Guest List nightmare

Who is paying for the wedding? Because if you're paying, you decide who is invited. And don't invite more than your venue can accommodate. Plan for everyone coming when sending invites

Do not invite even ONE SINGLE PERSON more than your venue can hold. Period. Full stop. Non-negotiable.

You need to find out your maximum guest count immediately from the contact person at your venue. No guessing or assuming. Then go from there.

Is your mom paying? If not, she doesn't control the guest list.

Lots of verbiage in your post, but you can stop right at the beginning. If your venue can safely host 200 people, you invite 200 people. The imaginary 10% decline rate is hit and miss. Don't play roulette with your wedding venue. If your mother has another 20 people to add, tell her that you have already erred and over-invited. Let her know that there is no explanation that will change immutable facts: your venue hosts 200, not 220, and certainly not 240. There's nothing else to debate. Whatever seating map you're using to squeeze in another six individuals really means nothing if you're not sure your venue will allow six people over the legal limit. It's 200 guests, unless your venue tells you otherwise (and that's because of legal regulations).

Do not over invite. You cannot plan on any no responses. Over half our guest list lived 3+ hours away and we still had 95% show up.

200 may be their fire code so the venue may not legally be able to allow more than that. What will you do if 215 RSVP yes, turn the last 15 to arrive away at the door?!

Cut. The. List.

Did you ask your Mom what she plans to do with the extra guests when you are over your venue's capacity? Their capacity is likely related to fire department restrictions.

Do not invite extra guests.

I was going to ask who was paying also. If your mom is paying, I feel like it makes sense she has some say in the guest list. My FH parents just added like 16 family friends to our list after we thought we were done, but they are contributing, so we are accommodating! But we also told them we couldn't go over a certain amount and they said they would try to trim if we really needed them to.

Definitely only invite the amount of people the venue can hold! Maybe double check with your venue max.

Definitely double check the max capacity. Is that 200 with a dance floor? Can you see a set up at the venue for 200? Venues tend to be generous with what they say their facility can hold, but oftentimes a lesser number is needed for more comfort and elbow room. Don't invite more than what the venue can actually hold or you could really find yourself in a bind.

What will you do if you only get a 5% decline rate? Or 3? How are you going to explain to some invites guests that you don't have room for them? Don't over-invite.

Well, first check with the venue, you should know how many people your venue can hold before you send out any invites. What if everyone says yes?!

Max capacity of the venue is around 300, but the seated amount is around 200. Here's the layout if I wanted room for 200. It's comfortable. Our venue actually only owns 200 chairs and that's part of why the accommodation is 200.

Just tell your mom you are over capacity and can't add any more.

So, who's paying for the wedding?

If your mom isn't... no pay, no say!

I would stick with the 200 and then as RSVP no's come in - to just send out the next heat. You can't ever bet on the percentages. We had a lot more people RSVP yes than we were expecting!

I don't see the dance floor or space marked off for a DJ or band on that layout. Did your venue say whether or not that layout and 200 guests included space for those things?

Do not invite more people than your venue can hold. Decline rates cannot be predicted and you have to be prepared for the possibility that every invited guest will make it. If your mom is contributing financially, then she does get some say about the guest list.

If the venue doesn't have enough chairs, are you going to have mismatched or rent all 220-240? Also it looks like you are only going to have one buffet table which will take forever for a reception that size. If it's to scale, there doesn't look to be enough space surrounding the buffet, nor is there a big enough dance for for that many people. Where's the DJ? Bars?

I see you also only have certain tables marked as reserved. Are you not planning on assigning tables? If you don't assign all the tables, you'll need at least 10-20 extra seats just so families/couples don't get split up if they aren't the first people in the door.

Why would you ever invite MORE than the limit!?!?

Our DJ is on a separate balcony overlooking the reception floor, opposite side as head table. Our dance floor will flow into the area in front of the head table and down the aisle created by the tables.

Buffet is double sided, allowing it to take less time.

The bar is in a silo connected to the building. Directly left of the head table. So it's not part of the seating chart.

Originally weren't going to assign tables. Then reassessed but haven't had time to print a new copy to write on. Don't worry

You don't assign tables until you have RSVPs back. You're wasting your time doing that right now.

Never over invite!! You always have to "expect" for 100% participation