This is an issue that has popped up twice--I'm not sure if I'm blowing it out of proportion or not.
Essentially, I have sent out STDs but not formal invites. Through the grapevine (my loyal bridesmaids) I've heard that some of the guests I sent STDs to expressed some disdain over being invited.
I'm talking disdain beyond the typical "oi vey, another wedding" eye roll charade. These particular guests actually expressed (to people within my close inner circle no less) that they were surprised to receive STDs because "we aren't even friends". Clearly the feeling wasn't mutual at the time because I thought to invite them, and of course I am hurt by that. My question, however, is this:
Can I now simply not invite these people who expressed disdain towards my wedding and towards me? If so, would I need to have a conversation with them about it? I'd hate to have a guest that doesn't consider me a friend and feels begrudgingly obligated to be there, or is just there for the food drink & party. I am not at all desperate for friends and in fact I could benefit from a smaller guest list, financially.
For some additional background, I was initially considering having a "B List" but after getting some firm advice from these forums (shout out to OGgretchen), threw that idea out in the interest of being on the up and up etiquette-wise. So I very painstakingly chose who to invite, and had to cut plenty of people whom I care a lot about! That really adds to the "ouch" factor--am I being over-emotional and reading too much into this? Should I just pretend that I never heard this and dismiss it as silly gossip--sometimes people just say mean things they don't really mean?
If I'm being real I very much do NOT want to invite these people anymore. I am spending more money than I planned on for this wedding, so I'm feeling a bit defensive (I know that's a bad reason but I can't help it!).