Guest list headache

I am also trying to cut mine. I tried to invite every family member at first, but decided it was too much. I went with the 5 year rule- if I haven't seen them in 5 years and don't talk to them regularly, they got cut. I'm still trying to cut mine even further. Best of luck!

Cut kids or kids that aren't like nieces and nephews

We're at 146 right now. A lot can change in four years, of course, but we're prepared to bust our butts with work to save for this wedding and properly host them all.

I am also having a hard time. I have a large family and was in a sorority and still close to so many of those girls! We want to keep it at 100 and the list is currently at 118 I don't want to count on people saying no. I just mailed save the dates today, but only to family and a few friends ( most will have to travel, that's why they went out early).

I would cut kids, extended family that you haven't seen/talked to in a while. I didn't give family members who had girlfriends/boyfriends I had never met before plus ones, personally because I don't think it's appropriate to meet them for the first time at my wedding where I will talk with them for maybe all of a couple of minutes. If you don't want to cut kids out entirely, cut family members or friends with kids you are not familiar with/have never met before (probably an unpopular opinion).

We are very close to adults only already (just the ones in the wedding party) and I don't really have anyone in the usual cut categories. This is normally something I like about my life, but I have a LOT of truly close friends and family, and I spend time with all of them (more than are currently on the list) very regularly. I'm just dreading the hurt feelings I know are going to happen. I love people, but my wallet wishes I didn't. ;-)

Thank goodness FH is an introvert, or I honestly don't know what we'd do.

And the plus ones I'm extending aren't for my benefit, but for my single guests. I've been a bridesmaid 13 times as a single person, and it sucks going to weddings solo. :-(

I'm in a similar boat. We are prepared financially to pay for about 200 guests but would love to get it below 150... Ha ha. His family alone is almost 100 people (immediate - mom has a lot of siblings and everyone has divorced and remarried.... 6 sets of grandparents. Let's just leave it at that). So there's probably no hope at this point because we both have 6 in our wedding party and they all have significant others... And of course singles all get plus ones. Just wow.

Long answer a bit shorter - YES I AM STRUGGLING TOO.

I agree. Cut kids or just hope people don't bring dates.

My original list of "if we had unlimited funds and could invite anyone" was at 306. My family alone was 117. That included all aunts/uncles/cousins and their kids. FH'S family is very small, about 20 with some of his dad's cousins/spouses (ffil is an only child). We decided to cut out all kids under 18, and only go as far as first cousins. I also cut out about 25 family members of mine that I haven't seen/talked to/had any sort or relationship with for years. We are now hovering around 185. It is SO stressful. I'm the person who never wants anyone to feel left out..BUT if we wanted to properly host people, we had to make the cuts. I hate it, but it's necessary.

We let the venue dictate. Our venue only fits 64, but that's with no dance floor.

We're trying to keep it around 25-40ish. I'm capping it at immediate family, aunts and uncles, a few cousins, some coworkers and friends and everyone gets a built in plus 1 if they're over 18.

So far so good.....

I only gave plus ones to siblings and those I knew were in serious relationships and/or living with someone. I don't want to pay for strangers to come.

When I cut my list down I really looked at the people and decided based on how often we see eachother or the last time we actually had a conversation. If the time was greater than 1-2 years i

I cut them. No kids and plus ones only to those in serious or I guess longterm relationships.

I'm surprised no one has said this already, but plus ones are only for single people. If someone is in a relationship or married, they are a social unit and both need to be invited. Plus ones are optional, but you need to invite couples as couples. OP, you are doing things the correct way and even going beyond that.

As far as plus ones, chances are 25-50% of your guests won't use them, but you can't count on that. We also had several couples we invited where only one person came. Again, not something you can count on. My best advice is to go through your list and ask yourself if you would buy that person dinner or drinks on a normal night. If you wouldn't, then cut them. Also if it's non family that you haven't talked to in over a year, cut them. Consider cutting kids that aren't immediate family or nieces and nephews.

My dad said it wouldn't be right to cut kids so since I already cut them but need to add them on both sides I'm really frustrated cause I only want 13 y/o plus going, not infants who may cry

We wanted 100 originally we are up to about 127 which i'm fine with but DH keeps adding to the list my portion of the list has not changed since the day i put it together lol I had to finally have a talk with him and let him know this is the final list no more adding people.

Any friend that I haven't spoken to since we've gotten engaged gets cut.

Family that I haven't spoken to or that I don't see often, or doesn't know the relationship between FH and I gets cut.

Family that has pissed me off gets cut.

No coworkers.

Could you limit the plus ones if the person knows a lot of people there? For example, my uncle isn't getting a plus one but all his siblings/family will be there. But my friend from work is getting a plus one because she won't know a lot of people.

Our original "max" was 75 guests...we're at 123! It's easy to grow the list once plus ones, families etc. come into the picture.

There are a few flowcharts I've seen that might help you make cuts

https://nyweddingco.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/guest-list-flow-chart.jpg

http://www.elliesanderson.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Guest-List-Flow-Chart-350x400.jpg