Guest List Stress

View Quoted Comment My opinion is that the “invitation etiquette” is incredibly outdated & illogical. I think it’s appropriate for each person to consider their circumstances and know their guests, and that’s what I’m suggesting. There are acceptable alternatives that people can consider & accept or dismiss at their leisure. If you consider it rude or don’t think it would go over well…by all means don’t do it.

View Quoted Comment This is an etiquette board, I am providing the etiquette. It’s not opinion-based.

View Quoted Comment This is the etiquette board. I was posting the etiquette.

View Quoted Comment An etiquette question does not necessarily call for a regurgitation of antiquated etiquette rules. “Is it rude?” That depends on your circumstances, guests, and your individual evaluation. Proper etiquette is not universal. That is the point of my response. You do not have to follow the rules if they don’t work for you and/or your guests.

View Quoted Comment It sounds like continuing to argue the point of posting etiquette on an etiquette board is not going to move us along. You do you.

View Quoted Comment Yes. That’s what I’ve been saying

View Quoted Comment No it wasn’t, but you have your opinions I can see. Again, there’s nothing more to be gained by furthering this.

View Quoted Comment Agree Christy!

If you haven’t spoken to them in a few years… they don’t make the cut

View Quoted Comment I’ve been working really hard to cut people, but still struggling. We have 150 on the guest list, 10 of whom have already told me they can’t make it, and an additional 10 who are children under age 7, so that gets us to 130! And that’s if everyone says yes, which I think is really unlikely given that it’s a destination wedding for many. I have a small family of 25 traveling from CA to PA. My fiancé comes from a huge family, so he’s got 40. We have 10 bridesmaids and 9 groomsmen, majority of whom have plus ones. When you add up both of our families, bridal party, and their plus ones, we’re at 95 people… so, really, my fiancé and I are each inviting an additional 15-20 friends/family friends from over the course of our lives. I don’t think that’s so crazy. Still struggling with finding a caterer though. Is it really that wild to hope for a good caterer that offers about $30 or less per person??

View Quoted Comment

I would find it really unlikely that a caterer would offer a full meal for $30 pp or less. Would that also include the tip? Have you asked caterers in your area what they would charge, maybe in your area it's cheaper?

I see your reasoning for your guest list but your venue is too small. You're over capacity.