Guest list headache

We cut children that are not relatives, as well as people we haven't talked to in a while. Our max is 100, at one point we were at 110 but we're now down to 96!

I fell in love with a venue that held 88, and kept me within my original budget so we had to cut out list way back.

We listed must invite people, and then made decisions on who we wanted there. There are some people who won't be invited but I took into consideration the last time I talked to them, if we were still as close as we once were, etc. For example, I have second cousins that I haven't spoken to in 10 years so they were cut. I got some slack from family but it is what it is.

We are also not inviting kids.

Only coworkers that I see outside of work. My closest friends are also coworkers so I wanted them there.

Honestly, we couldn't afford more than the 88 so it is better for us that we have a limit. With declines we will save a bit more, or be able to upgrade the open bar to premium or upgrade apps.

I found this neat little chart and followed it. I have a huge family with a lot of children so I had to cut the kids or our guest list would've been more than double. Plus majority of the parents I talked to want a kid free adult night so it works out.

Also, although you can't count on this, its i believe about 20% that don't come.

I know 'b-listing' is considered extremely rude, however we are doing it only as far as plus ones go. We are giving some people a plus one, but my cousins who are younger than me and aren't dating anyone aren't getting one. If however we get our RSVPs back and have a lot of declines we will reach out to the few that didn't get a plus one and let them know they can bring someone if they'd like.

That's always an option to. If you set your RSVP date far enough in advance (ours will probably be about a month so I have two weeks to track people down and get the final numbers to venue) it leaves single people plenty of time to ask someone.

@LynZLeigh I commend you for giving everyone a plus one! We are doing the same. I think it's nice to give people the option to bring someone if they want. I've gone to weddings alone before, and sometimes it's OK and sometimes it's awful. I always appreciate the option of bringing a date, even if I choose not to.

No plus ones. Just deal with it.

My FH and I have a huge family as well!! Our guest list is roughly 75. Grandparents, parents, Uncles, Aunts, cousins he is close with, a handful of friends, and only kids are our daughters, and the out of state people if they can't get a babysitter. We would have way too many people and definitely not in our budget if we invited all of our family.

I have been dealing with the same thing with my guest list.. I cut out ppl that I haven't talked to in awhile. And I'm not giving out to many plus ones... If the guest know each other I tried putting them at the same table so at least they know some body... It's hard cutting it down. There were times I was just in tears. I only have kids that are in my bridal party..

Yupp!! Our list just kept going up and up and up. We ended up inviting just under 260 and I wish we were receiving a lot more "no" rsvps! FH and I have both kept in touch with large groups of friends, and have gone to so many of our friends weddings so it was really hard to cut lists down.

My only advice would be to take all co-workers off your save the date list (if you're inviting any). It took me a TON of convincing to get FH to agree to this, but I was firm on not sending STDs to co-workers and waiting to re-evaluate at invitation time. I was definitely right in the end - FH had 4 co-workers leave his office in the 6 months between sending STDs and invites and he had all of them on his original invite list!

I totally understand wanting to give everyone a plus one, but if you're really stuck and you have any larger groups that regularly hang out as a group, you could eliminate plus ones for those groups and assume they can hang out together like normal. By this I mean eliminate true plus ones - as in you aren't seeing anyone, even casually, and I'm giving you the option to find a random date, not actual SOs. It sucks going single if you don't know anyone, but if you can go with a group of other friends that's just as fun if not more fun to me than bringing a random date who I then feel like I have to entertain

Seriously, I mean, it depends on where you live, but I can not afford to pay $200 for strangers to come to my wedding.

Having the same issue. We were at 230 and cut it down to 180. Ideally, I only want 150.

I have a super large family and had to cut out half of my first cousins. Only people from out of town or who are in the wedding party can bring kids under 12. Guests that are single or we have never met their S.O. but know a lot of other guests will not be getting a plus one (ex: my sorority sisters will do just fine to hang out with each other) this last one might be petty but if they are getting married in the time frame between our engagement and our wedding but don't invite us, we figured we don't have to feel obligated to invite them... If it really comes down to it.

It really sucks to not have all the guests we want but it was either be cut throat with our guest list or have a cash bar/honeyfund. And we know how that goes.

Some suggestions:

-Only give plus ones to people in the wedding party. I have a handful of single friends that we are inviting, but we all went to college together so everyone will know each other. I didn't think there was any need for them to bring plus ones.

-Put a limit on family - for example, we aren't inviting anyone farther removed than first cousins. No one under 21 (e.g. family friends' kids) is invited unless they are in the immediate family/a first cousin.

-I'm not sure when you got engaged, but if I haven't seen a friend since we got engaged in December, that friend ended up getting cut. We may have been close 2-3 years ago, but recently drifted apart for whatever reason.

We are at 260 right now and keep growing! The majority of our guest list is family and family/my parents' friends. They are paying, so I'm fine with it. I just don't want my parents to stretch financially to include everyone they think needs to be included. I've counted about 50 that I think are definite nos (aging distant relatives), but I hope we get more than that!

Yup, only plus ones to serious relationships, those who don't know anyone else and people who would otherwise travel a long distance alone to your wedding.

20 local single sorority sisters who all know each other and are not in relationships can all sit together and do not need plus ones. But the friend who has to take a 6 hour plane ride and stay overnight at a hotel should get to bring someone.

My original guest list was 35, cut it down to 15.

If you aren't having a destination wedding, don't do STD's. That gives you way more time to decide on a guest list. If you send STDs out, you are locked into that guest list.

Also, try this (which I learned from the wonderful Janeen): If you wouldn't buy them a pancake breakfast at Denny's, don't invite them to the wedding.

I'm just praying that maybe everyone won't bring a date. Since a lot of them will have family and friends there. Maybe not.

The guest list is by far the most annoying aspect of wedding planning. (That I've encountered so far hahaha) We are at 146, but id love to have it closer to 120. My parents are paying for a portion of the wedding, so there are people we are inviting that I wouldn't. But if they are paying, they should get a say.

This has been the most stressful part for us. We made a list with columns for family and friends on both sides. We cut down starting with friends and co-workers. Then we cut kids (I still want them though). And now we have about 140 (including vendors). FH wants to get down to 100. But it's his extended (very close ) relatives that are pushing us over the magic number. We can afford to do 120 comfortably. But he doesn't want to pay for it. The next couple months will be interesting. This decision is mainly on him.