Groom wants to pre-approve dress

I love dresses and wear them as often as possible. My fiancé would never question my dress choices. It sounds a little controlling for your fiancé to want to approve it and say it better be nice, like you would choose something hideous. Maybe he had good intentions behind it and just didn’t say it right?

My FH wants zero details about my dress lol. Basically all he knows is that it's a dress & that its ivory!

Prior to shopping we discussed if he was the one picking out my dress what would he want to see me in but ultimately he said he just wanted me to wear what I felt beautiful in and what I loved.

Maybe discuss with him what he envisions you in on the big day?

That's kind of weird to me. FH didnt want to see or hear any details about my dress. He wants to stand out from his groomsmen and was going to wear a white vest and tie and I said that would be weird because I'm in ivory. So he only knows the color. But, I did show him the pictures of me, in my rejected dresses and he just wowed the whole time lol. So if he liked the rejected dresses, I know he'll love my yes dress!
It does sound a bit controlling, but maybe you can show him all the dresses you tried on, but not say which one you chose?

Like PPs, my fiancé didn’t wanna know anything about my dress. I can assume he imagines what it looks like cuz he knows what I prefer, but he didn’t even wanna see me in the dresses that I didn’t pick. I think that’s a bit controlling on his end, especially since (generally) grooms don’t see dresses till the day of. And even if he pre-approved a dress you loved in pictures, there’s no guarantee you’ll actually like it on yourself, so what is the point?

Hmm no this seems odd to me.

My fiance hasn't said that. But we both agreed neither of us likes certain styles, but I know he trusts my dress choice and will love it regardless

I think that sounds very controlling. If my husband had asked to pre-approve my dress, I would have told him hell no. My husband only knew it was white. Otherwise, he had no clue what my dress looked like.

That comes across a little controlling, but that may not have been how he meant it, you know him better than we do obviously.

Even though it is KILLING my FH not to know what my dress looks like, he absolutely doesn't want to see it until the day of.

Maybe he just meant that he's anticipating a certain style that he's envisioned you in (ballgown, mermaid, white vs. ivory). Hopefully it wasn't meant the way it sounds.

Nope, my FH doesn't want to know a thing about what I am wearing, he wouldn't even let me tell him what shoes I'm wearing!

Hopefully your FH was just being a little over-excited rather than trying to control your dress choice. One thing I did do was to show my FH a scrapbook of wedding dresses I liked before I went anywhere near dress shopping just so that I could gauge his reaction and get an idea of what sort of gown he would like to see me in, as while it was ultimately my choice it was useful to me to have an insight into his preferences. Maybe you could do something like that with your FH but on the understanding that it is a general opinion only and he in no way get to choose or pre-approve your actual dress if that's not what you want!

If my future husband gave me that nonsense, I’d nope right out of that marriage.

Nope.

Before I went shopping, when I was in the Pinterest-only part of wedding dress browsing, I'd show my FH some styles that I was thinking of and would debate aloud about the things I liked/didn't like. He'd always just say that I'd look beautiful no matter what.

Now that I've purchased my dress, he doesn't want any details and is super excited to see it on our wedding day since he knows how happy I am with it. Normally he's all about spoiling surprises and telling secrets, but not this time lol.

My husband didn't say that. And I tried to show him, I'm just impatient lol I'm super happy he didn't see it ahead of time. I'd just maybe go over a few dress styles before hand and see if he has a preference.

Just based on your very short post, this does not sound healthy at all!!! My wife would never demand to see what I'm wearing first because she trusts me and my style choices. The only thing she's ever asked is the level of dress so she "looks like we belong together". What really concerns me is the comment "It better be nice". That is an extremely controlling statement. I urge you to take some time to review your relationship with a critical mind. Maybe the few words you used do not properly represent the situation, but only you can determine if this is healthy or dangerous. Now is the time to decide that.

Hey there!
I'm an older bride and very traditional in that the dress is my choice alone.
He will see me at the top of the aisle.
He knows me, he loves me and he knows I have "my" own flair, it's just who I am, and thankfully he trusts me and rolls with me.

If I were you, I'd say Thanks for your input, it will not be needed this time
Seriously, I'd put my foot down.
You've got this!

He's marrying you.... not a dress.
If I walked down in a potato sack, my fiancee would be ok with it ha ha .

Good luck. Hopefully, he doesn't try to control all aspects of your life together.
That's a little worrisome to me.
Hugs to you!

Ps if you need to vent, or a shoulder...just know im here
Seriously, I may not have all the answers, but I will listen.
Take care!

Does he provide input on most of your clothes? because maybe this is just normal for you guys?
As someone whose fiancée would never say something like that, I do find it strange. That being said, maybe it's the norm for you guys and no big deal.

Can you reach a compromise where he shows you photos of dresses online that he likes/hates? Maybe that will give you a better idea of what he's hoping you wear. He probably just has a vision in his head of how he imagines you looking, but realistically when the day comes he will probably just think you look amazing and not overanalyze the dress.

I think you can compromise with your FH. Before I even went and tried on dresses, I should my FH some styles and got his opinion.. not that he really had one, haha.. but it was more for my own piece of mind and because I really didn't have anyone else to get feedback from. Maybe just have an open conversation with you FH and get a feel for what he is envisioning.. some spouses are more involved in planning and details than others.

No... First off, it's your choice. You're a grown adult and do not need to pass your clothing choices through hi,. Secondly, does he know it's bad luck to see the dress before the wedding? I'd shut this down REAL fast.

To be polite, it sounds weird that he'd want to see the dress and that it "better be nice". Picking out a dress is the bride's concern, not the grooms. I did a first look with my groom, so he saw my dress before our ceremony, but I didn't give him any details about my dress other than: "Don't hate me for it being so big", essentially -- in a teasing way and he knew it was ivory so his tux could be ivory too. My dress was floofy and had a decent little train and I'm 4'10. If you can't even pick out your dress for your wedding without his input, I'd consider a lot of things -- it seems awfully controlling. Even if you were to sit down and ask what he envisions or go over some dress ideas with him, it doesn't mean you'll like the dress on yourself (echoing PP's).

Being a little harsh, here... if he can't trust you to pick out a dress like an adult and he's going to have an issue over the look rather than being so happy marrying you -- I'd be concerned. I'd honestly be double thinking even wanting a marriage or if it'd be worth the headache to go through with it, if he's going to get hung up on such a detail or has the possibility to. It's a dress, you are what is important.

It's a little odd for sure. DH didn't want to see my dress in any way prior to our wedding. He just reminded me to be modest as it's something that I struggle with (we are from a conservative religion). Even so he didn't want to see or approve it.