Guest List Help Please

You should try to cut it down. No one ever knows how many people will show up until RSVPs come back. There are plenty of people that get 100% of people showing up, and covid makes it even harder to know.
You just don’t want to have more people rsvp yes than your venue can hold

I would honestly try to cut it down to 100. It's not very likely that everyone would RSVP yes, but it wouldn't be fun to be in a position where you'd have to reach out to people later on (once travel arrangements are made) to let them know you have to uninvite them due to being over capacity. When inviting people, it's safer to plan for the scenario where everyone who was invited accepts.

View Quoted Comment I spoke with my coordinator and she said I should be fine and expects 75-80 people to show up. I’ve already pissed off my parents by cutting it down to 116. I really can’t cut it down anymore :/

Technically, my reception can hold 150. It’s the wedding ceremony that’s limited to 100

View Quoted Comment Is it okay to do a “phased” invite? Like wait, until 16 people say “No” and then, invite the last 16. I know I don’t want people to feel less important, but it’s the only way I think of cutting it down and not pissing off my parents.

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This is b-listing and is considered rude. Also, sometimes your parents are just going to have to be unhappy. If they're pissed at the size of the guest list, then they can stew.

View Quoted Comment Many people on here would recommend against doing A and B Listing, as it can lead to hurt feelings if anyone were to find out that they were on the B list. If you really can't cut your guest list further, is it possible to put your parents' friends all in the second group, and everyone else in the first group? If you do this, be sure to send out the invitations to the second group far enough ahead of time so they still have time to make travel arrangements. Otherwise, I would really try to cut the guest list down to only those who you genuinely cannot imagine your day without.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Your guest list is your decision, not your parents' decision.

View Quoted Comment It’s actually not my parents’ friends. I already said “No” to that. It’s just my aunts, uncles, and first cousins. I just have a really big family. My grandparents got really busy. I completely didn’t invite anyone on my father’s side so we are just talking about my mom’s side. I feel as though I can’t invite a first cousin but not the other. And I can’t invite an aunt/uncle without my cousins. So, id have to cut out all aunts, uncles, and first cousins.

View Quoted Comment My choices are: cut the 50 or so people from my list of aunts, uncles, and first cousins. Or just hope less than 100 show up from the 116. I’m actually really sad about this list because I have friends that I haven’t invited yet because I just have such a huge extended family. I honestly would rather have them than my extended family. Should I just cut all 50 of them out? It’s just awkward because one of my cousins is my bridesmaid but I’m not inviting anyone else. Yes… my aunts, uncles, and first cousins on my mom’s side really goes up to 50 (with their wives/husbands)

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Keep in mind that some will show for just the wedding, and others may just come for the reception. Not everyone has the time or plans to do both. This was the main Idea in my first wedding. Some people came for a few minutes and only stayed for an hour, others stayed the whole night. receptions are a lot like a revolving door when it comes to drinking, eating and socializing.

View Quoted Comment The issue isn’t the reception. I have a max capacity of 150 for the reception, but only 100 at the ceremony. The ceremony is at Thorncrown Chapel and the reception at the Crescent Hotel

Cut it down to 100, if you get some declined RSVP's and have enough time to invite more people late - then take that route. But I definitely wouldn't invite more than the maximum capacity

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Have you sent out invites yet? I would send out half the invites first, and keep a list of those who respond by whatever date you need them to respond by. Then send out the other half of the list and track those responses. This will help you gage a better Idea of who will make it and who wont and you can order extra indentations to send out at a later date. Only you know how you plan to send out your invitations, there's no rule stating you have to send them all out at once create a list in Excel order them A-Z order and send A-L wait for responses then record and send the rest. Send the shorter notice of time to those who may not be able to make it. This way they still feel included, but not obligated to come if they can't make it. This is just a thought.

View Quoted Comment Someone said that was rude… my choices are cut my entire extended family (aunts, uncles, first cousins) for a guest list of 65 because I can’t invite one without the other OR stick to 116 and only hope 100 or less show up to a destination wedding.


I’m not willing to cut the friends I actually want to be there.
Which one would you do with those 2 options?

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Instead of seeing this as an either/or, try starting over. Sit down with your FH and start with the two of you, then start adding people you cannot imagine having the day without. When you reach 100, you're done. You don't *have* to invite your cousins because you invited their parents. If you want them there, that's something else - but never invite people out of obligation.

View Quoted Comment Well, he doesn’t know anyone in my extended family. I’m honestly the problem. That 65 guest list (without my extended family) are the people we definitely 100% want to be there. It just seems weird for example to invite my cousin Jen, who I am close to, but not her brothers, whom I have not interacted with for over 10 years. It may also just be a difference in cultures. I’m filipino… and we generally invite quite literally everyone to a party. But, it’s also 10x cheaper to have a wedding in the Philippines than it is to have one in the US so we can afford to just invite everyone there, buy it’s a different story here.

I think its fine to not invite a cousin brother but invite her. I am doing exactly that. This is my 2nd wedding and the 1st time I invited my entire family, its huge, we ended up with a guest list of 330. 75 from my dad's side alone. This time, I am only inviting 2 cousins and an aunt from my dad's side. The am not inviting the 2 cousin's parents or siblings and I am not inviting the aunts kids. I am not close to anyone else, nor do I talk to them. What is the point of having people there you don't talk to, just cause they are family? Do want you want and your mom can deal.

View Quoted Comment People say that everything is rude when it comes to weddings lol in my opinion it's more of a know your crowd thing. For me personally if I sent an invite out to someone after I sent the first batch, they wouldn't care or be offended at all. That's why I specifically said if you have enough time then send out the remaining invites

View Quoted Comment Invite those you are closest to and those who supports your relationship. There's no way you can invite every single one of your family members