Guest List Question for Postponed Wedding

Yes, that is a tough one. Did you stay with the same venue you had prior to the hurricane?

Honestly, I would not change anything. It would be more hurtful to drop certain guests in favor of others. No one can foresee weather or natural disasters, and you are doing the best you can to re-plan things. I would think most people would understand that, even if they were disappointed. I would keep it simple for yourselves and simply go with the people you invited initially. Do not send out a second round of invites if anyone now declines this new date.

I wouldn't stress too much. As far as I see it, you have two options:

1. Stick with your current guest list and if anyone asks, tell them the truth that you're at capacity.

2. If you would really like them to be there, switch to a bigger venue.

I would invite all the same people that you invited the first time.

In the end, you do not owe anyone an invitation, so it is up to you.

I would try to invite all of the people that were originally invited, but if you can't, that is that.

Honestly, if you're already at capacity and they've already declined coming to your wedding, regardless of their reasoning, do not invite them.

Frankly, you're at capacity and CAN'T invite them anyways. Don't worry about hurt feelings. If they ask, simply say that they've already declined the first time and you can no longer accommodate them at the new venue.

If you want to invite them anyways, then you need to cut others off your list. Do not invite more than your venue can hold.

Edit: I misunderstood your post.

I take it you booked a different venue and it doesn't have the capacity to hold your entire original guest list? If I were originally invited and couldn't attend but now would be available for the new date, I would be incredibly hurt if I weren't included.

Okay - I'm confused by your post. If they were invited the first time, they should be invited the second time no doubt.

Thanks for the responses, all! Our vendors graciously allowed us to use the original deposits we put down towards a future date, so we are having everything exactly the same. The family members are FH's cousins who he is close with, so when we told them the date, before save the dates went out, they told us they wouldn't be able to make it. Changing venues is not an option, as we had to use a good chunk of money to evacuate and repair our homes, so money is very tight. My gut is telling me that they declined once so we should not include them, but as WED18 noted, there could be seriously hurt feelings. If it wasn't a destination wedding I wouldn't even send STDs, but can't really get around that.

@soozie what a nightmare I never want to go through that again!!!

You should have had your venue by the time you sent save the dates. So you booked a venue that wasn't big enough? How many people over the max capacity are you talking about?

To me, that's an invite. And really, even though FH's cousins declined verbally, you probably still should have sent them a physical invite.

@spaghetti - Read OP's posts in their entirety before passing judgement and jumping down her throat?

Okay so it sounds like you booked a venue after you had some people decline a verbal STD and it is not big enough to hold everyone on your original guest list. Is that correct? If so, you have no choice but to leave off the original declines as you cannot accommodate them. If anyone asks, just explain that you booked a venue based on the original expected guest count and unfortunately that can't change even though the date did. It stinks, but that's all you can really do at this point.

Timeline of events: made guest list, sent date to mvps, booked venue, one set of mvps could not attend due to personal situation (told us verbally), sent stds to and all rsvp yes, planned wedding for 1.5 years, hurricane comes and ruins wedding, chooses new date, has guest list dilemma. Hopefully this clears up some confusion.

@WED18, that is exactly it, thank you!

Honestly, I would just invite the people that originally accepted the RSVP for the rescheduled event.

But if they declined the first time due to a conflict with the date.. And you've changed the date.. They should still be invited. Especially if FH is close with them.

@Cait - Spaghetti is correct in that you should have a venue in place that holds all intended guests before STD's go out. However, due to this being a DW, OP went off of verbal declines and is now in this unforeseen conundrum. Had the wedding gone off as planned, no harm no foul, but Irma had other plans. Not saying OP was wrong because she was planning a small event and checked with her MVP's first, but plans can and do change which is why WW always suggests that you plan for the max guest list. It's an unfortunate situation and I'm just happy OP is able to re-schedule and not lose her deposits. Hopefully the original declines will not be hurt and perhaps might still not be able to come for the same reasons they declined in the first place.

@Daniella, that's the dilemma. They are mvp's, who couldn't make our September 30th date, and that was conveyed to us verbally before we booked our venue and sent std's to the original guest list. Now that we have a new date, I am sure they will be expecting an invite, which puts us over capacity at the venue.

Can the people who originally could come to the first wedding date still come to the rescheduled date? Maybe if some of those people can no longer make it, you will free up space?