Grandparents not coming:(

Thank you @jenny. I'm trying to be understanding of his point of view, but it's hard when he's my best friend I want him to care, and sometimes I wish he just knew the right words to say to me

I'm sorry your grandparents are ill but try to enjoy that they are alive still. I only have 1 grandmother left and she is not well in a nursing home. She will hopefully be able to attend the ceremony but won't be able to attend the ceremony. Maybe try to spend time with them before the wedding talking. About it and then show lots of pictures after. Enjoy having them here because a lot of people don't.

I'm so sorry. I spent today at my beloved Nana's funeral. I was hoping she'd make it til our wedding. ... she was ill and in a nursing home, but we were planning to stop by after the wedding so she could see my dress, and I was planning to give her my bouquet. But things don't always go the way you hope they will. I'm sure nothing would make your grandparents happier than to attend your wedding, but maybe there is a way you can include them? Like arrange to Skype them at some point during the celebration, or something like that. I hope their health improves, and maybe they'll get to come after all.

@Kristina I'm so sorry for your loss.

I used to volunteer at a nursing home fairly often and one day I saw someone bring in a wedding tape for their grandma to watch. She couldn't make it to the wedding due to health reasons but she really appreciated the tape. Maybe this is something you could do?

I'm with Jenny. My grandmother (mom's side) lived with us from the time I was very young and practically raised us, and shielded us from our mom when dad was at work. My brother and I were extremely attached to her. She passed 14 years ago this coming Christmas, and it hasn't honestly gotten any easier. I wish every single day she were here to talk to or spend time with or show wedding stuff too. I hate she never met her awesome grandson, or DF. It kills me that she won't be at our wedding.

I think about her often. Hell, I TALK to her often! But it's so incredibly hard to speak about her to anyone else Exocet my brother, because it is such a huge reminder of the gaping hole she left when she passed.

I can only guess he hurts, and doesn't know how to help you, too. Can you give him some guidance, tell him what you need from him? I know when DF's grandma died, I had no idea what to say or do, because I remembered how much the usual "I'm sorry"s frustrated or angered me.

Thank you guys for the support I truly appreciate it

We were planning our wedding for September 2017 but we had to move it up because my grandma has alzheimers and she is getting worse, and we wanted her to be able to come and at least function. She probably won't remember much, but ik how special grandparents are. <3

I'm so sorry for your situation

I have a very small family, so I had never lost anyone close to me until my grandma passed two years ago. I still get sad when I realize she won't be there, and a lot of the wedding planning is hard. Maybe your FH just doesn't process his feelings the same way, or doesn't show emotions regarding these things? Or maybe he just doesn't know what to do or say, because this is a new experience, so he's acting like he doesn't care? Not trying to play devils advocate, since I certainly don't know either of you. Just a thought, since I know emotional situations for my loved ones are sometimes hard for me to deal with too.

Sorry that they can't make it. It sucks, I know.

FH has all his grandparents. I have one, who has severe dementia and I'd bet $100 by next year at the wedding she won't even know who I/we are.

Broke my heart when she looked at me all confused when I told her about the engagement. Then she asked who it was to. We've been together 9 years.

I'd almost rather her not even be there, than to be there and not know who I am.

So I get you. Because FH totally just doesn't get it when I get upset after holidays or seeing my grandma. He always says " she's having a good day" and I'm like "really, did we just see the same person?" He's totally bad at being empathetic but oh well. That's what my cousins are for.

None of my grandparents are living anymore and neither are fiances. It is tough because unfortunately, loved ones passing away occurred quite often in my family. Almost every 3 years someone passes away: all my grandparents every 3 years, then my aunt (dad's sister) was murdered and now my aunt (mom's side) has stage 4 lung cancer and we have lots of scares in the past few weeks.

Your FH should be more supportive and caring. These are really important qualities in a spouse.

My fiance is 100% supportive in all my needs and my feelings when it comes to this. He tells me we should visit my aunt, asks how she is doing and shows support and care. I appreciate that a lot.

I'm so sorry to hear this My grandma who I was especially close to passed away in August of last year, two days after my younger sister got married. It hurts so bad knowing the one person you wish could be at the wedding won't be there. Like @mna I also talk to her a lot. Her husband passed away about 20 years before she did and she would go to bed at night and talking to him, letting him know how the family is and all that, so I do the same. She's not here, but she's kind of still here. It's hard.

My FH only has one set of his grandparents left and they aren't particularity close. They live across the country, so they only saw them for like two weeks out of the year growing up. He never had the kind of connection that I was able to have. He didn't understand the connection, but he was very supportive when she passed away. Mostly he just gave me a shoulder to cry on, which was what I needed.

Sometimes there aren't any right words to say. Sometimes I've had to tell my FH that I don't really understand, or can't fully comprehend how I'm feeling at the moment, because losing someone you are close to is just difficult. I just told him I needed to know that he was there for me when I needed him.

I'm sorry for what you are going through and I hope they feel better soon. I'm sending hugs your way.

I'm so sorry to hear that they won't make it! its hard. I've lost all of my grandparents. My last grandmother died 2 years ago and its so hard not having any of them here for the wedding. I don't know how many times I've cried during this planning stage knowing they won't be there. What makes me happy though is she got to meet my FH while we were still dating before she passed.

He may not know what to say and doesn't want to make it worse. I know my FH does that sometimes. Just know they will be there in spirit. Sending hugs and good thoughts!