Groom refusing to wear a suit, even with compromise he wants to wear jeans.

Two words. Couples counseling.

Well, if you don't know if you really love him, you may want to put the wedding on hold. This sounds way bigger than a suit.

I agree with you. One of my dear friends and her husband are kinda hippie so he wore a dress shirt, shorts, and suspenders and she wore a vintage dress with her regular chuck Taylor’s...but they both wanted that. If your FH is unwilling to compromise, I *highly* recommend couples counseling or marital counseling. Especially if you’re going all the compromising whereas he gets to do whatever he wants. if you bend to all his wants now and tolerate his complete disregard for your wants, it’s only going to set the tone for your marriage and there are a lot bigger issues (than formalwear vs jeans at a wedding) that he may be unwilling to compromise later on.

I can see how that could be frustrating, I wouldn't want FH to wear jeans either. But it's not "my" wedding day, it's OUR wedding day.

If he's not comfortable dressing up, he shouldn't be forced to. Then again, if you're not comfortable with him wearing jeans, that's not fair, either. Everyone should be comfortable and happy on their wedding day. This sounds like a compatibility issue...

I would insist on counseling. It helps you guys learn how to "fight" and understand each other better. It can really make your arguments go smoother and help him see things from your perspective.

But as the others have said, if you guys are having this big of a fight over such a trivial issue, there are deeper issues at hand... I would recommend postponing the wedding until you're sure you are in a relationship where there's mutual respect and love. Especially if he refuses the counseling; that would be a definite sign of what you'll be dealing with the rest of your life.

@Emily I read it as " I just don't know, I really love him...etc"...not that OP was saying she didn't love him, but was just saying I don't know what to do and I do love him.

My FH is wearing jeans because that's what he's comfortable in. I don't mind because he's always wearing jeans when I picture him in my mind.

I agree with PP's that this issue is much bigger than the jeans though.

I feel like the bigger issue is that he knows that it is a special day, knows how strongly you feel about this, and doesn't seem to give a crap. He obviously doesn't care about the wedding to go from formal to jeans and JoP. You need counseling to get at tge deeper issue and find out if he will be able to take your needs and desires as seriously as his own in marriage.

That doesn't sound like a compromise. A compromise would be no jacket but slacks and a dress shirt (maybe vest too). You have to meet somewhere in the middle with things (wedding attire aside) or it's going to be a hard life.

I agree with others about counseling. You need to learn how to communicate.

However, jeans are so not appropriate attire for a wedding.

Can he wear black or khaki colored jeans? Then he might feel comfortable, but will look more like what your vision is.

Why can't he wear khakis?

He agreed to couples counseling, I was shocked when he said yes but I'll take it. Going to set up an appointment for this week if possible. Thanks everyone I did not think about counseling, but I do think that it would work for us.

@Jordana O

I asked him about khakis, linen, dress pants an all were a I'm not comfortable in them.

This is will what I'll be wearing.

Your dress is gorgeous!!! No way in hell he should be wearing jeans next to you.

.... you don't know if you really love him? Don't get married then. Love is kind of a "must have" in a marriage.

I'd agree he's being a nudge about now wearing formal wear, but to say you don't know if you love your FI?

@BlushingWedding

I did not say that "I really don't love him" or that I'm unsure about my love to him.

It's just one day for him not to wear jeans though. What's the big deal?! That's not fair. You are definitely doing all the compromising. I'm sorry you're going through this. I have seen rustic themed weddings where the groom wears jeans and it goes with the theme. However, the fact that he's acting like it's my way or we're not getting married bothers me

@Kristin

It is our wedding day that is why I've compromised on the ceremony an even dressing down for him. I'm just not getting that in return from him.