Groomsmen trouble....

I wouldn't pick someone as a back up just to pick them. Are you okay with having an uneven bridal party?

I kind of had the same issue. The BM was scheduled to go over seas 2 days after our wedding but his orders were changed and he now has to leave 2 days before. Luckily for us our bridal party was going to be uneven and now it's even. But... I definitely wouldn't pick someone just so it's even. I think I would be offended to know that I was a "back up".

I wouldn't replace the GM. If he can make it, great! There should still be enough time for him to get fitted.

If he can't make it, have uneven numbers. Quality over quantity.

I really don't want an uneven bridal party, for me it will throw everything off. The guy who we were thinking about using is a co-worker of mine, who is also close with FH, knows the situation and kind of in so many words offered to be back up if we needed. I just don't know if I should get them both fitted just in case?

How is having an uneven bridal party going to throw everything off? Two girls can walk with one guy when they leave, the guys can be up front with the groom, it's a really easy workaround.

If they won't lose any money getting fitted and that's what you really want, go for it. I still say quality over quantity.

How does your FH feel about this? These are his friends you're talking about.

We have both talked about it and are undecided on uneven or asking for back-up. It's a weird thing in me that doesnt want it to be uneven. Yeah, I get that it will be OK to do that, I just dont want to, but also dont want to ask a back up then the GM get granted leave.

Yeah I would ask your FH. He may not want a back up and then you will just have to deal because it's his wedding too of course . If he says yes he wants a back up, call the tux place and just ask what they suggest or can they get a tux for a guy the week of. Guys are different so the tux place can uusually do those things quickly.

If I were the guy in the Army, I would be a little offended if it were me that you asked me and had a replacement in mind already. I would be thinking "why'd you even ask me?" If he's a really close friend than I wouldn't ask the backup. Friends are friends not props that should be easily replaced. Just saying, people need to remember that the military being involved means uncertain schedules, so don't ask anyone in the military if you really have issues with uneven sides or people not making it to your wedding. Cuz it's never 100% even when they do get approved for leave that can be taken back last minute. DH's leave for our original date was rescinded 2 weeks before.

Your only real choice is to either have uneven numbers or tell the Army guy hes out. I wouldn't ask both to get fitted. That's just gonna be confusing and make it seem like they're just interchangeable and you don't care about them as long as you have one of them to fill the spot.

Actually, the military guy got married in September and he had a military guy as his BM and he couldn't make it so he had his back-up attend. He did this a week before his wedding. And believe me I understand about military, and the uncertainty about where they are going or when they are leaving. FH and I are going to talk about it tonight a little more and probably decide from there. Thanks!

I say do it if they volunteered! One of my BMs decided she couldn't do it, and I had a friend volunteer to take her place. As long as you know he won't be butt hurt about it then go for it. I'm with you on the even numbers thing....I'm weird. Ladies don't judge me! Lol. I want 6 of each so in pictures there is an even number on both sides.

Basically if they don't mind, then go for it! Just don't do it if you think you'll offend someone. It's not worth that.

Thank you Kaity D! The even numbers thing is totally my problem too!!

"The guy who we were thinking about using is a co-worker of mine, who is also close with FH, knows the situation and kind of in so many words offered to be back up if we needed."

He knows the situation and offered. Get him fitted for the tux. He can wear it as a GM if the other guy can't show up. If the original guy does show up, the co-worker can be a well-dressed usher.

Well, hopefully your original plan is still potential. Good luck girl.