Guest List Guilt.....feels horrible :/

I would feel terrible too, and i'm sorry you had to go through that. I think you did the right thing by keeping as much as possible off facebook. Let us knnow how she replies.

I've had several people who arent going to be invited make comments and say rude things, i just laugh it off, ( thankfully we've usually been out at BBQ's / parties when this happens ) and sometimes i even get to pretend im too drunk to talk wedding stuff...seriously when is that EVER true?

One of our GMs has a 3 year old and when she saw our invitation she asked, "Can I come?" We love her to death but we only invited family kids. We both about died of guilt on the spot. Thankfully her parents are awesome and explained how some parties are just for grownups, kinda like only little kids are allowed in the jumpy castle at MyGym, and she was like, "Oh okay, wanna see my puzzle?" Crisis averted.

That sounds like a bad problem but I think you did the right thing. I don't think (or at least I don't know if) a perfect answer exists but it happened to me once when I was the one who was not invited to a wedding that I thought I should have been invited to. I was not hurt but the bug-monster is always there... so what they ended up doing was a nice solution: they invited us (my hubby and me) to dinner separately after the wedding and we had our little private time with them. We understood that their finances were tight and they could not invite everyone and them inviting us after the event was a nice "forgive us we still love you" kind of movement... try that. =) Good luck!

I like that idea a lot. Thanks for sharing

I've had that a couple times so far... I've been lucky enough to be able to get away with just not answering them, but I know sooner or later I'm going to have to let them know. Not looking forward to it. :/

I personally would never ask I didn't get invited for a reason.. Id suck it up but that me..

The after thing is a great idea, maybe you could even have a small dinner party/mini bbQ for those you didn't get to invite. Or a wine and dessert gathering. A come "celebrate our marriage" No gifts just join us for food and good times.

One of groomsmen and my fiance's best friend since he was five is going through a divorce, and his lovely wife thought it was alright to ask me, "soo I'm still invited to the wedding, right?"

My father is pastor and because we both have such large families we aren't able to invite a bunch of our friends or family friends and church members. So the solution we came up with is that we would have a pre wedding party in order to celebrate with those we love and adore but who couldn't come to the wedding. It's three days before the wedding, food is provided. It's sort of going to be a mini back yard reception, so that way they still feel like they get to celebrate with us. My aunts are so kindly footing the

bill for this party since we are not going to be in the state until the week of the wedding and they have been dying to throw the 'first married grandchild' on my fathers side a shower!

Now for those telling me they are bringing a date instead of asking if there is room (we even filled out the __ # of seats have been reserved for you portion of the rsvp), we are simply telling then that we would love to celebrate with them, and we will miss them if they choose not to attend, yet we are at capacity for our venue.

I haven't had anything like that happen yet but I know it's bound to. We aren't inviting certain people but not b/c we don't have the space/budget., it's b/c we simply don't want them there.

I have had it happen a lot. I just smile and let them know it's going to be a small intimate affair.

Another groom to be I know sent out an email to everyone at work. It read simply "You know I love you guys and I truly believe that you are family and instrumental in my development into the man I am. However, with finances we cannot invite everyone to the wedding and have to restrict the reception to family only. We do want to extend to everyone that they are welcome at the ceremony. Please don't be offended." It went over really well and I can't think of anyone that thought it was rude or wasn't understanding....

If I was doing a church wedding I would probably go the same route, but we are not so we are sticking with an "intimate" wedding with 125 guests (FIL's have a huge family compared to mine)

My cousins said "see you at the wedding" last time I saw them. I just hoped they meant my cousins wedding as she has planned hers 2 weeks before mine.

It's unbelievably rude to ask why you weren't invited to someone's wedding. I don't feel bad that there are people I can't invite. I just say, "Unfortunately because of our budget we weren't able to invite everyone we wanted to." Which is horseshit -- everyone I want there is gonna be there, haha. But it's a nice way to let someone down if they're rude enough to ask.

Just tell them it's going to be a small wedding, pretty much family. i have one girl I work with who keeps asking me if she's invited to the wedding. I keep telling her "no, I'm sorry, but it's just going to be pretty much family." That being said, I do like the backyard bbq thing after the fact.

I'm consistently amazed at the balls on some people. If I wasn't invited I would probably feel left out, but I definitely wouldn't say anything. I agree with Leanna. Just tell them your budget is limited and your reception is going to be a small, intimate event.

Ugh, so glad I don't have a Facebook. Though I guess it might be a good idea to tell people not to post photos of my wedding-related parties.

Im sorry that this has happened to you. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the same once I send out the std and invites. When some ask, I will share with them that unfortunately we are not able to afford a big wedding so we are only inviting a small limited number of people.

Try not to worry about Facebook stuff. People will post pictures of your celebration which it is. If you want you can block your pictures or set it up for everything to be approved by you before the pictures are posted.

Hope this helps.

I've had a few 'invitaion diggers' People who I'm not close to in any way randomly emailing me on FB asking to come to the wedding from the moment we switched our status to engaged. I've very politely told many people as much as we'd love you at our reception we've decided to keep it on a small and intimate scale with immediate family and few friends. This way they dont get offended. But then I also post at one point about how our venue only holds 90 people and there are 70 people in my immediate family hoping others would get the hint as well.

Ugh that is a sucky situation I am dreading! I mean telling some you are on a budget should be more than enough. I wouldn't get offended if someone is having a small wedding or needed to draw lines. I do however get offended when I am invited and not my FH. I would rather not be invited and will say no if that happens.

You handled that well. It is tacky to ask why you weren't invited. If anything at all, I might say oh ' I didn't know about it but I hope you had fun!' Just in case they didnt know you werent invited.