Guests who didn’t Rsvp...?

If they don't RSVP, you need to contact them to find out whether they're attending or not (after the RSVP date has passed). That way you don't end up with anyone who didn't RSVP showing up.

For anyone that didn't RSVP or respond to me when I asked I'm assuming they are coming. I'd rather err on the side of caution. Now that only works for me because we're doing buffet style and I'm making sure we have enough food for everyone plus randoms.
In the case where you are buying a plate for each individual, I would assume they aren't coming then send them a message saying you're sorry they won't be able to make it.

There is a list at the door for the reception. I guess they will have to head home. Was just talking to the future in laws that we need to call/text/email the stragglers. But FI side is known to show up just because even if they weren’t invited.

We are having a small destination wedding and I got definite yes and nos from everyone. I actually told the venue 20 adults instead of 19 because that was our package (no refunds for fewer so I wanted to get our money’s worth!) so I’d have enough if by some chance someone else showed up! Definitely follow up with those you don’t hear anything from. I just listened to an etiquette podcast where they suggested following up with everyone. (For a regular party, not a wedding.)

I remember watching that episode like twice. It made me cringe just to watch. Not b/c of the rudeness of the guest but the rudeness of the DJ. I would probably punch him in the face lol. Anyways, I plan on having the caterer provide food for 10 more than the final guest count and have extra seating available.

We had escort cards for each person who responded they were coming. If they didn't RSVP and we couldn't get a hold of them we assumed they weren't coming. We had a DOC that would have been able to work with the venue to get a meal and a seat for someone had we had anyone show up that we thought wasn't coming. Nobody showed up to our wedding who didn't RSVP, but I have been to a wedding that that did happen and they didn't have enough seats because of it.

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Me too - how passive aggressive of the bride and groom to do that. If I remember that episode correctly, an elderly woman got put out on the deck in the sun! How shaming and rude.

OP - to answer your questions, mine are in the past tense as we wed in October.

What are you guys doing for guests who don’t RSVP but show up anyway? We had this - they were welcome to stay, we had a buffet, no seating chart.

Are you accommodating them? Yes, of course

Asking them to leave? We would never do this.* (see below)

Do you think any of your guests are likely to show up even if they didn’t RSVP? No, but hubby has a nephew who is the epitome of self centered. We thought he would skip the ceremony then show up at the reception with three friends, fully expecting to be fed. Nope, turns out he blew the whole thing off. No RSVP, no text, no call, no nothing. In fact, we have been married for seven months and he had never acknowledged that I am married to his uncle, no card, no "liking" our wedding photo on FB, nothing.

*Had nephew shown up with three friends to eat, nephew would have been welcome to stay, friends would have been asked to leave.

I was also quite diligent in contacting people who were tardy with the RSVP's. Per nephew, his mom asked him directly if he was coming the Wednesday before, he shrugged and said "I dunno" when he had plane tickets out of town. We didn't miss him!

As others said, you need to follow up with those who haven’t RSVPd. If someone who was invited said no and then showed up, I’d do my best to accommodate them. Just because an invited guest may be inconsiderate, doesn’t mean the wedded couple should be. Now if someone showed up that wasn’t invited, that would be a different story. I’d deal with it on a case by case basis.

Don't people know that things get lost in the mail? There is a reason we get tracking numbers for packages! Don't assume that anyone you haven't heard back from is rude and didn't actually respond. Don't he surprised when the RSVP shows up three days after the wedding. Reach out to guests you haven't heard from, if need be let them know that if you haven't heard back by X date that you'll have to count them as a no. Easy, simple, no drama

I followed up with everyone who didn't RSVP. 4 RSVP's apparently got lost in the mail so it's worth following up for sure. We only had one person show up who didn't RSVP and wasn't even invited and it was my bridesmaids kid of all people. I didn't even notice because my DOC took care of the seating issue.

When the RSVP is due we will be contacting those who didn't send in their RSVP. FH and his parents will follow up with his side of the family and I will follow up on my side with my parents. I'm hoping their won't be that many.

I’ve had three RSVPs get lost in the mail, so it’s definitely a good thing to follow up! The thing I can’t stand are the people who probably didn’t send in an RSVP card and are impossible to contact to get a yes or no from. I have a short list of those, but at this point it is getting to the deadline and I kinda need to know whether or not they will attend. 😂

For the people who won’t contact me back, I’ll make place cards for them, but not include them in my final count to my venue. My venue preps extras of all the plated meals just in case, so I know there will be food for anyone who arrives unexpectedly. Only eight people like this on my list at the moment! Still hoping the contact me back.

We followed up with non-rsvp-ers. Found out 2 people never received their invites! A couple swear they did their online response but it never ended upon our side. Definitely contact all your unanswered!

First, I think if you don't have an rsvp you shouldn't make any assumptions. Get on the phone! Get an answer. It's something that when I see on a wedding show makes me crazy! With few exceptions it's a very young bride and I think her mom holds some blame for not handling it.
Second, I *may* set an empty table. It'll depend on a few other details but I think it's prudent. It not only ensures you have space for the last minute "It turns out we can come!" or uninvited plus one, it also can hold anyone who suddenly decides they are unhappy with their seating arrangement. Even if that decision happens mid-evening.

If they don’t RSVP and don’t respond when I contact them after the RSVP date, I probably won’t accommodate them. I might not tell them to leave, but they won’t have a seat at my reception.🤷🏻‍♀️

We are doing a DW so it's gonna be really odd if someone shows up without confirming lol

I'm currently in the process of following up with those that never sent in their RSVP. I have to speak with the venue to find out what they do in the circumstance of someone showing up who never RSVP'ed. I could count them as a yes..l.but at $114 pp, I'd rather not. I wouldn't shame anyone and make them sit outside. I'd accommodate them but it would certainly change our relationship from that point forward.

My wedding is this Saturday, and I have about 7 households that didn’t RSVP. I wanted to follow up with them but since they’re my Fmil guests she said not to follow up because they probably wouldn’t come. I should’ve kept pushing for her to follow up but I kind of gave in. So if anybody that didn’t rsvp shows up I will have my coordinator accommodate them and bring chairs in from the ceremony (ceremony will be outside the venue) and place them at a table.

I remember that episode. It seems to me though that in some cultures or circles people are known to show up even if not invited and I got the impression that was more of an issue with that wedding on the show. Regardless, it's the host's responsibility to follow-up with guests who don't RSVP and as others mentioned I wouldn't necessarily assume those people are being rude. Things do get lost in the mail, sometimes people honestly forget (happened to me after a major surgery and I felt awful, but I'm so glad my cousin called to ask and was nice about it!).

Well obviously I'll follow-up with everyone who doesn't RSVP. If people still show up when they've told me they weren't going to or if someone who wasn't invited showed up, it would be a difficult situation. I think it's easier with a buffet/no seating chart. I'm having a plated meal and assigned tables. I would never make anyone sit outside but they may have to sit at a table set up at the last minute and eat whatever the venue chooses to give them (as i am not ordering extra plates just in case).