Grass Warning! How to tell guests not to wear pointy shoes on the website?

View Quoted Comment Haha, at least you didn't have the issue of not having enough pairs! 😂 Since it sounds like not a whole lot of people end up using them, I'll probably gather up 5-10 pairs in various sizes and call it good. I think the flip-flops along with the heel stoppers will be enough. Thanks for the idea!!

If you want your guests to be in black tie, wouldn't most of the ladies be in heels and fancy long dresses, neither of which is ideal for grass? You're providing a venue that makes black tie difficult while requesting black tie


I'd put on the site that you're providing heel stoppers, but you may want to rethink your requested dress code.

If I received an invitation to a black tie optional wedding, then I would DEFINITELY be bringing out my high heels in full force. For most women, black tie optional automatically means wearing heels. I think your best solution would be to provide heel protectors to all of your female guests. They can be ordered cheaply in bulk, packaged nicely with some cute tulle and ribbon, and handed out upon arrival at your venue

View Quoted Comment Was going to suggest this! It would be helpful incase anyone misses the memo or wants to wear heels anyway.

Two thoughts:
1) I don't think it's offensive to specify attire on the website unless you are specifically telling people not to wear certain things. Your invites, venue etc. should give people an idea of the formality of the event, but that's not always the case, and sometimes people are dense. I think it's an often unnecessary detail unless you are having a true black tie wedding, but if you want to put it on the website go ahead.
2) That being said, I don't think you are having a black tie optional wedding if the ceremony and/or reception is on grass. My understanding is that black tie is more formal than that, and even if you say optional, people will feel like they have to dress up. I think cocktail/Sunday best is more in line with the event it sounds like you're having. Black tie optional definitely implies high heels.

If you have an FAQ section on your site (which I would definitely recommend), you can put it there. This is what we have on ours:

2. Where are the ceremony and reception taking place?

Both the ceremony and reception will take place at Avila Bay Athletic Club & Spa, outside in the garden.

It's not super in your face about it, but still lets the guests know that it will be in a garden setting so plan appropriately.

We have an FAQ section on our website and I kept the questions phrased pretty casually. One of them is "Is the wedding outside?" I didn't specifically say that the ceremony will be held in the grass but you could do so. If you're having trouble thinking of other things to put in a question section, I stole some from other people's websites and mine are:

Is there a hotel? (answer also includes shuttle info)

What's the parking situation?

What should I wear?

Can I bring my kids?

Is it open bar?

Basically I imagined... what are people going to text me asking two days before?

I personally would either put it where I am putting the attire or where the venue page. For the venue outside though black tie doesn't seem right, I think maybe formal or cocktail would work. You should definitely list it and make it clear because unfortunately people are going to bombard you with what they should wear if you don't, some still might even when you put it but at least that way it is on there and less people will bug you about it.

For the grass thing just state it will be on grass and maybe include a link to those heel stopper things that you can put on the bottom of heels? Or if they are cheap enough just buy some and provide them just in case

Under the faq page when I answered the question of if the wedding would be indoors or outdoors, I put outdoors and then a little disclaimer to purchase heel protectors for pointy heels and a link on Amazon.

Our ceremony will be outside on a golf course so I addressed it on the "FAQs" page on the website:

Will the ceremony and reception be indoors or outdoors?

The ceremony will be outdoors, with the seating being on a golf course, so plan your shoes accordingly! The reception will be indoors, but feel free to get some fresh air out on the deck!

As a guest, I would be very confused to be invited to a black tie optional wedding and then later be informed that the ceremony will take place on the grass. I'd change your attire to cocktail attire IMO

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this 100%

Our wedding is at a castle and most of the evening takes place on the oceanside lawn. I put a section in our FAQ as follows:
—Where the ceremony and the reception be outdoors or indoors? The ceremony will be outdoors on the ocean lawn (weather permitting). The cocktail hour will be inside the castle, and the reception will be outdoors on the ocean lawn under a tent. As much of the evening takes place on grass, you may want to consider wearing shoes with a thicker or block heel.—

You may be married by now, didn't do the math. But I came here because I had the same question. Now after reading the comments and tips, I'm gonna do me. Clear tent, five courses, and mad grass...idc anymore. Not sure why it has to be a matter of "intelligent" guests or treating guests like children, if you want people to be in tails to go on a hayride because that's the look you want, you'd better damn well let them know, and as adults they can choose to oblige or not - just tell your photog to keep them out of the good shots. Maybe people are bingeing "The Crown" too much and think all these "rules" are reality. My absolute favorite black-tie event was at Chip Wilson's house (founder of Lululemon) and his annual Flip Flop Soiree - literally everyone in gowns and tuxedos sipping top shelf, eating lamb lollis while *gasp* wearing flippy flops!!! Do you boo - MAZEL!