Gift for officiant

@futuremrs.barton the OP is having a friend mine has always been my brother. And it's only a train wreck in case of an emergency. Point is i have a plan b if something goes wrong and we have followed all of thr steps to make it legal on my wedding day. And a contract would say what? He's not being paid (except for his gift of course) and there's a plan in place if he doesn't show.

@Victoria hiring a professional makes there be no need for a plan b. As for a contact, it is very needed. That way if he is sick or cannot show he is responsible for finding another professional.

You're not going to even pay him!? Wow.

I'm have no advice on the officiant (ours was a dear family friend who is also a pastor), but am I the only one a bit concerned by the OP's officiant "marring" her and her FH?

Grammar nerd problems...

@futuremrs.barton did you not read the "except for his gift" which I said before is going to be money. And I already explained the plan for if he is unable to show which would only be in the case of an emergency. You are trying to tell me what I'm doing us 100% not ok and bottom line is it is ok. You just think it will be bad, everyone is allowed to do what they want to do on their wedding day. People come on here for advice and I think anything you want to do is ok but I hate constantly seeing people say it HAS TO BE PROFESSIONAL OR ITS NOT GONNA WORK. it's solid advice but it is not the only way things are done. Agree to disagree and maybe make a list of things your professional is doing with you to help another bride find the holes in her plan. I know you will say you have found the holes in mine but I don't think you have I think I have all my bases covered under the sercumstances, it's just different than what you're doing.

Everyone can post how they want, but OP's contracts, etc. are not your business.

I'd say shop like it's a birthday or money!

Money money money.

My good friend was ordained just for our wedding. She did an incredible job and we are still getting compliments about how moving the ceremony was. She's a writer, so I'm sure that helped, but she literally had no experience prior to our wedding and created our ceremony herself. It was 100% legal and absolutely beautiful. We got her a bottle of wine and a card. If you trust your brother can do it- he can do it. Good luck

There are several reasons why someone may want their friend as an officiant and that friend may also be a professional. (I really dislike how it always seems to be either/or when in some cases it's a both/and.)

OP we're being married by our priest who we also consider a dear friend. We will likely take him out to dinner the next time we're in town.

One of my bridesmaids and her husband were married by a friend of theirs (who I believe had been ordained to do some other friends weddings or was a JoP, I can't remember but it's beside the point) and gave him a bottle of his favorite bourbon.

People on here always get pretty dramatic lol

I think it's great your friend is able to marry you guys. We are having our pastor Mary us but only because he's super cool and laid back and the pastor of our church! But if I had a good friend that was able to, I'd consider it for sure!

It's all about you and your soon to be hubby! It's an important job but would be special if a friend did it!!

Congrats!

Confused. So you're not supposed to have family be an officiant? I don't understand the logic. It would be more sentimental to have a family member officiate the wedding than Joe Blow on the street. My future FIL is going to be my officiant and I don't see any issues with it. He officiated his oldest sons' wedding as well. Some of you people on here are so extra with this tradition stuff. Girl, enjoy your day and give him some money or a gift card some where as a gift. Don't listen to some of these Debbie downers.

Monogrammed Tiffany and Co. cufflinks

My priest side 1988 is marrying us. I have always had a fantastic relationship with him. I got him a mug with his face on it. Almost like a cartoon character and a quote from the bible written out with a back round. He will laugh at the mug.

My FHs uncle will be our officiant. And we will get him his favorite wine. He is honored to do it. There is absolutely no RULE with what you want for your wedding.

My dad is officiating our ceremony and he is a "professional". OP did not ask anybody's opinion on who her officiant should or shouldn't be. She asked about an appropriate gift. Just sayin'.

We'll probably gift our officiant a book. He's a friend of my father and loves to read. If you feel money is too impersonal (like I do) just think of something to do with his hobbies.

Jess A, kudos for doing your wedding, your way! I've been to weddings for which the couple opted to have a close friend or family member officiate and not once was there a "fiasco" or "mishap" of any kind. The ceremonies had a nice flow and intimacy about them. I have also been to weddings where the pastor or priest repeatedly mispronounced names. As far as the certificate, it just a matter of a stamp and a sealed envelope. My childhood pastor flew in for my wedding, so I handled the filing. It's not a big deal. Pro or novice, it can work beautifully with organization and a proper rehearsal.

To answer your question Jess A, a gift card to a favorite store or restaurant is nice. Also, tickets to see a favorite team play.

@FMBarton, for some officiants it's more of a selfless service thing than "working". Our very dear family friends are officiating our wedding. They would have been far more upset if I had not asked them to do it. And yes, they do their officiating in a professional capacity as clergy. They just see it as supporting the community and do not rely on it for income.

Get them something personal. I haven't decided what we're getting ours yet either... he's my uncle and I'm the closest thing he has to a daughter. He and my aunt started crying when we asked him.

I was the officiant at my cousin's wedding and I didn't treat it as a joke. I researched wedding ceremonies and I went through all the necessary legal channels to make sure everything was legal. I didn't fumble around during the ceremony, I knew what a big deal it was for them and I behaved as a professional. It wasn't work for me, I considered it an honor that they would want me to be the one who joined them as husband and wife.

If some people want to hire a pro then fine, but don't shit on the people who want something a little more personal.

ETA spelling

I have wanted my dad to marry us since I knew what a wedding was. He is going to do it for us and

we couldn't be more excited. The last wedding I went to was the same way. The bride's dad was the officiant and it was so precious. Just because you don't hire a professional doesn't mean things will go terribly wrong. There are other people capable of doing things, and possibly doing them better.