Guest gripe about black tie weddings

I would just use nice dresses. You don't have to rent dresses.

Thank you! It's like no one understands what wedding dress code really means. Everyone I know wants black tie and then when you show up it's more along the lines of semi-formal. It's infuriating spending so much time making sure your dressed appropriately when you could've just gone to TJ Maxx and bought a cocktail dress for $30. I found a floor length navy dress for a black tie wedding in April and will definitely be keeping it around for future weddings

Agree with others that you'll be much further ahead if you just buy a long "fancy" dress or two. Depending on where you live, keep an eye on Macy's sales in their formal wear dept. All through high school and college we'd hit the after-prom season or after-Christmas sales and would find gorgeous gowns for as little as $20 (and not "junior prom" teenage styles) for daughter. For daughter's wedding I found an excellent MOB option on sale for less than $20 (David's carried the EXACT same dress for $180 at the time...). We found different Macy's stores have very different stock depending on their demographic market, so if possible look for a big store in an upscale suburban area or shop online. The dress I ended up wearing as MOB was a gorgeous Calvin Klein formal gown -- it wasn't on clearance, but with coupons, etc., I paid about $100 when it was tagged at ~$240. I agree that FH can get away with a black/dark gray/navy suit. Personally, I think it's rude to claim an event is "black tie" when it CLEARLY is not actually a BT event with all that entails and it kind of makes the inviting couple look like they are either clueless or want people to look "extra" for their photos even though their wedding does not match that expectation.

I completely agree with Julie!

Based on the real standards of black tie, I have literally never been to a true Black Tie wedding. I didn't even think about the fact that they might want their wedding to look fancier in pictures. One couple told me they thought it would be "fun" to see their friends all dressed up, but I wish they had thought about whether or not it would be fun for the guests.

As I've been looking for bridesmaids dresses, I have seen awesome sample sales. I'm going to keep my eye out for a bargain!

Totally agree with this.

I've read too many posts on this forum from brides determined to tell their guests their wedding is "Black Tie" because they wanted them to be dressed up so the pictures looked good, but they were also dead set on a bbq buffet and a cash bar.... I agree about the potential benefits of an Emily Post-type guidelines resource, but there are also so many posts claiming those types of guidelines are "old-fashioned and irrelevant." Usually etiquette guidelines focus a lot on what's good/respectful of the guests' experience (just what you wished your friends have done!). Good luck finding an awesome black tie appropriate dress for all the non-black tie weddings you're attending!

I completely agree with you that there's a trend of people claiming that etiquette is "old fashioned and irrelevant" when it gets in the way of what they want to do and they don't consider that most etiquette rules are made for the comfort of those around us. It's a tough time to be a wedding guest! Maybe WW can write some articles to help turn the tides around on this one.