Guests invited later

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I truly appreciate your kind words and positivity! All the people saying it's rude have really put a damper on my day! A lot of the people that aren't coming are close family members and people's plus 1s that they are now no longer bringing. There were people I wanted to invite but with my dad having 7 siblings and us having a small wedding some friends were put on the back burner. 😊 I really needed to read this thank you again !!!!

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I think friends are especially okay to add on at the end! Honestly, most of my friends already know they're on the long list, as my family is huge. My friends also aren't the type to be offended by something as minor as being B-listed in the world we're in, so could also be a know-your-crowd thing.

I totally understand your mindset behind this!

because if you have to pay for x amount of seats then why not try to fill it all right? logically it makes a lot of sense.

i also do understand PPs saying it's rude cause it does kinda make it feel as if those people were just optional and not as important.

but honestly if it was me i'd rather be invited later than not at all.

i honestly think B listing is ok especially if you're sure those people won't be offended cause i actually had B list people who weren't offended at all!

I know I’d be perfectly happy if a friend said “hey Uncle Jim and his three kids aren’t coming, now we have more room, I’d love to have you to be there!” I don’t consider an invite a declaration of my standing in their lives.
We also have a really wide range of friends who live all over the country and overseas. No one is going to be comparing dates the invite was received.
I also expect there maybe some people who live overseas that find out they will be in the area a few weeks before the wedding so know there’s the potential for last minute additions. We’re leaving roomfor that. If you think your friends will compare notes and find offense, don’t invite them. But if there are people you wanted to invite but the numbers were too much, and they are generous of nature and good natured, they’d probably be happy to be invited!

For us, we would pay for our entire guest list, it's not a matter of finances, but capacity due to COVID at our venue. We originally chose the space because it had room for everyone, state requirements changed and now capacity is 63 less than total capacity. Total capacity is 175, COVID capacity is 112, our current guest list is ~132 with making some assumptions of who will not show. We're probably going to have to make some tough decisions as we get closer, if these regulations are still in place. We want everyone there, the law is preventing it. So yes I'll be making a B list.

Unpopular opinion: I don't think it's rude. It happens. I've been B-listed at weddings before and totally understood, and didn't think it rude at all! I also think people are apt to be more understanding right now given the ever-changing capacity limits of gatherings. If you have to meet a minimum, fill up those tables! I'd much rather use my unmet minimum to invite more guests than just have it wasted.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this! I was also a B-list guest at a wedding a few years back, and it was totally fine. She wanted to invite more friends but has a large family; some family RSVP’ed no, so she reached out to friends. She saved a headcount and was able to invite a friend, and I was able to attend- win/win, with no hard feelings in the slightest.


There might be that B-list guest who grumbles at the etiquette, but they can just decline the invitation! I think most people will understand, and be happy to celebrate with you.

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Yes, most websites say it's acceptable to create 2-3 lists and even recommend to do them. It doesn't mean that the B/C-listed are not offended when they find out. And 99% of them do when they receive an invite 1 month out. These websites speak in the couple's name, but don't consider the guest's perspective on this one. Yes, couples can make B/C lists if they want to do them, but they can't control how other people feel and react.

The only situation that wouldn't bother me: if the A-listed are immediate and extended families only and ALL friends are B-listed,NO exceptions are made for 1-2 friends.