Guestlist and the +1 Debate

A significant other is an automatic invite and not considered a plus one. The period of time they have been together is not up for judgement.
It is never rude to not allow plus ones. Especially if your guests will know others (big families, friends). Not everyone wants to bring a date or is comfortable asking. At the same time, not everyone wants or can afford to feed strangers.

I've been completely single at many weddings where plus ones were not done (never heard of them either before Weddingwire) and had a blast with the other guests in attendance.

View Quoted Comment This is excellent! Thank you so much. Yeah - our guests (even the single ones) are going to know a bunch of people already so I won’t worry about it too much.


Thank you!!!

People in relationships are a social unit and should be invited as such, married or not. Single guests are up to your discretion. It’s nice to give them a plus one if they won’t know other guests to mingle with. I personally would give your bridal party plus ones. They’re spending a lot of time and money on your wedding, plus they’re your closest friends, they should have someone to enjoy the reception with.

View Quoted Comment Re: people in relationships are social unit - I completely agree. I wrote my original post in the worst way because I was trying really Hard to think of how to ask my question.


The bridal party will get a + 1 (all the groomsmen are already coupled so dont need to worry about them).
Fiancé wants to invite like 200 people, but I know we definitely can’t afford that so I’m trying to be strategic in our planning.
Thanks again!

I would say typically, you should always say plus + 1 for the single people... however, we most likely will have covid restrictions next year, so anything goes and I probably wouldn’t do plus 1s for the sake of keeping numbers down!
💕

Congratulations on your engagement! I had this same conversation last week with my partner and we came to this agreement: if married, +1. If in a long term relationship where you’ve met their partner, +1. If they’re traveling for your wedding, +1. This was simple enough and actually brought our guest list down by a LOT. I hope this helps!

We did not invite plus ones. We invited all significant others (no matter how long or short the relationship, it wasn't our place to judge), but we didn't do plus ones just for the sake of bringing a date.

For All serious/married couples; both people are invited. We only gave actual +1s to single people from out of town

I included plus ones for everyone only to make them feel comfortable especially if you know they will know no one but the bride/groom. A few single friends came by theirselves anyways, but as a person who was invited by their self... was kind of uncomfortable being by myself and not knowing anyone else. Also plan for no shows especially now. Even if things get better & people rsvp that their coming... people tend to feel it is unsafe and decide last minute not to show.

I agree with what everyone else said. I just wanted to add that, for planning purposes, I would count every single person with a plus one since you never know when people may start dating someone, and you don't want to be in a position where you didn't account for new relationships. A lot can happen in a year, especially relationships-wise.

We’re inviting all couples as a unit and following the “bridal party always gets plus ones” rule, but we only have one bridal party member who is not seeing someone. We are not giving plus ones to single guests. We don’t have that many, and all of the single guests we will have know others there. Most are close relatives (like FH’s sisters), so they won’t be lonely by any means. I would give a plus one if we had a single guest who didn’t really know anyone, though. We were lucky that our guest list didn’t work out that way.

Everyone isn’t getting a plus one for ours. For the people who are living together, been together for awhile, engaged/married they will get a plus one but that’s about it for us.

If I budgeted for 1 person then I budgeted for 2. I realize not everyone does and according to etiquette that's okay, but it was a personal choice. I have an anxiety condition and I know what it's like going to an event alone and I hate it. Unless I'm going with a few very specific family members I would feel very uncomfortable all night. I don't want to make anyone feel like that. I cut down on people who were obligatory invites to make room for people I really wanted to be comfortable. That said, several will probably not bring dates anyway.

If it's an extremely small wedding(mostly family or very close friends) I think it makes more sense if you prefer not to include +1's, but in general I think it's much nicer to allow people to bring a +1 if there aren't any restrictions on limits due to Covid. If a person is single, they may feel less comfortable or enjoy the reception less than if they would have a date/guest with them to be able to enjoy the night with. However, it's your day so everyone should be understanding of whatever you both decide!

View Quoted Comment Thank you everyone for all of the advice. This will help FH and I make a better decision when we sit down to discuss guest list.


Thank you all and congrats to all newly engaged / newly wedded / or have been wedded for a while! ❤️

I feel like it’s kinda rude to expect someone to show up alone to a wedding. I was that dingle friend being invited to a lot of weddings in my day and I hated going alone especially if it was to someone’s wedding where I knew I wouldn’t know a lot of people like a college friend. So I always brought my mom along (my mom knew all of them except maybe one).

View Quoted Comment Oh totally not trying to be rude by not having people be able to bring a +1. I’m 36, so all of my friends, and all of FH’s friends and family are either married or in serious relationships except for maybe 10 of them. Our single friends are people we hang out with on a pretty consistent basis so they are going to know a lot of people anyway. If they would know no one (example an old colleague I’m still friends with is single and she’s getting a +1) they would get a +1.


I have been invited to a wedding, without a +1 when single. I have also been invited to a wedding without a +1 and FH and I had been dating for 4 months and the couple knew him well. I’m just trying to keep my guest list down because in Los Angeles we are probably going to have Covid restrictions until 2022.
Thanks 😊

I told my friends that I was allowing “known hookups only” as in, I have to have meet the person or know of them at least for them to bring them, to prevent people from bringing a random tinder date, but make sure people get to bring their soon to be significant other if they aren’t putting titles on it. Of corse I still had some people the month before let me know they’ll be bringing a plus one when I had no idea they were talking to someone.

We’re allowing the +1 for everyone (single or not). What we’re not allowing is children- I’ve told everyone that this is an adult only party. Even on the RSVP- says Adult Ceremony/Reception.

How are you brides handling the +1 for single friends? I want to make a rule that we only give +1 to friends / couples who are married or seriously seeing someone to avoid someone bringing just a random person just for the sake of having a +1.
Is there any type of etiquette Fiance and I should be following? Is it rude to not allow people a +1? Some of my bridesmaids are single too, so do they get a +1? --> My situation might be a little different but we didn't give +1's for anyone who was single, only ones in long-term relationships/marriages. However, for your bridesmaids, I feel like it's okay to ask directly what they're comfortable with and who they'd bring if they did. One of my bridesmaids is kind of seeing someone but doesn't want our family to know yet, so she told me to not include a +1 for her.