someone who could go with you, that's great too, but you won't have to worry about feeling unsafe. Chances are, he/she won't even ask why you haven't been before. If they do, you might be surprised how helpful/comforting/supporting a gyno will be about your past.

Plus, if it helps, just think about all the CRAZY stuff a gyno sees, and you'll be laughing instead of nervous ;-)

Take someone you trust with you. My mom actually went with me the first time, and stood by my head and looked at me, and held my hand. She didn't have to see anything private, but she was there to support me.

I would ask for a female doctor. Tell them why you are scared about going, they will understand. No one will make you feel bad about not going earlier either. They should explain exactly what they are doing and why so help you calm your fears. Most of the exam is not the uncomfortable part.

I was nervous my first time going to the gyno, but a tip of advice the gyno gave me, wiggle your toes. For some reason it works and takes your mind off of the uncomfortable situation. I would also explain about your past, they truly are understanding. I acually had a male doctor for when I was pregnant and it wasn't any less akward than having a female doctor. My fh wasn't too happy, but he got over it, he actually delivered me and my sister when we were born and also when we had our babies. I actually like my gyno more than my regular doc. Weird, but they really care about you.

Oh and they always have a nurse present, male or female doctor.

It is also fast, the examination.

A funny story I read in a magazine before: A woman had a gyno appointment, she sprayed female spray down there before she left the house. The doctor is examining her and says: "You like to take a walk on the wild side, huh?" Apparently the woman sprayed hot pink hair spray!

Would it help to know how a gyno appointment works? Here's a pretty typical one:

Generally speaking, you will wear a paper robe and nothing else. You will lie down on a table with your feet in a pair of metal stirrups (wear socks that day, stirrups can be COLD). The doctor will examine your breasts (it does NOT feel sexual) to check for lumps, and ask if you check your own breasts regularly.

The doctor will then use a device called a speculum to pry open your vagina. A spec looks like a pair of salad tongs. Ask for the smallest one they have, and make sure he runs it under warm water first. Many speculums are made from metal and can be cold.

The doctor will take a look around to make sure nothing is out of the ordinary, and then give you a Pap smear. That can be really weird...he basically has to scrape a few cells out of your body. It doesn't hurt, but it is a strange sensation. Afterwards you may have a little bit of spotting, so take a pantiliner.

My gyno (I have a boy gyno) did ask a lot of questions about sexual abuse, rape, domestic abuse, monogamy, pregnancies/abortions, etc as part of the consultation prior to the exam, but he didn't pry or make me feel awkward. The more info you can give, the better your doctor can do his job.

If you really feel awkward, you can always ask a girlfriend to go to your appointment with you.

And if you're not familiar with the female anatomy, that will contribute to your feelings of dread. THis is going to sound really hippie-crunchy, but grab a hand mirror and take a look around down there...pubis mons, labia majora, etc. Then you'll be able to follow along with what your doctor is telling you.

And one last thing - the gyno, male or female, is not turned on by the appointment at all. It does not feel sexual in any way. One of my MD friends said his gyno rotation was the least sexy thing he's ever done.

I have a wonderful doctor that I adore (she's going to be a BM in my wedding as we have become friends over the 15 years I've been going there) so it's a little easier for me but I still pick a spot on the ceiling and concentrate on breathing calmly during the exam.

I think the most important thing is choose a woman doctor as I think that will make you feel more comfortable and make sure you have an opportunity to speak with the doctor while you have your clothes on before the actual exam so you can get to know them a little and they know your situation. You really don't want to "meet" the doctor with your history while wearing a paper gown.

I myself went through the same thing when I was younger. I also feared the Gyno big time. You have nothing to worry about. If your Gyno asks why you have not been to one before, just simply tell him "I would rather not say". A doctor cannot force information out of you unless it is vital to your health and that question, is not. You can ask any questions you want to your Gyno and he/she will more than happily answer them. Also, as the exam is going, you will be told everything that is being done and why. It does not hurt, just a bit uncomfortable for like 30 seconds. You can get over this fear. Like I said..I went through the same thing when I was younger and yet I have kids. So do not fret

Not sure how comfortable you feel with taking fh along to the appointment, but when I had my first visit I took my signifigant other with me for support. He held my hand and cracked jokes with me during the exam. It helped to ease my mind and the dr. explained everything and was very patient. Let the doctor know that it's your first exam and that you have only been sexually active for 2 years.

One thing to remember make your visit far enough in advance from your wedding date. With most birth control your body needs a few weeks to adjust and you might have bleeding and/or spoting, you wouldn't want that on your wedding day. I think if you go with a female doctor it will make it much easier, that is what I did when I was younger and it helped me a lot.

Your gyno visit will be the best thing you can do for yourself and the future of your marriage. Think of it as this person SPECIALIZES in your personal woman needs. Make sure you get a female gyno seeing as you have had sexual abuse. They are usually gentle and understanding. Kinda like a "mom". It's not scary, it can be a little weird when they have to check your "va jay jay"....just something weird about that. But they are not their to hurt you or embarrass you. Don't let the voices in your head cause you to create assumptions that don't even exist. Females NEED to go to the gyno regularly because our "va jay jay" is the perfect breeding ground for alot of things (bacteria, cancers, etc.). Avoidance is not victory!!!! When you go you will smack yourself and say..man why did I put all that pressure on myself. It was a breeze!