Guest RSVP'd "No" But Changed His Mind Days Before Wedding

He can't come. Simple.

Have your parents call his parents. Your parents are paying, so perhaps they'll listen to them. I wouldn't focus so much on the mis-matched chairs (because that's not really anything to stress about), but focus on the penalty.

If his parents are willing to pay the penalty, will you all be ok if this person does indeed come?

Yeah, we said that the guy can't come and his dad keeps fighting us. He's guilting my groom and making him feel bad; a day before the wedding! I'm afraid his dad will bring the guest anyway...then what do I do?

It amazes me that people can be so unreasonable. I would think any normal person would understand that changing your mind 3 days before a major catered event would most likely be impossible. And your FIL seem to be just as unreasonable. I would simply tell them that if it really means so much to them that he attend, they will need to pay any costs associated with it, such as a penalty charge with the caterer, etc. because you, FH and your parents have already paid the final bill. Money talks and people will usually back down if they have to cover the expenses.

Tell them they have to pay the penalty and see what they say. If they won't pay, my concern would be him still showing up and taking a seat of an RSVP'd guest. I do hear that some who do RSVP don't show, but you probably don't want to count on that.

EricaTx, I don't want to have to contact the caterer the day of the wedding and change the count, ask them to contact the rental company to add on extra rentals, and change all the things I've already set up just for this one person that I don't even know.

Chances are someone who RSVPed yes will not shot up. Maybe have him chance it with the warning that he may have to drive his indecisive butt back home if everyone shows.

Then just be ready to accept the fact that you might see him there. If your groom's husband is ignoring y'all's wishes, there's really not a lot you can do. Except have security escort the person out.

I'm sorry this is a tough situation to be in but I agree with some of the others. How important is this guest to your FIL? And I think if your FIL really wants him to be there, he can foot the penalty.

Is FFIL agreeable to paying the penalty? If so, great, let him come, if not then it is a no.

If it was me, no he can't come. And if he does, he'll be asked to leave. That's the way the cookie crumbles..

This is EXACTLY why I didn't want my parents inviting random people I do not know to our wedding!

Tell your FIL that he can foot the bill/penalty costs associated with adding on his friend. AND he can also be the one to contact the caterer, the rental company and whoever else needs to know they another person is being added. It's the day before your wedding and you don't have time to deal with this shit.

This is really unfortunate. I would, however, guess that your venue/caterer and rental companies are prepared for just this situation and will have extra meals/chairs/etc, if you want to try and accommodate him. I would say have FFIL call, but, if he isn't on the contract they may not be willing to deal with him. Since it's FH's side, he should call the caterer and see what they say. USUALLY adding one person is not a big deal, it's if you remove people they get upset. But that does depend on your caterer/rental companies.

Again, this is all IF you want to try and deal with this person showing up. You can ask FFIL to pay the penalties but I wouldn't count on seeing a cent of that.

Good luck and hope you have a great day!

If the groom's dad is that adamant tell him that he has to pay the meal cost and the penalty to have this friend there. If he's not willing to do that, the answer is then no.

How good is your caterer about last minute people?

Our venue makes extra food on principle, just in case extra people show. They said it's not unusual to get a few extra people to call last minute and say they would like to come. They said that's not a problem, just let them know, and they won't charge for the extra as long as it's within a few people.

Oh god. i get this alllll time time. if I hear one more complaint/solution of "what if he brings his own chair?" "what if he packs some food?" "what if he wants to bring a really nice gift?" I'm punching the person. yeah, that's what I dreamed of... a "bring your own wedding" where people I don't want are there and screwing up my vision, sitting on lawnchairs and eating some mcdonalds they picked up on the way... dream wedding right there.

What else do you need to communicate with your FFIL? I would just have your FH stop picking up the phone this close, and worse comes to worse, the friend comes and there's nowhere for him to sit, hopefully if you have a seating chart he'll get the hint. I wouldn't let it bother you, no means no sorry sorry bout it