Gifts for parents when one set of parents has paid more?

You should get each parent something that is meaningful to them. Who the fuck cares who spent what on the wedding? It's not a reward for paying, FFS.

I would get them something different. I think there's a huge difference between someone paying 20k let's say and 2k for a wedding.

I would give the parents gifts privately so no set knows what was given.

That being said, I'm not saying what either contributed is any less meaningful or special but there is a difference and I think an extra nice gift for the one who spent more is warranted.

I see this no different than getting a moh an extra nice gift because she hosted a bridal shower and the BMs didn't. I would absolutely get the moh something nicer as an extra thank you for the money she put in above and beyond so why would parents be any different?

The gift isn't a return on their "investment." Get your parents and your FIL's both a nice gift, that is thoughtful and comes from the heart because you are thankful for them and everything they have done in your/FH's lives.

I assume your FIL's had a part in bringing your FH into the world and/or raising him to be the man you are marrying. Gift them the same as your parents, regardless of money contributed to an unnecessary party.

A gift is, IMHO, a present for them supporting you through your life, not writing a different sized check.

Wait until you get your photos back and give them a beautiful frame with you in it. Or give them the frames first with a promise to fill them. Do it in private.

(1) No, I do not agree. Spend the same amount on each parent. It's like saying one set deserves a better gift because they can afford to give more. Sends a rather jarring message if I was on the receiving end of the cheaper gift when I gave all I really could give.

(2) I'd probably give the Dad's flasks, personalized glasses or cutting board. For the Mom's personalized compacts or blankets or locket. It really depends on if they are into the same things to determine if you should get each gender the same gift or different things. Either way, I'd spend the same amount on each parent.

(3) When to give -> are you having a rehearsal dinner with them or a private meal with the four of them? If so, that might be the best time

I would make them roughly equal, but concentrate on the sentiment behind it and not the return on investment...

This is so incredibly rude that I don't think I can even do it justice by saying more.

I would just get them something meaningful regardless of how nice it is or how much it costs. I know my dad would rather get two bags of cheese curls and homemade cookies as a gift (which is exactly what I got him for his birthday) rather than some expensive gift just because it's expensive.

I also agree with others that you shouldn't be choosing gifts based on who gave more money, that's just unfair and not within the spirit of gift giving.

As a parent, I don't expect a gift from my girls for helping with their weddings. However, if you want to gift them something meaningful, I think they would truly love and appreciate it. The cost doesn't matter, and by no means should you consider spending more on a gift because one side gave more. Just give from the heart. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials!

We have all the parents the same thank you gift and, as Celia put, it was for supporting us through life and our decision to get married. No, our parents did not all "contribute equally" to the cost of our wedding, but we didn't feel that mattered in giving them this thank you gift. My mom and dad, his mom and stepdad, and his dad each received engraved frames with the saying "All we are and all we hope to be, we owe to our parents. Love, Brian & Samantha." After we get back our pro pics, we'll make sure we get each set of parents the picture that was taken of us with each set.

We individualized each thank you gift by writing detailed thank you cards. If any of the sets of parents had hosted any part of the wedding, we absolutely made mention of their generosity in their note. But the notes were about much more than just who paid for what. They were for raising us to be the person that we were each getting to marry and for loving us both as their kids from this point on (and for having already done so).

Exactly what @MAMW said: "I would just get them something meaningful regardless of how nice it is or how much it costs."

You mentioned handkerchiefs and pocket knives; do your parents actually want those things? Do they actually use those things? Do your FH's parents?

Presumably you each know your own parents very well. Choose something for each parent that would be meaningful/sentimental to that unique individual. Spend within your budget. It's that easy.

My parents are paying for a good chunk of our wedding and FH's family isn't giving a penny but they're both still getting a beautiful personalized candle with a heartfelt quote on it. And probably a framed photo of us from the wedding once we get pro pics back. It's the thought that counts, and it's not a contest. Am I pissed FH's family has money and won't contribute and my parents can hardly get by with one low income and bills for my dads leukemia? Yea. Pretty much. But just because one side is contributing doesn't mean they get a better gift.

I want to have the photographer take a nice photo of both sets of parents and then have a throw made with their pic on it. Although, it will be after the wedding so a personalized handkerchief will be given at rehearsal dinner or before the wedding to moms because....well, they cry. I'm still debating the dads gifts.

Neither of our parents are helping us pay for our wedding and we are still getting them a gift that they will love because we want to.

I'm not even sure how to say this nicely. But that's really shitty mentality. I guess I'll leave it at that.

1. I don't think it's a big deal if one set gets a bigger gift than another set as long as both are meaningful. My parents paid for the whole wedding and we are getting them a vacation. We're getting his mom a personalized necklace and a few other memory-oriented things. I think his mom will still absolutely love her gifts because they will be heartfelt and she loves that sort of thing; she hates travel. My parents will love theirs because they aren't as sentimental but are obsessed with traveling. Is part of this because we want to show our gratitude for them paying for the wedding? Yes.

2. If you think they want extra acknowledgement but for you not to spend money, just make it clear that they are the hosts of the event. For example, our invites say "Lyla's mom's name and Lyla's dad's name invite you to..." Then at the wedding, my dad will give a speech. And at FH's speech at the wedding, we plan to explicitly thank them for making the wedding possible. Likewise, since FH's parents are hosting the RD and welcome reception, they should give a speech at the RD and you should thank them in your RD speech for hosting the event. You should list them as hosts on those invites.

3. I think you should give them at the RD, as per usual. People don't open them with everyone watching usually. You could also give your parents the gifts on the day of the wedding if your parents are getting ready with you, and have FH give his parents theirs if they are getting ready with him.

Get each set of parents something that they would like. How much they contributed financially to wedding is ridiculous. These are parents who raised you. They already contributed a lot.

I don't like my MIL (no one does lol) and neither she or my FIL (they're divorced) contributed in any way to our wedding. My parents graciously and generously paid for the entire wedding.

So we gave gifts to all of the parents, but the gifts I gave my parents are obviously more meaningful then the gift I gave to my MIL who I can't stand or my FIL I don't know as well.

Neither of our parents contributed to our wedding by any means and we still got them gifts. Its just the nice thing to do.