M
Just Said Yes April 2013

Guest list and proper way to say "limited seating"

Maritza , on February 8, 2013 at 5:41 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice

The children of a couple we have invited to our wedding called to congratulate us and "feel us out" for an invite. No response was given from my end and I am hoping that that was enough to send the message but just in case....

My seating is ultra limited. To make matters worse, we aren't friends with the children, just their parents.

How would you put it in your invitation or return cards, that it is for specific people only?

Limited Seating, Mr. & Mrs. ONLY, etc. Looking for ideas.

Or, do you call the guests and warn (such a strong word) that they are the only ones invited.

Or, should you do BOTH? Put it in writing and call...

Amazing how everyone is your friend once you mention you're getting married.

Thank you.

Frustrated Bride


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9 Comments

  • Carrie
    Master December 2011
    Carrie ·

    Address the invitation to those invited only.

    On your RSVP card add the follow line:

    " ___ seats have been reserved in your honor"

    Then fill in the blank with the # of people invited. In this case 2.

    Also the next time someone fishes for an invite try one of these:

    http://offbeatbride.com/2011/09/tell-people-theyre-not-invited-to-wedding

  • Leanna T.
    VIP March 2013
    Leanna T. ·

    I'm confused. People have to RSVP, right? When they do, if they're not invited, or if invited people add extra names, just call and politely explain. There are also ways you can word your RSVP card to make sure nobody tries anything. Mine said __ of __ will attend (with the second blank filled out) and I didn't have any trouble at all.

  • Debbie
    Devoted October 2013
    Debbie ·

    I am filling in the names myself. and i have 2 spots where i am putting exactly how many chairs are reserved for them. I am HOPING this is dummy proof....but we'll find out come september


  • M
    Just Said Yes April 2013
    Maritza ·

    Wow, excellent ladies. Thank you.

  • Rhonda
    Devoted March 2013
    Rhonda ·

    Maritza S. - I agree with all of the above...

    1. Include "____# of seats reserved in your honor" and write in the number.

    2. THEN... make sure you include ___ of ___ will be attending. And you write in the 2nd blank (which should be the same as #1).

    Also - we included a Guest Information Sheet which included additional details about the ceremony and reception (which by the way is adult only). On that sheet, I included a brief section of 5 Wedding FAQs. One of the questions read as follows:

    May I bring more people than the number of seats reserved in my honor to the Reception? No. Please restrict the attendees in your party to those listed on your RSVP Card. We wish we could accommodate all our friends and family, but it is simply impossible. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

  • Rhonda
    Devoted March 2013
    Rhonda ·

    PS - Also... start with word of mouth... tell your family and have FH start sharing with his family... this way you are proactively starting to set the expectation. By the time your guests receive the invites, they should be well aware of your wishes and are just receiving confirmation of what they already know.

    We did our best to "set the stage" with our guests and are STILL receiving DAILY issues with the RSVPs we receive... I am literally surprised and outraged at how people try to take YOUR day and make it about THEM and who THEY want to bring to YOUR wedding that YOU are paying for... Shut it down, lady... and have NO regrets about doing so!

  • Cassie
    Super June 2013
    Cassie ·

    If they are over the age of 18 then they would get their own invitation. Since you have limited seating, only address your invitation to the parents, and don't send the kids invitations. Yes, there is a chance they will call and wonder why they weren't invited, or they will RSVP with 4 instead of 2..that just means you need to make a phone call to say "We are really sorry, but we simply cannot invite everyone we want to due to a limited guest amount available to us. We hope you understand!"

  • krisalicious
    Master April 2012
    krisalicious ·

    Exactly what Cassie said.

    Don't make any mention of who is NOT invited. That's going to come across as rude. Simply be clear about who IS invited.

    And I would email/text or FB those people back. Say something like, "Thanks so much for your good wishes! Hope we get to see you after the wedding!" If they write back and ask about an invitation, just say, "Oh, thanks for your interest, our guest list is already made up and our space is limited, but I hope we can get together another time. And we really appreciate the good wishes. Take care."

    Here's what our RSVP looked like. We addressed the envelopes to each person in the household who WAS invited, including kids (kids 18+ got their own invitation), we wrote in those same names on the RSVP card, and filled in the number of seats reserved for them.


  • Rachel
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Rachel ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Hi Debbie, I know it's been a few years, but how did this work for you?

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