guest that didn't give a gift

@OS I would be a bit disappointed but I wouldn't dwell on it to the point of being so upset to write a post about it. I also wouldn't be judging them for how they did their hair and got dressed, it just seems a bit excessive to be that concerned about whether or not you got a gift. It's not like you can do anything about it afterwards.

We had a handful of people that didn't give us a card. It is what it is. I've got bigger fish to fry.

@OS Yeah, again it's not worth dwelling over. Like I could name 1000 other things on my mind that don't have to do with a card that I would throw out eventually anyway.

Lmao @Olivia

@O&S, yes, I would be upset. I'm a person who absolutely always gives a heartfelt card if nothing else. I would feel very disappointed if someone didn't even send me well wishes. Like, did you just come for the food and drinks? Or are you truly happy for me and my so? If they are truly happy, they would at least send a card. I think it's downright insulting to not even wish the couple well with a card.Just my opinion though, since I am a sincere individual.

@O&S - I have a couple that came to my wedding and didn't leave a card. It didn't really bother me. I was just happy that all my family and friends drove 3 hours to hang out with me. That meant more to me than a card that I'm just going to throw away.

ETA: I didn't really keep track of who didn't give things. I did track who gave what specific gift for cards. I only noticed that this specific couple didn't leave a gift because he specifically told me not to send a thank you card, so I was going to send one to his husband only, but they didn't leave a card, so I didn't.

LIARS! lmao! ;-)

You must keep track of who gave what, otherwise how would you know what to write in the thank you card? Or are some of you writing generic thank you's to every single person that attended?

H and I opened up every card and I entered the gifts in Excel, because I wanted to be specific when I write my thank you's (also for keeping track of the finances).

I'd be a liar if I said H and I didn't say to each other, "whaaaaaat? That mofo didn't even bring a card? Ole rude ass."

Okay, maybe "I" said that, he just sat there and shook his head at me like he usually does.

Am I "dwelling" on it, or did I dwell on it longer than it took to say that? No, but let's not act all prim and proper up in this bitch that you didn't FOR A SECOND side eye the fuck out of someone who didn't AT LEAST bring a card.

A gift I don't care about. But damn - can a sista get a Hallmark from the 99 cent store?? SHEESH

If I went through life expecting everyone to hold the same standards and etiquette that I practice, I would be sorely disappointed all the time. Of course I would send a card with money and a gift but that doesn't mean I will get upset if someone else doesn't. It's really not something you can control. Years of anxiety have taught me that I have to let go of the things I can't control.

@OS - I've seen your sarcastic and hilarious comments all over this forum. I have no doubt that you don't dwell because you honestly seem like the type of person who dgaf (I truly appreciate that by the way). However OP did seem like they were dwelling and I would just hope they would be more focused on the happiness of their marriage and all the good that came out of their wedding day rather than if a few people didn't send a card.

^^^^^^ finally some truth. @gym

It seems that some of the people that are answering with a bit of anger and think I care about a GIFT. I guess you miss understood so let me explain. I care about the thought and simplicity of giving. I had 2 poems and 1 beautiful letter from 3 people that I know have no money to spend. But their words touched my heart that I get teary eyed just writing about it on this post. Actions speaks louder then words as they say, and their actions to take the time out to sit and write such beautiful wishes will forever touch my heart. That is priceless and my thank you card to these 3 guest will never be enough to ever match their graciousness.

@OP - well everyone told you that you don't have to send a thank you card to those who didn't offer anything to you. I don't think anyone really disagreed with you that it's rude to not send anything but it's just life. I haven't had my wedding yet but WW has taught me that there's always surprises and those surprises include bad etiquette from other people. What ya gonna do about it?

@OS I think what you said is the truth!

@Lucille:

Gymrat be like:

Nothing.

Nothing.

Earrings.

Nothing.

Nothing.

LOL!!

Etiquette says guests have 1 year after a wedding to send a gift. Even if they don't, they cared enough to attend and witness your marriage.

@gym agreed.

You said it was a "formal wedding," so maybe they felt like they had to get all dolled up and have their hair done. If you set the standard for appearance at the wedding, then you shouldn't judge if they spent their money to meet those expectations. I think I'd be surprised at no card but not mad, especially if I thought they spent a lot just to attend.

My guest list is in excel, and there are columns in it for "gifts received" (It's a template straight from excel), so I will know who did or didn't bring a gift and/or card as I'm updating to write thank you cards. Will I side eye a little if one doesn't bring even a card, maybe (read: probably). I'm in the camp of "the least you can do is bring a card". I definitely wouldn't say anything, though.

@OP, just don't write the thank you card. You are under no obligation to since they didn't bring anything.

Thank you O&S#D&B.

Lol O&S

After a year just keep the damn gift lol

Use it for the next wedding.

I'm not so sure that "stupid" is how you're feeling when it comes to the idea of sending a thank-you card to someone who didn't bring you a wedding gift (or a card...which begs the question: are the couple required to send a thank you card for a wedding card, and if they are, what's the proper verbiage? Would you, OP, feel stupid sending a card thanking someone else for a card?). I think "resentment" is more of what you're feeling.

To me, it isn't a big deal to write a short sentiment in a pre-printed card thanking your guests for their gifts and/or their presence. I know...the reception is the thank you, but what harm can one more thank you do? A pre-printed card, a two sentence "thank you for sharing our wedding day with us", and a stamp?

And let's not forget that attending weddings cost your guests. I think it's sad that anyone would look at their guests and calculate the cost of their clothing, their hair, make-up, shoes, etc. and then ascribe a value to those things that could have gone towards a wedding gift (that actually may be arriving in the next few months -- which is perfectly acceptable). Honestly, I don't get the holding back on one more formal "thank you". The biggest disaster at my wedding would have been if nobody showed up to celebrate a milestone in our lives. So, yes, thank you....again.

LOL Lucille.

The only conflict I have is my grandmother. She didn't bring a gift or a card. But I will send her a thank you card because she lives in the same house as my cousin and Aunt who each gave us a gift. I think it would hurt her feelings to see they rec'd a thank you card but not her.

aaah well. Poor gramma. lol