Guests add their own plus ones

If someone is in a relationship then you should invite both people as they are considered a social unit. Married or not makes no difference. Your guests are attending your wedding to celebrate your relationship so they should be allowed to attend with the person they are in a relationship with. A plus one is only for those that aren't in a relationship.

Are they in a serious relationship? Even if they are not married, if they are seriously dating I would make the exception. If not, I would kindly reach out and advise that due to limited space and budget, the plus one cannot be accommodated.

I suppose it would depend on how important it to you for this person to be there, if this was the only case where someone wrote in a plus one and you have the space and want this family member to attend then I would let it slide. If it’s impossible or you think it will cause an issue because other guests aren’t bringing plus ones then I would maybe have FH politely address it with this person and explain that you want them there but are on a strict limit of guests and you simply don’t have the room for other guests?

Have a conversation with your FHs family about the situation. I had one of these as well and it turned out my now MIL knew the cousin had a boyfriend and missed it when reviewing our guest list to make sure we didn’t miss anyone. My MIL took it upon herself to reach out and apologize since it was her cousin and offered to pay for the added individual. One of my cousins later asked for a plus one for a “friend”. The friend request was denied because it sounded like a best friend not a significant other. If it’s a relationship, you should allow it even though it adds a person. Work with your future in-laws to determine if it was a guest list mistake and the plus one was known about. If not, simply apologize that you didn’t know but are you excited to meet their partner.

We have a family member like this. The husband has been seen maybe 6 times in their 20 year marriage. In any event, they are married ao he always gets invited despite being practically invisible!

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It has never been said that his nephew is in a serious "long-distance" relationship with this young lady. We do not have many married family members or friends. We had a list of over 300 people and had to cut people. There are family and friends that I'd prefer to be there than this nephews "maybe" girlfriend...lol

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Girl, I have no clue, the "date" lives in a different state. Thanks for your suggestion!

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It may cause an issue on the day of or days after.... This is a nephew. We have siblings, cousins, and friends who do not have plus 1s and no-one else took it upon themselves to tell me who they are bringing...lol

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I understand that. They are married and everyone knows. This is a young nephew in his 20s and a female in another state of whom we do not know the relationship status. I'm gonna show the message to my FH then we can decide what to do.

View Quoted Comment Ugh! Frustrating, wellp it may just be best to address it with him and let him know that nobody else is bringing a plus one, maybe it was just a misunderstanding and he’s just assuming he has a plus one? Best of luck!!

Since it’s your FH side have him reach out to the person and be straight with them. Kindly remind them that the invitation was addressed to a single guest. Tell them the plus one will go on a second list and if you have some declines and if the budget allows it then they will be informed accordingly.

I believe the couple should be engaged or married and saying that, I have to invite my uncles wife who not one person in my family has met or seen. They eloped and kept it moving. We’ve have get-togethers and she doesn’t come. Maybe she won’t come to my wedding either.

I personally don't think it's right that this person added a plus one when you didn't give them a plus one. To me I find it kind of rude to just invite someone to someones wedding without getting a plus one or asking if they could bring this person. If you don't care if this person comes to your wedding then I'd explain to them that they don't get a plus one, and just tell them that you aren't going to be able to make accommodations for plus ones. When it comes to my wedding Im giving everyone who isn't married or in a serious relationship a plus one. I want my guest to have a good time. And some of my guests might not really know anyone at the wedding so for them to be able to bring a plus one might make them feel more comfortable. I know for me if I wasn't able to bring a someone to a wedding I was invited to I wouldn't go because I'm shy and would feel extremely uncomfortable.

View Quoted Comment It doesn’t appear to be a guest list mistake. It sounds like the invited guest just up and invited his own plus one. The OP knew about the girl but has limited contact with them so didn’t invite them. It’s a tough position to be in!

Honestly, we had a similar situation with a cousin he fell in love like a month before we sent invitations. For us it's a space issue we can't accommodate extra people at our venue. We told him, we're sorry she can't come we don't have the room.

Honestly, if you knew the person was in a serious relationship and have even met the significant other (even if only a few times), the significant other should have been invited originally. I think it is kind of rude to not invite someone who you’ve met and who has been dating the person invited for at least 2 years. It would be completely different if the plus one had only been with the person a month or so and you’ve never met them.

“Hi ___, sorry for any misunderstanding but the wedding invitation was for you only. Due to space and budget reasons, we can’t accommodate additional guests. I hope you’ll still be able to make it!”


But be prepared for him to be pissed and/or not attend at all

You've "only" met this person five times? You're making it sound like they may or may not be in a relationship. It sounds like they're definitely in a relationship. Every guest's significant other should be invited by name. you don't get to judge the seriousness of someone else's relationship. How can you invite a loved one to celebrate your relationship when you're not honoring theirs?

I would call them and let them know you were selective with your guest list and only have room for those explicitly invited. Let them know you'd really love for them to be there, but you don't have room for a plus one.

If they refuse to come without their plus one, change their RSVP to "no" and leave it at that.

View Quoted Comment There are people who live together, or date exclusively over a long period of time, 5 years or 30 years, who will never choose marriage. But they should be invited together. Unfair to only invite couples who are engaged or married. A better social dividing line is do they see each other exclusively, and seriously, no one else. If so, they should be treated as a couple. Standard etiquette, committed couples are invited as one unit.

My now husband and I seriously dated when his brother in law (i guess? His step dad's son) was getting married. He didn't get a plus one and we didn't even ask if I could come. It's kind of assumed the names on the invitations is who is invited. I didn't take it personally neither did my then bf.
For our marriage celebration next year we