Groom's Sister & Bridesmaid Stress

As long as FH is okay with it, I would think it would be okay. Discuss it with him, but the only real duty she has is to buy a dress and stand next to you.

He is worried about how she will be as well. Is it terrible to not have her if I do not want her to be one of the ones standing by my side? The only reason she would be there would be out of obligation, not because we are friends. Her personality is such that she would make the wedding day more about herself. She's already made a few comments about "she has multiple weddings next year, so our potential date works well with her schedule". And it's just rubbed us (the FH as well) the wrong way already. And it's only been three days. ??

No, you do not have to ask her to be a bridemaid just to appease other people. You also don't owe an explanation either. Just select your bridal party 6-8 months before the wedding and make no further mention of it. If she wants to be apart of the wedding, she could always do a reading or pass out programs.

None of my FH sisters are in my BP. He was fine with it. The only reason my brother is his groomsman is because of my niece. She's 12 and we want her to walk with someone she trusts

Her only duty is to buys a dress first of all. I'm assuming since she's been in other weddings she knows how to fulfill her one and only "duty".

If FH wants her to be in the wedding then I would let her. Leave the decision up to him. I really wanted my brother to be apart of the wedding. Even though my FH and him aren't super close he didn't have an issue having him be a groomsman bc I wanted him to.

My SIL was not in the wedding. She had no reason to be as we are not close to her and she's crazy. Having her daughter was enough to drive me up the wall. If its going to cause stress, I say no.

I did not ask my FSIL to be a bridesmaid. She's much younger than me (16 vs 25) and I decided not to have her be in the BP. FH supported that decision 100%. We're going to have her walk in the processional with his mom and dad.

I don't know what duties your expecting of her but all she needs to do is buy a dress and show up. I personally think it's up to you and FH I have both of FHs sisters in my bridal party and he has my brother as well.

You can't have more than 72 hours to enjoy your engagement before the drama begins?? If you're expecting them to do more than buy a dress within their budget and show up on your wedding day, you have bigger problems coming.

You don't have to ask

I definitely don't expect them to do more than buy the dress and show up. But that's the problem... She was MIA at one of her previous friends weddings because of her illness. And during family get togethers, etc. she makes everything about herself. I'm not a crazy psycho, but on that day it should be about FH and myself. Not her causing drama.

As soon as you involve other people it is no longer about just you and FH.

I agree to that, but it still should not be about her drama. Past experiences with her and her at other weddings show me it will be.

If FH is okay with her not being a bridesmaid then I don't think you have to ask her to be one. I'm only having one of three of FH's sisters in my bridal party mainly because I don't want too huge of a bridal party and I'm only really close to her

1. Wait to ask anyone. You got time. Do you even have a venue and budget figured out yet? I know when we got engaged I was just excited. Best advice I can give is to give yourself at least a month to just breathe and take in this new amazing thing that happened.

2. You're not obligated to make her bridesmaid. Your bridesmaids should be the people who you feel close to.

3. There are no bridesmaid duties except getting the dress and showing up. Anything else is just extra that they may offer to do. And to that you should be very grateful for any parties, showers, or help offered to you. It is not required by any means.

4. If you want to have a small group do it. But don't do it so you won't hurt her feelings.

My FSIL is not going to be in our wedding. She stopped talking to us for awhile, and suddenly wanted to come to the wedding weeks ago. There is no rule that says your FSIL has to be in your wedding. However, since your wedding isn't for almost 2 years, I wouldn't make any rash decision on your bridal party right this second. A lot can change in 2 years. When people bring up the subject, just tell them that it is so far off and you really haven't given it much thought yet.

I had my SIL in the wedding because I felt like I should and I wish I hadn't. I realize now I should only have picked who I really wanted and now who I felt I was supposed to have. No matter what you do though, it's way too early to pick your BP. Wait until at MOST 9 months out. There are just way too many examples of people picking sooner and it ending poorly. I even waited until like 10 months and had I waited until 8 months out it would have saved me a mountain of trouble.

My wedding is next May (11 months), not two years out. So I'll probably wait until Sept to pick everything! Thanks for the advice!

Neither of my FSIL are in our wedding... we are not close at all.

You do not have to ask. This is your day and you should never have to choose someone to be a bridesmaid just to please others.