Grandmother — To invite or not invite — that is the question!

Sit down with your parents and discuss it with them, your wedding day is YOUR wedding day and it should be the way you want it.

That said, purposly adding stress to the issue is not the best idea, if you can sort it out with your parents so that they will not be at issue with the decission you can then make an informed decision as opposed to flaining about in the dark. You will also have settled the issue in your mind one way or the other so the follow up guilt will not be an issue.

My mom and her oldest sister are not speaking to each other. It's really quite ridiculous. I'm very ashamed of both of them honestly for their immature behavior. This happens to be my favorite aunt and she doesn't even know yet that I'm engaged. But next time I'm in town I plan to stop and see her. I will be inviting her to my wedding and leave it up to her if she wants to come or not. I don't worry about any drama at my wedding b/c they know I don't play that. And if she does come, I just won't put them at the same table.

How is your relationship with her? That is the main question. Once you are able to answer that, the decision is up to you. I am sure your parents can put aside their feelings for one day, if it is really important to you.

I have brought it up with them and they tell me over and over again...it is your day, you do what you want. We will be fine either way. Which in the end doesn't really help me make a decision. And deep down I feel like my mom would want her mom there, and my dad wouldn't want her there...so i am so torn!

Although at one point my mom said she was fine with me not inviting her since she almost didn't come and in a way ruined my mom's wedding years ago...she said I would not want her ruining your wedding day too.

I still feel like there is a part of her that would like her there and i think it is the same part of me that wants her there. Probably the same part of my dad that made him pick up the phone and call her.

I would ask your parents what they want. Unless you are very close to her and would regret her not being there. My dad's parents are still alive, but I've maybe spoken to them 10 times in my entire lifetime, so I never even thought about inviting them. I know it's a tricky subject, but I've experienced so many deaths and life really is too short. People should suck it up and get along, but we all know it doesn't always work that way!

I think that the decison should be up to you. Speak to your parents about it, but the real question comes down to: Will you regret her not being there? I WISH that my grandparents could come to my wedding. Just think about what you want, and after you do so bring it up to your parents. They should be understanding if you would like your grandmother to come.

Thanks everyone for your imput. Such a tricky thing. Our relationship through the years has been ok although since my parents stopped talking to her, I haven't spoken with her much either. I was unhappy with the way she treated my parents so I felt I needed to stand behind them. But life is short and I am not the type of person to push people out of my life for any reason so it does bother me. But I want my parents to be comfortable and happy at my wedding. I will have to think about this one some more.