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Lauren
Dedicated June 2019

Gift from Someone Not Invited to Wedding

Lauren, on May 17, 2019 at 6:23 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 29

So...the title pretty much sums it up. We received a wedding gift from someone who isn’t invited to our wedding in June and I have no idea what to do about it. For background: this girl and her husband are decently good friends with my FH’s best friend and his wife. I have hung out with this girl in...
So...the title pretty much sums it up. We received a wedding gift from someone who isn’t invited to our wedding in June and I have no idea what to do about it.

For background: this girl and her husband are decently good friends with my FH’s best friend and his wife. I have hung out with this girl in a group of their friends about two to three times over the past couple years. We don’t talk outside of these situations and our only interaction is liking each others’ posts on social media. I personally consider us “friendly” but not friends, more like good aquantences. I will say they were originally on the guest list but when we decided we wanted less people (& less money to spend), I chose family members over this group of people.

Our wedding is 30 days away. FH wants to send them an invite now, which is super shady in my opinion and makes it obvious that we felt “guilty” in some way. My mom and friends have advised me to just send a thank you card and leave it at that. I will admit that I do now feel bad, but am not sad any of them won’t be at our wedding (not entirely sure if this makes me a bad person, but it is what it is I guess). FH says he doesn’t care and it’s up to me to decide.

What do y’all think? What is the best way to go about this?

29 Comments

  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
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    I would just sent a thank you card. Typically a month before the wedding invites have already been sent so maybe (hopefully) they figured they weren’t invited but wanted to be nice and send something anyways.
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  • Victoria
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Victoria ·
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    To invite them now looks like an afterthought; send a thank you card and be on your way! Good luck on your impending nuptials! Smiley heart

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  • Chelsea W.
    Dedicated October 2020
    Chelsea W. ·
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    I think sending a thank you card is perfectly acceptable. I don't think they're expecting an invitation, but instead just wanted to wish you congratulations. Enjoy whatever it is that they got you! Smiley smile

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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    A handwritten thank you card will suffice
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  • Cheryl
    Expert November 2020
    Cheryl ·
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    I agree with mom and friends. You don't owe them anything. I think they probably already know they aren't invited being that it's only 30 days out. I think your gut is right. It may make them uncomfortable to get an invite now that they've sent a gift. Maybe in the thank you note mention that it would be nice to meet up for drinks "soon".
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  • Heather
    Expert August 2020
    Heather ·
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    Just send a thank you card. Your wedding is a month away, they should know by now that they're not invited. Maybe they just anted to show you support by sending a gift. That should in no way guilt trip you.

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  • Andrea
    Super October 2019
    Andrea ·
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    I agree that a sincere thank you note is perfect for the situation.
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  • Krystin
    Expert October 2019
    Krystin ·
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    I've gotten people gifts before when I wasn't invited. It was in no way suggesting that they invite me. Not necessarily for a wedding, but people do it all the time with birthdays and baby showers... it's just a nice gesture to know someone is thinking of you in your time of celebration. Send a thank you card or letter thanking them for their gift!

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  • Mrs. Ariza
    Devoted October 2020
    Mrs. Ariza ·
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    I would stick to my guns and leave it at that. Just send a thank you card.
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