Groomsman not cooperating

I probably would have just sent a reminder “remember to make sure you order the vest this weekend or it won’t come in on time”. Then it would be in his court. I feel like pre-emptively telling him he won’t be in the wedding if he doesn’t order it is just asking for drama.

View Quoted Comment

We have reminded him before this. He kept putting it off.

It seems like you already have your mind made up.

What’s your FH think about it?

View Quoted Comment

He's the one who told him he couldn't be a groomsmen if he didn't get his vest in time.

Just tell him if he doesn’t have it by the wedding he won’t be standing up as a groomsman.

His attire is his only responsibility really. I'd leave it alone if you already told him multiple times, if he doesn't have it by the day, he won't be a groomsman.

View Quoted Comment Ok, but he’s an adult and that’s his choice. In my opinion there was no need to stipulate to him that he can’t be a GM if he doesn’t get it because that’s just adding fuel to an unnecessary fire. Deal with it when the time comes if he doesn’t have it.

Has your fiance just plain asked him why he hasn't ordered it?

Don't preemptively threaten him. I would let him figure it out and if he can't then he won't be a GM on your day.

Im sorry. I understand your day is supposed to be perfect, but are and FH truly ok with possibly ending a relationship with him over a vest?

Yes, he is lazy. Yes, he screwed up. Yes, he shouldve shown you both respect and ordered it on time. And yes, if you had serious concerns then you shouldve done the ordering for him.

Is isnt an issue until October 20th. Give him the space to try to pull it together.

If he doesn't get his vest then he won't stand up at the wedding. That's the way I'm looking at it if our wedding party doesn't get what they need in time. Harsh, but we're all adults around here. You can only "remind" so much until it becomes that person's responsibility.

View Quoted Comment

That's what I'm trying to say. If he doesn't get his vest this weekend, there's no way he'll be able to have the vest ready in time for the wedding.

You could allow your FH to handle this. He can wothher give him a other reminder however if he doesn’t have the best for the wedding he isn’t in the wedding. I would handle that closer to the wedding then advising him of it now. I did research shipping from China to Texas and the Internet states it takes 3-6 days however it could take longer depending on customs. Since your wedding is 10-20 perhaps he has additional time or can pay rush fees. Just something to think of.

View Quoted Comment

Why? It literally has to arrive. You don't know if it'll need altering. And if it needs altering, he can figure it out. My best male friend sounds like he could be your groomsmen, but at the same time, when he orders his stuff late, he someone manages to scramble and get me or another friend to agree to sit with him and do the alterations on his stuff if needed. People who procrastinate as adults usually still do it because they find someway to figure their stuff out at the last minute. Is it infuriating to those of us who plan ahead? Obviously, but it is not an issue until the day of the wedding. Making it an issue now is just going to cause more problems then you think you are solving.

Is it possible that he can't afford it and doesnt know how to tell you?

Maybe he could borow one from someone if it is the same color

Looking back at this post it feels like you are looking for a reason to ding him than to help him!

If you know it has to be ordered by this weekened just order it for him. Dont shoot yourself in the foot to spite him.

View Quoted Comment

This! If it doesn't come in time, that's on him. Until then, send him one more reminder in a couple of weeks and let it go. He's an adult, he can take care of it, and if it's not there and altered by the wedding, that's 100% on him and he can attend as a guest.

I personally would just save myself the headache and order it myself. Then you don't have to worry about it

Is this an important person to your FH? I have to assume he is if he was asked to be in the wedding, so if that’s the case then why don’t you just order it for him?

There has to be something bigger going on here for him to have not ordered it yet, so I say, you and your FH should bite the bullet and just order it and your FH should tell him “hey, we just went ahead and ordered the vest. No rush on reimbursing us but it was $xx and should arrive to your house on xx. If you need to get it altered or anything let us know and we can help you out with getting that done.”

i would personally feel awful if my FH ended a relationship with someone over a vest and would want to do whatever I could to prevent that from happening.

Good luck!!