Grooms Parents pay for?

My FHs mom didnt pay for anything. These rules are really old fashioned. I think "traditionally" they pay for bouquets and rehearsal dinner, but that is an outdated concept.

There are benefits -- big ones -- to paying for your own wedding; the most important is that YOU call the shots. Don't want a church wedding, but the parents paying for the wedding are insistent on a religious ceremony? Guess where you're getting married? Don't want a banquet hall because you love the idea of a rustic barn setting? If the benefactors turn up their noses at your vision, you're going to be heavily pressured to go the conventional route.

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Not every generous parent is that controlling, but plenty are. We read the threads from their adult children pretty regularly around here.

We paid for the whole wedding ourselves. My aunt/ uncle gave me 1/2 of my wedding dress. His parents offered to give us $ and we declined. We ended up getting that $ as a wedding gift

There are traditional things that the groom's family pays for, rehearsal dinner, marriage license... you can find a list online so you have an idea if they offer. But as others said, they have to offer to do it. We are paying for our own wedding. My mom offered to pay for photography and his mom offered to get a groom's cake. That's all I have heard of it so far, and frankly I don't know if even those contributions will ever happen, so we're not counting on it.

My family did pay for and host my brother's rehearsal dinner.

They pay what they offer. But don't be afraid to drop hints.

Have your FH say things like "we want a photographer but we don't know if it is in the budget" or "it is so tempting to just elope". Family will offer to help out but not feel pressured and since it is the honest truth you guys won't feel like the bad guys (or even like you are asking for help).

If even that feels too much then at least have him respond to any suggestions they have with something along the lines of "I don't know if that is in the budget".

EDIT: Important Note, have him say things like this. Otherwise it can make them worry about you. Just like how you should be the one in charge of talking to your side.

Whatever they offer. Paying for the wedding is your responsibility, unless someone graciously offers to help.

ETA: Don't listen to PP. That's flat out manipulative and entitled.

We are paying everything ourselves. We set our date far enough in advance so that money would not be an issue.

Seriously? "Drop hints" to the parents? To know that you're saying things like, "it's so tempting to elope" or "we want a photographer but we don't know if it's in our budget" is manipulation -- pure and simple. Parents will offer to pay if they can and want to. Geez, leave them alone with the heavy handed hints and requests. It's 2017.

Many people in this world aren't fortunate enough to have parents and in-laws. Just saying.

Nothing. You're responsible for paying for your own damn wedding. If someone offers you money for the wedding then you use accordingly but you need to realize this is your wedding and you alone are responsible for picking up the tab on EVERYTHING.

Don't take Will's advice to drop hints. How annoying. If they don't offer, they're not paying for anything.

You and your partner pay. If your FH's parents offer to help at all they decide for what and how much.

Excellent point, Elizabeth. From my best friend to our clients, a missing parent is always a wound the bride/groom bears bravely. My best friend in the world would have cancelled her entire wedding and still paid for the entire cost associated with it, if only her mom, a lady that passed unexpectedly at 44 years of age, could have been there for 15 minutes. Of that, I have absolutely no doubt.

I dont think theres a rule as to what they pay for, but my future in laws paid for our honeymoon and they are paying for the rehearsal dinner

We are lucky enough to have FH parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, DJ and transportation. However this was completely unprompted and we are very grateful for the help. I would not drop "hints"- I think that's odd.

We jumped into wedding planning expecting to pay for it all ourselves, but my future in laws offered the equivalent to half our venue. However, these days I feel like there's no tradition when it comes to who pays for what. I know a lot of people who pay for the wedding themselves.

I have never heard of that. I had heard groom's parents pay for rehearsal dinner but we did not ask for anyone to pay anything. My parents originally said they would pay for everything. But we wanted to pay for things as well and did not want all of that on my parents and I ended up wanting to invite more people than my parents were going to include. FH parents have not offered to pay for anything but they are not financially stable for day to day life much less offering to pay for any part of the wedding and that is fine with us. My nanny and papa offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and FH grandpa said he wanted to help with that as well so our grandparents are the host that night. Things today are not like things in the past. My mama can be old fashion and that is why she said her and my dad would foot the bill. But I explained as much as it was appreciated that I did not want to put either of them into any type of financial strain.

We went into wedding planning with the expectation that we'd be paying 100% for everything. My parents did graciously gift us money. His parents are unfortunately deceased but his aunt and uncle also offered to host our rehearsal dinner, which we weren't expecting. They also bought fh's suit and are buying us toasting glasses and the glass we'll be breaking at our ceremony. All of this was offered though. Don't plan your wedding with the expectation of someone else's money.

If they offer they pay. We're paying for everything ourselves.

You guys plan to pay for EVERYTHING yourselves. If anyone offers to pay for anything, fabulous. If not, you go on saving up and planning to pay for everything yourselves. You have an timeline that allows you to save up how much you need in order to have the wedding you want and can properly host.