Guest still doesn't know if they can attend or not

Give her until the day before you have to give your numbers to your vendors.

My caterer needs numbers 3 weeks out, which is in 10 days. If she still doesnt know 9 days from now, what do I do? This is more of an abstract question--what do you do if youve hit your absolute deadline and you have a guest telling you "maybe"?

Include her in the count since it sounds like she really wants to be there and will be, schedule permitting.

I agree. Go ahead and count her as a yes. If she doesn't show up more than likely Some one will ask if they can bring a guest lol

Add her to the count. Better to have too much food than not enuff.

Although your caterer says they need final numbers 3 weeks out, they could probably accommodate a last minute addition. Ask them when you phone in your numbers. Tell them your scenario and ask if you can increase the count by 1 if she is able to make it. That way you won't be billed for her plate if she can't.

Thats a lot of money for someone who 50/50 may not come, though. (it's her +1, so about $300 for their plates.) I'm happy to pay that for them to be there, but if they dont come, I'd be a bit annoyed that I spent $300 on their uneaten food.

I have a similar situation with my sister . She is in college and lives in another state . I told her I would reserve her a seat regardless of whether she can make it or not .

This unfortunately isn't unusual. Call you guest tell her you'd live to have her there but need to know by x date. If she is still unsure talk to your cater adding two I'd imagine wouldn't be impossible if you needed too.

Our numbers were due 72hrs out Tuesday for Thursday wedding. My aunt the week before wasn't sure if her parentner could make it, but we wanted too (he's a very good reason) i said no problem but had to send final numbers and seating plans off by Tuesday morning to let me know. Tuesday she rang he still wasn't sure he'd wouldn't be able to decide until day off, but not to worry about him he wouldn't mind sitting out in the bar to have dinner!! Obviously we couldn't have a guest sitting outside the function room in the bar if he came so we included him in the numbers just in case and he did make it. Also in the Tuesday (day final numbers were due) my boss rang to say he was really sick, he might have to go into hospital but hoped he didn't, but really wanted to go and would have see how things went and see in the day how he felt. We also included him and thankfully he did make it.

I would let her know that you need your numbers by X date. If she is isn't sure, unfortunately you will need to mark her as a decline.

OR

You can ask your caterer what happens if you need to a person the day of the wedding--will they be able to accommodate?

There's no "maybe". If she's still saying maybe, you say "well then I have to make it a no. I can't wait any longer. I'm sorry we'll miss you, and let's get together soon!"

I wouldn't count her in your final numbers. $300 is a lot of money for a "maybe". If she does end up saying that she can come then check with your caterer to see if you can add another.

We're talking about one person, so I would just add her and take the loss if she doesn't show. ETA: or maybe not, since you're paying a crazy amount per plate. Give her a hard deadline and don't budge. $300 is a lot to spend in uneaten food.

Give her until that day and it still doesn't know, it's a no.

One person, you could probably squeeze in last minute, the problem is when you have 10 people that do that. Just be honest. Say I would love for you bothto come and I know you want to as well. I'm in a sticky situation because my vendor requires a head count and we are trying to make sure everyone can come without going too far over - and paying for extra seats. If uncle xxxx can't make it, can you come? Who can I sit you with so you won't be by yourself? (Which is probably the real reason behind maybe)

Ugh, I feel your pain! I invited a couple who I'm not very close with anymore, but they invited us to their wedding last year which we attended, so I extended an invitation to them as a courtesy. Now they are having a baby, which is wonderful! But they are due the week of my wedding, and as of now they are a "maybe". I can't imagine I'd feel like attending a wedding at 39 1/2 weeks pregnant, so I assumed they would just decline but they keep telling me "maybe". I'm not going to push them at all because I don't want to be insensitive, but I also don't want to waste $300 in seating/food. Maybe's are tough!

I would say don't include her if she's still unsure by the deadline and just let her know that you would have loved for her to be there but you understand and wish her luck with her new position and the move. No need to spend so much money for the possibility of people being there. If you're honest with her and she knows she's not included in the guest count then there's no harm done.

I agree with ^ Alforev.

Here's an idea! If she declines, send her a delivered meal or housewarming note to let her know you support her in her move and big changes. Would let her know there's no hard feelings and your still ahead spending less to send her something vs. $300 a head at the wedding.

I hope she can make it to your wedding! I'm sending good vibes your way.

Ask your venue how many more people they are prepared to serve/seat last minute. Many vendors are prepared gor this, usually 5% of your count... I wouldn't count her as a yes unless she says yes, you can go up the day of but you can't go down. Good luck!

Also... you should be mentally and financially prepared for a few no shows (people whi RSVP YES) and don't show up. It happens... and it will be an easier hit if you are prepared for it.