Gifts for parents when one set of parents has paid more?

I'm sorry, but I think that's such a jerk move it shouldn't matter the amount of monies spent both sets of parents are helping both should get gifts that are meaningful to them one should not outdo the other. just be thankful you have parents who are helping you financially with your wedding because like many others as well as myself do not!

And food for thought: I think parents should get a gift just for being supportive parents to you and your FI not just because they thew money your way to make your big day everything you wanted.

So parents who spend a lot of time and money on the wedding shouldn't have any more of a thank you for their support? I'm confused. We are getting gifts for all parents, but I don't think it's inappropriate to gift something of greater value to parents who really went above and beyond to make the event happen.

I do not agree. FH parents aren't paying for anything but I still put them on the invitation and will be giving them a nice gift.

Yes, get your parents something extra nice. Just get his parents whatever, I mean something nice but not extra nice. If they wanted extra nice prizes they should have paid for more. (Insert sarcasm and eyeroll)

Get ALL of them something meaningful.

I'm having this same issue and so many rude comments above! I completely understand ur frustration of ur family paying for a lot and in laws hardly paying anything! My family can't afford it and his def could! So I'm prolly doing an extra nice gift for my mom and something simple for the in-laws. No it's not about money for the wedding but it's about being there and being a family and helping each other out. And if one side does more than the other they should def be rewarded since they didn't need to step up that much!

For the folks who actually offered substantive/helpful comments (especially Iyla, you had great suggestions), thank you so much!

For all the folks who offered nothing beyond rude and catty comments about what a horrible person I am, what kind of person does it make you to be a jerk to someone who's asking for your help/advice?

Katie, I agree with you -- it's not about "rewarding" my parents or giving them a "return on their investment", but just acknowledging them for contributing so much when they didn't have to contribute anything. Given that it's considered appropriate to give the MOH something extra lavish because she's helped out by planning your bachelorette/bridal shower, I don't think it's ridiculous to ask whether to do something extra for my parents because they've helped out so much. The whole reason I was asking is because I wasn't sure what the right thing to do was.

Anyway, we're going to do similar gifts for both sets of parents with the appropriate personalization, as several folks have suggested, and then doing the individual thank-yous at the RD/reception as Iyla suggested. Thanks!

My parents are paying for my whole wedding, and we're not really getting them anything of monetary value. We're writing each set of parents a thoughtful card, and buying them frames to put a wedding picture in. We may also take them to dinner when we're back from our honeymoon.

Eww. Do you feel like they love you more than FS parents love their child too? How does FS feel about you deciding his/her parents are less meaningful than yours based on monetary contributions? Disgusting mentality.

Treat your parents equally. You don't have to give them their gifts together, but it's really gross to consider spending more on your parents just because they were able to help you out more with wedding costs.

@lyla I love those ideas and I've thought about doing something similar. My parents are paying for 2/3 of the wedding and are not into personalized mementos at all (nor am I honestly, but FILs would probably like something along the lines of some other gift ideas mentioned). For my parents I'll probably take the experiential gift route.

My parents paid for the wedding. FH's parents made the trip from another country and that was gift enough. We got them the same ($ value gifts). It's a gift for raising you not for how much they spent on you. We got both our dads engraved pocket knives and our moms jewelry - a gold monogram necklace my mom had been wanting and dangly pearl earrings for his mom. We gave them to each set of parents privately the day after with a nice letter from each of us thanking them.

You're totally misunderstanding the point of the gift. You're not buying them a gift for financially supporting the wedding. That's crazy. You're buying a gift to thank them for, you know, giving you life, putting a roof over your head and food in your stomach, raising you to be the adult you are. THAT is the point of the gift. For you to determine the cost of the gift based on what they paid for a wedding you should have been paying for yourself is extremely shallow and entitled.

Anne, you're also confused about the point of the gift.