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Expert September 2016

Getting Married Before the Wedding

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So.Many.Questions, on September 20, 2015 at 2:44 PM

FH and I were in the middle of planning (and paying for) our wedding next spring when I found out I was pregnant. We've already spent several thousand dollars, none of which is refundable, and due to the location(outdoor) we cannot push the date up, because it will be the dead of winter. We've decided to push the wedding back a few months instead. The issue is, our child will be due around the original wedding date, but it was really important to me for my children to be born in wedlock. We're considering getting married quietly before the actual "wedding" and announcing at the reception. If we do this, i dont want to tell anyone because I know people will get upset at this, and its our business. His family is ultra religious and he wants to tell them because they will think we are living in sin even though we wont be. What should I do?

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24 Comments

Master October 2015
OG Ruth · on September 20, 2015 at 5:45 PM
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@ E-Tex - I was thinking the same thing.
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Master April 2016
allysia · on September 20, 2015 at 5:51 PM
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There's no need to lie or hide anything because you have nothing to be ashamed of. Children are a blessing, your baby is coming into this world with two parents that love them very much, this should be a happy time. If you rather get married sooner than later then do it

get married

enjoy your husband

enjoy your baby

tell all judgmental idiots to shove it
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Devoted October 2015
Mrs. BMM · on September 20, 2015 at 5:59 PM
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I would tell your guests that you are already married. Don't hide it. I had a friend go through with a "wedding" that everyone thought was real but in reality the groom still wasn't divorced from his first wife. They didn't get legally married until a month later. A lot of people were very unhappy when they found out the truth.
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Master May 2016
WolfWedding2016 · on September 20, 2015 at 7:47 PM
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I had a friend who did this and it was super weird and awkward. She got married so she and her husband could move into base housing together (they are both in the Air Force but were stationed different places). I totally understood WHY they did it, but having this pretense that they weren't married until 9 months later was ridiculous. Tell everyone, and get married when you want to.
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