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Maricarmen
Expert September 2019

Guest list issues

Maricarmen, on August 16, 2019 at 11:01 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 35
A little long. Sorry to put drama out there but I need to know other peoples point of view. Back story to this. My FBIL’s gf/mother of his 2 daughters doesn’t like my FH’s family idk why. They have helped them a lot over the time they have been together 12years ( same as my FH and I). She is extremely rude and we literally see her twice a year. I get along so well with my FH family, I love them. Everyone sees how she is. Never lets FBIL come to family events and gatherings. Well my FBIL never talks to her about how rude she is to his mom or anything. Well obviously they are extremely close to HER family. Her family too is extremely rude and we just never have conversations other than hello when we see them at kids bday parties. Well FBIL is Best man. She won’t let him take part in bachelor party which okay fine we kind of expected it because we know how she is. Now she sends me this text. We don’t talk to her family at all. We see her mom once a year. At nieces bday party. Niece is going to be a page girl. She will hold a sign down the aisle. Honestly we just don’t want her mom there at all. They are rude to my future family but now I think he might not let my FBIL be part of the wedding. Was I wrong?

Guest list issues 1

35 Comments

Latest activity by Maricarmen, on August 20, 2019 at 11:12 PM
  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I don’t think you were wrong at all. She’s rude to even ask you to do that. It’s YOUR day and you can invite who you want and exclude who you want. I’m shocked at how rude people can be.
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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    Wooo, buddy. The b@lls on this woman! Seriously, do not feel obligated to let you FBIL's children's grandmother to come. That is nuts. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!

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  • Maricarmen
    Expert September 2019
    Maricarmen ·
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    Honestly I knew she was rude but I didn’t think she was THIS rude! Thank you!
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  • Maricarmen
    Expert September 2019
    Maricarmen ·
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    Exactly what I was thinking! Thank you! Definitely makes me feel better!!
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  • KiwiDerbyBride
    VIP May 2015
    KiwiDerbyBride ·
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    She’s entirely in the wrong, you’re entirely in the right. It was nice of you to invite her to the ceremony (great compromise) but under no circumstances do you have to invite her to the reception. Stick to your guns.
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  • Keri
    Expert November 2019
    Keri ·
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    Wow that is just rude. Your response was way more gracious than mine would have been!
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  • Maricarmen
    Expert September 2019
    Maricarmen ·
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    Thank you. Yes honestly I don’t even want her at the ceremony but to keep the peace I felt I needed to do so. There’s just no need for her to go to the reception, niece and FBIL will not be doing anything important there. He also will not be giving speech (her request). And yes I will stick to my guns!!!
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Absolutely not. Is she even serious? She’s got some nerve.
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  • Maricarmen
    Expert September 2019
    Maricarmen ·
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    Lol trust me I really bit my tongue! My sister was soo surprised at my response! The way I took it was I’m not gonna get mad because no matter what she will NOT be coming.
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  • Maricarmen
    Expert September 2019
    Maricarmen ·
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    I was hoping it was a joke too but nope! That’s her!!
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  • L
    Dedicated October 2020
    Lisa ·
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    LMAO what a catty counter-rejection. You handled that well.
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  • Stephanie
    Dedicated November 2019
    Stephanie ·
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    OMG! You handled that with such grace. I don't know the gf of your FBIL but that text is strong evidence of how rude she is! You are absolutely right to say no and did very politely. Honestly, it sounds like she wants to bring her mom so her mom can be a babysitter. Still not ok! Be prepared for her to say that her and the girls won't go. Hopefully your FBIL will see past this and still be best man
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  • F
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Fatima ·
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    Wow. Such catty response from her. You handled it so incredibly well. Bravo to you. I probably would not be as classy as you. Lol. But really good of you not to feed on her drama. For everyone’s sake, I really hope she does not attend your wedding.
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  • Maricarmen
    Expert September 2019
    Maricarmen ·
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    Yes maybe the babysitting thing is true but she can have her pick them up if she really wants a night off (other couples doing this)! Honestly this is why niece is just sign holder. FH and I agreed if she pulls her from the wedding we won’t miss the sign! Yes hopefully FBIL shows up because my FH adores his older brother even after all the drama!! Thank you!!
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  • Maricarmen
    Expert September 2019
    Maricarmen ·
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    Thank you! Yes definitely hoping she doesn’t come now!
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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
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    Your response was very polite and completely appropriate. I don’t think there’s anything else you can do. If she wants to be a drama queen, she’s going to do so. Even if you liked her mother, it’s still wrong for her to ask that of you and be snarky in response. I would try and just leave it at that, and let your FH and his brother figure it out from there if anything else arises.
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  • Alma
    Expert October 2020
    Alma ·
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    Her text pissed me off and I don’t even know her ! Lol good for you for not givining in! I know some people automatically feel obligated but I’m glad you don’t. Whether your niece makes it or not ...will be on her, not you!
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    A wedding is a ceremonial event for the couple. Spectators , like grandparents, of people in the wedding are totally out .
    My brother's MIL tried to convince her daughter to invite the bridesmaids' parents, to see their daughters . Everybody who heard about including MIL friends, said, you are kidding, right? No one invites people to see the wedding party.
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  • C
    Just Said Yes November 2020
    Crystal ·
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    Mari, this is YOUR special day! Do not under any circumstances allow this woman, her mother or any other person in your life tell you how it should go. Ok - so that’s a bit bridezilla- ish but not really. Perhaps talk to the fbil and get his opinion and definitely the FH’s take on it. This woman is a control freak. She is using her daughter to be manipulative and it isn’t right or fair to anyone including the daughter but especially you, and FH. You can be matter of fact with her (which you’ve done beautifully so far) without making it personal. If she won’t go without her mom then perhaps your day will go better than anticipated!!😁 and don’t worry. Trust your future niece will see her for what she truly is one day 😘 Best Regards
    Crystal
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  • Sara
    Devoted April 2020
    Sara ·
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    Wow! You are not wrong at all, this is your wedding day. I would never ask someone if I could add on a guest to their wedding. Her response was unbelievable. I think you kept it short, sweet and civil. Good for you.
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