Guest List- Bride vs Mom

Thats up to your mom and dad as they are paying. The saying goes no pay no say. I would decline them paying the wedding then you have 100% control of your guest list.

If you dad is cool with paying for the extra people I wouldn't fight this. They will come you will interact with them for 2 minutes but your mom will be happy for longer. If this is her one and only request I would do it. If this will open up the door to future requests I would shut it down.

ETA: I get couples are supposed to pay for their weddings but honestly the whole decline the money line needs to be used in the right context. Either you invite them or you don't. If your parents will pull the money cause you don't then you look into paying for your own wedding. You can say no to your parents even if they are paying without it causing world war three. My mom is paying for my dress she doesn't get the final say because she is paying. I can tell her no and still accept her cash.

Unfortunately you really can't invite 2-3 of them and not the rest. That's rude. So it's either all or nothing.

I probably broke my mom's heart a couple times (in your words) because I told her no to some friends. But she honestly wasn't that heartbroken, and I'm sure your mom won't actually be either.

Agreed with Anthony. Since they are paying they can invite who they want--- it's their money.

I gave my Mom a seat allocation and told her to work it out from there.

If cost and number of seats is not an issue then let it go. Lose the battle to win the war. I'm sure there will be other things that will come up.

If you're not the one having to foot the bill for them to be there does it really matter? I mean if it would make your mom happy I'm not sure why you care

I mean...how many people are we talking?

20? 10? 6?

If it's only a few, I would let it slide. If it's more than like 5, I would say no.

I would talk to Dad and get better understanding. Is dad on your side because he is worried about cost. He needs to talk to your mom. Is he concerned he cannot get his cousins invited if all of your mom's friends come? Because if money and space not an issue, and these people are not disagreeable, I would let it go.

Are your parents married? Because if so, then it's your mom's money too, so she get a say and in this case, I say you have to invite. You can't invite only a few and not the rest.

Elizabeth, I would never get involved in how a married couple handles money. That is why I think OP should gently talk to dad. Usually people talk about dividing up invites between bride and groom side, but there may be an issue here.

@elizabeth my parents are very much married and have one bank account and I still say my mom is buying my dress. Honestly the wording is just a technicality I don't see why it needs to pointed out though.

Even though I get the "you pay you say" mentality, it can be kind of uncomfortable for the bride and groom to have a big group of people (not related to them) that they don't know that well.

I'm going through the same thing with my parents. We were battling for a while because I don't want them to pay for the reception, but my dad is insisting. My mom thinks she had free reign to plan anything she wants. I told her that it doesn't matter who's hosting the party, it would still look like a gift grab on my part to invite random people that I don't know that well.

So my dad is paying. My parents are divorced, and my mom is not contributing to the wedding.

Hmm yeah that's sticky when your parents are divorced. I'd talk to your dad about it, and if it's possible, then great! If not, then you'll have to tell Mom that it's not in the budget to invite all the ladies :-/

Is your dad letting your mom have any invites? Does she have siblings, etc? If you do not even like half of them, no they should not get invites. If your mom decides all or nothing, then it is nothing.

Keisha, it was pointed out in case the couple is divorced as it wasn't clear from the original post. If they're married, then parents get a say since they're paying and the OP said dad agrees with her. My point was just that mom's opinion needs to be considered too if they're married. So yeah, I think it was relevant to point out the wording.

Make her give you money upfront to cover them

We're contributing most of the money for DD's wedding. I am letting her take the lead on all the decisions and so should your parents (that's my take!) I don't think our parents had too many friends at our wedding and we knew them all anyway. DD told me, don't put people on your list for nostalgia sake. We cut the list in thirds and our list includes all the family. It is your day!

I understand wanting to make your mom happy but at the end of the day, this is your wedding. This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. When you look at the photos/video of your wedding you should be able to enjoy looking at all the faces in those photos, not have to try and remember their names or why they were there.

I'm having a small wedding as well under 100 guests and my partner and I came up with a rule: In order to be invited to our wedding, we both must have met the person and broken bread with with them.

DC, I think you have to be real careful about letting one parent pay for their guests. The other parent may end up thinking, wait a minute, I paid for most of the wedding and now other parent gets to invite more people? Not easy.