Guest list

I personally don’t want anyone I don’t know at my wedding. But my fiancé and I are paying for our wedding my parents are only buying my dress and that is how I want it.
If your parents are picking up the majority of the bill I understand. I don’t necessarily agree but I understand why they think they should get their couple of people.

View Quoted Comment They are paying for a majority of the bill and I’m not opposed to them having people they know but not at the expense of people we know. Also they won’t even be sitting with them and prolly won’t really get to interact with them bc they will be busy with family and making sure things run smoothly so I don’t see the point. If we knew them I’d be okay with them being there but we don’t and nobody else would either so I think it’s awkward and not right.

I personally would love to have only guests that my FH and I know. But I know there are some cases such as yours where your parents are paying for majority of the wedding. I would kindly give them a table with just who they want to invite, but I wouldn’t offer more. You will have to look back at your wedding video and sometimes question “who is that?” or “do you still talk to them?”

I think that depends on who is footing the bill... but I'm guessing they are if they're allowed to tell you to cut the guest list by 20.
Idk, my parents don't have any friends that I dont know. Anyone that I invited that would be considered their friends, I've known my entire life. Seems odd that they're inviting people you've never heard of.

View Quoted Comment I agree but I don’t feel like I should have to have people I don’t know at my wedding.

View Quoted Comment Yes they are paying a majority of the bill but we are still paying for a lot too. And yes I do think it’s odd thank you. They have people we know they could invite but they didn’t and wanted them instead and it’s always bc not only do we not know them but none of the other guests would either. I get my side and my fiancé’s side don’t really know each other but for the most part, everyone knows a majority of the people at the wedding.

I agree with you, it seems like it would be awkward for the people your parents are inviting if they don’t know anybody there, and your parents aren’t even going to be sitting with them! any chance you and your spouse could foot the bill for the additional 20 people, so you don’t have to cut anybody?

Welp your parents are paying for your marriage so it's their party now. I think you just gotta deal.

View Quoted Comment Oh I understand your frustration. I’m sorry. Honestly my fiancé and I sat down and discussed finances and decided to pay for our own wedding so we wouldn’t have opinions of who to invite and what to do pushed on us.
Families can produce tricky situations. It’s a hard balance between what’s right for you and picking your battles. Best of luck! I hope it all works out for you

I’m so sorry to hear this.. I really dislike when parents or people in general try to invite their friends and others to someone else wedding. I hear it a lot when they are paying a portion of it but still, it shouldn’t be that way. That’s why we chose to pay for everything ourself bc Im not allowing people to make up our guest list, other than who they want to bring as their plus one. I hope you work it out bc cutting down 20 people sounds hard but I would deff start at the people I don’t know bc it’s not fair to you and FH.

I think your train of thought is reasonable but if they're paying, you have to respect some of their choices. I'd like to say they should know it's your day and you should absolutely get what you want but money talks. If they're paying and they have a reason that these people need to be there, let it be.

View Quoted Comment It’s not their wedding it’s mine and I’d pay for the wedding entirely if we could but we can’t so we are only paying so some of it . But jr doesn’t mean they can invite whoever they want. I’m not opposed to them having a friend but not someone that nobody else knew and not in place of people we want there that’s not fair

View Quoted Comment I’m paying for some of the wedding too and like I said I’m not opposed to them having a friend but 4 people we don’t know and nobody else does? And 4 people but we have to cut 20 we do know? That’s not fair.

View Quoted Comment Thanks it is hard and me and my parents are working on a solution I know we can come
To some agreement that’s fair.

View Quoted Comment Too bad u feel that way however I don't agree. I think it's totally fair for your parents to have 20 ppl their no matter the reason because their paying. Paying "if you could" isn't reality. Reality is their paying and cash is king.

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I agree that it's ridiculous but you might have to compromise if they're paying. It's the name of the game. My parents are paying for 25% of the wedding and my FH and I are covering the other 75%. We still compromised on a number of things out of respect and appreciation to their contribution.

View Quoted Comment No they invited 4 people Nobody but them knew but wanted us to cut 20 people. They aren’t paying for the entire wedding just part of it and it’s our wedding not theirs. It’s not fair we have to cut people but they get to keep people nobody else knows. Luckily we were able to come to an agreement but that wasn’t fair and almost caused us to elope.

View Quoted Comment Not saying we weren’t willing to compromise but cutting 20 people we knew so they could have 4 nobody knew wasn’t fair. Luckily we were able to come to a compromise so it is working out but if we weren’t able to come to one there would have been a problem.

View Quoted Comment Damn not elope. Well i guess you won in the end. They help you pay for majority of your wedding and they get only 4 invites. Hmmm.

View Quoted Comment We did talk about that and it was an option and we were able to come to a compromise thankfully I’m so glad bc this was a problem