guest that didn't give a gift

Is it just me or does it seem like there have been 1000 posts in the last couple of weeks on pissed of Brides and Grooms because of a lack of wedding gifts? LOL

The reception is the thank you. Thank you cards are only for people who give a gift.

I'd wait a 6-8 weeks more for those people because some people do send gifts after, but still thank them for coming.

I realize I'm in the minority here but having attended all destination weddings (I have never been to one local to me) I always send the card w/check after. No one has ever complained (to me). The last one, which I spent about 2k on travel costs for actually sent me a thank you for coming card before I got my gift out. I didn't bring a card to the events because as a frequent traveler I don't want to have to keep track of all that crap on the trip. Until joining here I didn't realize it was viewed as crazy rude of me.

My wedding will be destination for all involved and I honestly have told them their presence is our present. I don't want crap, I want them there if they can make it. I also would hope they, knowing it's destination, don't bring gifts or cards there. I wouldn't consider that rude at all. I'd be thankful that it's one less thing to worry about.

I won't be writing and cross referencing Carmela and Tony Soprano style but I will keep track of who gets us a gift and who doesn't. I will be side eying the hell out of those that don't. Most of the people attending our wedding either myself and my parents have gone to some gift giving function of theirs and we don't show up empty handed. A card takes minimal effort and funds. That's all we want, a card with well wishes at the very least. Will I make a post about. No. Will I dwell on it for more than a day. No. Will I put them on a shit list. Depends on my level of petty that month.

OMG! I'm not upset about it. I'm only surprised about it. At my age bracket one should know their manners. as I said before, I wasn't brought up that way to show up empty handed. And was only asking an etiquette question thats why I posted it on the weddingwire to send a thank you card or not. Yes, they spent money getting all dolled up and coming, I get it. I've been at weddings before not my first time. But if I could spend money on myself on that day and not have enough to spend on the hosts, I would prefer to spend the money on sending them a gift/card or both instead of on me. Its not about me that day. its about the host/ hosts of the event. I am just surprised these days on the millennium book or etiquette. I'm old school, you are there for that person/persons they come first. Weddings, events are expensive and a simple card would have been more then thoughtful, loving & most of all proper. Sorry I asked.

Thank you Kate. exactly what I am trying to say.

Gymrat's responses are giving me life rn lol

Sucks being a people pleaser??!!!

Ffs thank you @gymrat! I'll definitely track who gives what for the sake of thank yous!

I haven't even had my wedding yet but damn as much stress and money as we're putting out for guests, I at least would like half of a 2 for $1 card deal from dollar tree! Like @op my mother taught me to never ever go to a house or event emptyhanded*. So yes it's ok to vent about this. No thank you card necessary for no gift.

@Flor

I say a lot that sometimes etiquette varies, depending on the household! I was raised the same way as you it seems. It sucks being a people pleaser because not everyone thinks as you do. I would go with what you want to do, I personally agree with the other posts that said you don't have to. The reception is indeed their thank you!

Good luck love!

Not necessary in this case, but also not prohibited if you just want to send a thank you for traveling a long distance or something

@Gym I feel like I can literally hear you saying this out loud and it's making me giggle. Also I love the part of your FH staring and shaking his head hahaha.

Technically, a gift at a wedding is not required, but best wishes are. That being said, even at my most broke, I always managed to throw $50 into a card for a wedding.

To OP-no gift, no card, no thank you required.

I agree with @OS and @Gymrat here. Especially @Gymrat since I'm not buying for a second that people didn't "keep tabs" of the gifts. We needed to for the thank you cards so as we opened them we had to mark it on an excel. We had a friend write us a heartfelt note in a card and it's still one of my favorite "gifts" because she took the time to write us a lovely note rather than show up empty handed to a hosted event. There were 4 guests who came completely empty handed and I totally still side eye them. Not mad, just really disappointed at the lack of basic manners.

LOL it's true!

I'm surprised he doesn't have neck issues from the amount of times he shakes his head at me!

I plan to send thank you notes for gifts and then anyone that traveled for the wedding (that will be most guests).

My age bracket is in the 50's-60's. So that is why I am surprised.

You can never expect people to do things just because it is what you would or would not do. That's a fantastic way to be disappointed and bitter your whole life.

Personally, I would rather not get a bunch of "To the Couple, on Your Wedding Day" sappy cards. Just come party with us.

Not sure why this topic about having etiquette has instead become about dress coed. whole point is missed. Never mind. The ones that understand what I was asking & saying, thank you for your great advise.