Guilt

Do what YOU want. The odds of you pleasing everyone is slim and none, no matter what you choose to do.

Come to NJ! Come to Central Park!

We are having a DW (5-6 driving hours away for everyone) because we have to go out-of-state for the purposes of legality.

We invited immediate family and close friends - 40 total.

Because we were able to easily invite only those whom we absolutely wanted, we were able to splurge more on food, drinks, entertainment, etc to make our guests comfortable and provide a more enjoyable and memorable time than we could have if we had a local wedding with extended family and friends.

It's not selfish at all. Give them plenty of notice so those who wish can plan both time-wise and financially. And those that can't make it for either (or both) reasons can respectfully decline and that's understandable and ok too.

If a DW is what you want then go for it! My FH ruled out a DW early on in planning but after thinking long and hard we decided to change to a DW in Vegas. We made sure the immediate family members we wanted there could be there and that was enough for us! I don't find it selfish at all if that's what you want to do.

Our original guest list when we were having the wedding local was close to 100 and now that its a DW we have invited 25, just immediate family and our bridal party. Hope this helps!

To give you a slightly different point of view (I do agree with all those who've said don't feel guilty btw), our "at home" wedding is going to be out of town for all but FH's immediate family. And I don't mean out of town as in close, I mean out of town as in multiple states away. We live in such a connected world nowadays that travel is sometimes unavoidable even without it being a destination wedding. So no, I really don't think a destination wedding is selfish. If people can afford it they'll come and probably just look at it as a vacation, especially if you let them know well ahead of time, so I would say invite whoever you want. If you want to celebrate with everyone at home when you get back then do a back and married bbq or something like someone else said.

Congrats on your engagement. Don't feel guilty at all about what you and your fiancé want. Try to give people enough notice so they can save and ask for off but that's about the only thing you should consider I would def go to a destination wedding... It's like a vacation.

I think it sounds like you have a beautiful plan to invite your closest family members and you deserve the beautiful wedding you are dreaming about!!!

Have the destination wedding. Do what makes you happy. We said we are having a destination wedding and the people who want to be there (and can be there) will be there, its about you and your FH so do what makes you happy! And we have about 70 people coming!! Everyone is so excited and looking forward to the vacation.

Wow I feel so much better after reading all your posts ! I am having a DW in Key West Florida. Sent out save the date cards with a 12 month notice . Now it's 5 months away & my sister is making me feel guilty about the cost for them going there from California . I was starting to feel guilty & worry no one would come. But now I'm not worried. its our wedding & Key West is where we have special memories & always have wanted to get married there I will be happy if just the two of us marrying at sunset It is so nice to have a place to post my feelings