Groomsman is out

Just have uneven sides. It would be crazy inconsiderate to ask someone to be a backup, especially this late in the game.

Yeah don't replace him. The second choice groomsman is going to feel like, well, second choice.

Maybe try and make amends with FH ex SIL rather than replace him.

FHs friend turned into a dbag (or rather showed his true colors finally) and is not in our lives or the wedding anymore. We just have 1 less GM no need to replace them.

Definitely don't add someone else at this point, just have an uneven party.

I would be uneven. Personally I would get my feelings hurt if I was asked to be a BM this late in the game and wonder why I wasn't asked to begin with. Admittedly I over think things though.

Anyone you ask now is going to know that matching numbers is more important to you than the person in the role. Don't do it.

Just have uneven sides. Don't b-list your groomsmen. It's not very nice.

If someone was like " hey my friend blah blah just dropped out of my wedding will you take their place" how would you feel? Um noooo I don't want to be a b-list bridesmaid..

Honestly, j don't think guys/groomsmen care as much about this b-listing.

Eileen, it's still rude.

Everything seems rude around here.

Leave it as is. Uneven is fine. Inviting people to even out the body count at the last minute is rude.

And yes, guys do care about being plan b.

@Eileen, you can't speak for all guys. My husband would definitely be insulted if he were a "back-up" groomsman.

Anytime you're doing something for the sake of even numbers in photos you're treating someone like a second rate prop.

Not speaking for all guys. Every situation is different. What's with all the jamming of square pegs into round holes? And in general, you know guys care less about this etiquette stuff.

Once again you are generalizing me. No, I don't know that because everyone is different and men can care about etiquette just as much as women.

I would think throwing someone into the wedding party at the last minute to even out photos is the definition of square peg/round hole. Also I think your generalization is sexist.

Uh huh. I guess I am.

If they found it rude they can just say no. Grown men know to say no.

Yes they can just say no but they can also feel like they are being treated poorly and it can effect their relationship with the couple. Why do that?

Seriously Eileen? Do you not think that it would affect the friendship? That's really bad advice. It's a good way to lose a friend.