Gifts and Cash stolen! Advice Needed Please!

That's really unfortunate. I think if it happened to us we'd contact the venue just to let them know what happened. I've read on some sites that they recommend a place for cards that's not near the main entrance in order to deter random drop-in thieves.

I honestly don't know if I'd tell all the guests our not, so I'm interested to see what everyone says. You can still send thank you's out if you missed some people. Thank them for coming and don't mention any gifts in the card (for now anyway).

@May, I was thinking along those same lines. I was looking to see what everyone else was going to say, I'm kind of speechless. How unfortunate.

I'm gonna be an ass here, so.....but, um, why the heck are you just now figuring this out?! I mean you got married in Sept - it's Jun, 9 months later. Did you take this long to thank you guests or did guests take this long to inquire about their gifts & how you've enjoyed them? And the purses with missing money? Maybe I've just got a really tight hold on my cash in my purse, but I'd know like the next day that money was missing. In that case I wouldnt have waited 9 months to say, oh yeah now that you mention it, btw I had money missing... This to me just seems really freaking odd...

That really sucks, but 9 months later, there's really nothing you can do about it. Except to tell guests to cancel those checks that were thankfully never cashed.

I'm very sorry to hear this happened to you. I've heard of many cases of stolen wedding gifts as well as bachelorette party gifts. My gift table will be right next to the head table and be the farthest table from any exit. My aunt has also volunteered to be the wedding gift watcher for us. The best man will also have this duty.

Wow! very sad and unfortunate!

I would at least say something to the venue, they may have had other instances where that happened and may be able to make suggestions to the next newlyweds..

I think I remember at prom in HS staff had stolen things out of purses and off the tables..

It was reported that evening and the staff was caught and fired on the spot.. 9 months later it is hard to determine who may have taken the stuff because nobody is going to confess....

Now that i see your issue i want to come up with something to prevent that at my wedding, possibly a box that cards can be slid into? but that may look bad... hmmm

There are some very pretty card holders, such as

http://www.orientaltrading.com/white-birdcage-card-holder-a2-3_3801-12-1.fltr?Ntt=card%20holder

which could be modified so the bars were closer with one slot to put the cards in, so that they would be pretty but also functional. You can slide the cards in, but not remove them without being obvious.

Very nice idea Sumer, Thanks!

@Nafina I wish life was perfect, but people felt weird telling us that they had things stolen and we didn't want to ask "Hey, why didnt you give us a card or cash?" Typically people have 1 year to give a wedding gift and we thought that was the case with several people. It wasnt until the uncomfortable topic came up with a relative where they told us they had indeed given us a check and it wasnt cashed. That sparked several questions of "did you get my card/cash?" from others around. Some we did, others we didnt. We were shocked. That is also when people started talking about missing $$ from purses. Hope your wedding goes perfect and everyone gives you something right then and there and you ask them "did you give something? I want to make sure I get it." Good luck with that one. Thanks for the concern...

@Everyone else: Thank you so much for your support. We got married at a farm and there really was no venue staff present, only vendors, friends and family. Purses were stashed around, fairly out of site. The gift table was out in the open and nothing locked down. We thought it was safe with the group in attendance. Obviously not. You live and learn. Learn from our mistake. Keep gifts, but especially cards, in a place they are safe and secure!

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

Our venue is still a functioning hotel and restaurant while our wedding will be going on, so I'm trying to take every precaution necessary. Closed card box, tub to immediately put gifts in that can go straight to a locked car, gift table attendee (my sister). The table will be right behind the ceremony chairs, so it'd be obvious if someone walked over. Moving the cardbox (after it being emptied) to the reception tent, where everyone will see it. And a DOC who will keep her eyes out during the wedding itself when everyone else tends to be pretty absorbed.

I hope this is enough, I would hate for that to happen to anyone, and I'm sorry that it has happened to you

Ohhhh my goodness. People who steal from weddings are going to be reincarnated as cockroaches.....If it were me, I'd approach guests who you thought would have given a gift/card, but you didn't get one. As a guest, I would want to know that it was stolen to #1 cancel the check, and #2 avoid any hurt feelings of thinking I just didn't get thanked. You don't have to come out and say "hey, did you give us money". I'd approach it like, "did you happen to bring a card? Cards were stolen from the wedding, and we're very disappointed we missed out on all the kind thoughts, and wanted to make sure everyone was thanked". And if people threw money in the cards, they'll definitely bring it up then.

This happened at another wedding recently too, turned out it was a plus-one for one of their guests. Did any of your guests have a plus-one?

People are so cruel. Why would someone steal wedding gifts?

This actually happened to a friend of mine and to this day, they have no idea who took the gifts. Maybe there's something the venue can do?

Wow this is a very enlightening thread. I would have NEVER thought that someone would do this, but it makes a good point that there are bad people out there, and you can't control all your guests and their plus ones.

I've very sorry this happened to you.

I have heard this too and I disagree with Nafia I think a lot of people would of said nothing especially if the amounts stollen were not big amounts maybe thinking they miss placed the money OR lost it. Things happen but when you get one who says something and someone else is like Hey, I thought I just miscounted my cash that day it doesn't take long to put two and two together.

As far as what to do. I would just let family/friends know of what was discovered. Send you apologies that you just found out. For those who gave and didn't receive a thank you for their gift this was why. As far as the venue, not sure because at this point you have no clue in if it was anyone from the venue or someone you invited sadly

@Amy V how many check to see who deposited the check? I know I don't do check anymore but when I did I just made sure my account showed the money was gone. IF someone fakes a signature many wouldn't know unless they knew what someone's signature looked like. I would say it takes balls to steal from a wedding in general. People ripping off checks though is nothing new.

To the check stuff, maybe it's just the security of the banks I'm with, but every single time I want to deposit my paychecks, I have to show ID right along with it. They look at my name, & compare it to the check. Are there seriously banks out there that dont look at them?

Well that was just my opinion that it's ridiculous for someone NOT to say anything about money stolen. I mean think about it, in this world where every penny counts, it's foolish not to say something, even IF you possibly misplaced it. I wont apologize for feeling that way.

I wasnt trying to be overly rude, but seriously, there's really nothing you can do to recover anything after almost a year. Make sure checks are cancelled, but what could the vendor do, do they even remember you after 9 months?

The banks are dumb, unfortunately.

We had one of our vendors calling about an invoice that was paid a year prior. After tracing down and checking out the stub of the cheque, turns out, the business next to our vendor cashed the cheque. The bank had to reimburse us these funds and then get the money from the business who wrongfully cashed the cheque.