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Chris
Dedicated August 2019

Getting Marriage License- More Meaningful Experience Than Thought

Chris, on July 17, 2019 at 1:03 PM

Posted in Planning 30

Just got back from getting my marriage license from the Town Clerk with my partner. It was a super simple process and took about 15 minutes, but I wasn't expecting it to be as meaningful to me as it was. I know each jurisdiction has different requirements for applicants. Ours simply required an...

Just got back from getting my marriage license from the Town Clerk with my partner. It was a super simple process and took about 15 minutes, but I wasn't expecting it to be as meaningful to me as it was. I know each jurisdiction has different requirements for applicants. Ours simply required an original birth certificate, photo ID, and a completed 1-page form. There was something about registering our marriage with the local government that made things feel incredibly formal and real to me. Sure, all the event planning has made this real... Sure, all the money flying out of our bank accounts has made this real... Sure, the bachelor parties, the vendor correspondence, the RSVPs, etc. all made this real, too.... but this was the first time that our names, as a couple going to marry, were submitted to governmental entities to be recognized. Wow. As a gay couple, my partner and I were especially grateful that this process went smoothly for us. While the laws of the land have changed in our country, both of us disclosed to one another that in the back of our minds we were worried that the Town Clerk would refuse to grant us a marriage license and refuse to recognize our relationship. While we live in NY, we are not in the city and reside in an area where gay couples aren't always welcomed everywhere. Today's signing of the marriage license meant more to me than simply jumping through a bureaucratic hoop to get married... It was meaningful. Powerful. It was a message to me that our relationship mattered and that our marriage was going to be recognized by the law and not just our family and friends who are in constant support of us. It reminds me of how precious this opportunity to be married really is. How valuable the support and legal backing can be. How validation of a couple's love can be recognized and how powerful it feels when it is. We feel grateful that we were not turned away today, despite our fears. We feel honored and proud that our relationship is able to be recognized. And we are so humbled by the many staff voices shouting "Congratulations!" to us as we left the Town Clerk's office. This experience- though just a hoop in the process for some- was really powerful to me and my partner. It made everything real and excited us even further for our upcoming wedding on August 10th. Did any of you feel anything when you registered for your marriage license? What was your experience?

30 Comments

  • Charlotte
    Dedicated August 2019
    Charlotte ·
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    Date twins!!!! We’re getting our marriage license sometime next week. I think once that’s in my hands it will start to feel real! 😀

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  • Ana
    Devoted September 2019
    Ana ·
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    Congratulations 🎈 getting the license is a big deal. It some how makes this whole thing real and official. I can’t wait for your BAM
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  • Angerra
    VIP August 2019
    Angerra ·
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    Congratulations Chris! This was so beautifully written. I got all the feels! I can totally see how this experience meant so much more than getting a legally binding piece of paper. I love that you guys were able to walk into that town clerk with pride, as any couple should, and leave with congratulatory wishes from the staff. That is awesome! Love always wins!
    I'm getting married August 10th in NY as well and we're going to get out marriage license on the 29th. That is when I think all of this will feel even more real!
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  • Sharon
    Super September 2021
    Sharon ·
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    This is the best thing I've read in a long time! It's heartbreaking that people have to worry about their relationship not being recognized because of other people's ignorance and prejudice. I'm so happy you had such a positive experience. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Wishing you and your partner a lifetime of love and happiness.
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  • Chris
    Dedicated August 2019
    Chris ·
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    Thanks, Danielle! Congratulations to you and your future spouse, too!

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  • Chris
    Dedicated August 2019
    Chris ·
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    Thanks, Laura! I look forward to hearing all about your experience when you get your marriage license. Congratulations to you and your future spouse!

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  • Chris
    Dedicated August 2019
    Chris ·
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    Woohoo for being date twins!!! It's coming up so soon... I hope that you are doing well with the fast approaching date. I hope that you have a great experience getting your marriage license last week. If it's anything like our experience, it will certainly feel a bit more real afterwards...I look forward to hearing about it! Congratulations to you and your future spouse!

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  • Chris
    Dedicated August 2019
    Chris ·
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    Thanks so much, Ana! Getting the license did feel like a much bigger deal than I ever would have expected. I will certainly be posting our BAM from the wedding! It's coming up so soon... Thanks for your comment and all the very best to you and your spouse!

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  • Chris
    Dedicated August 2019
    Chris ·
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    Thanks so much for your message, Angerra. Date twins! And NY twins, too! haha With the big day coming up, I send all the warmest thoughts to you and your future spouse and hope that you have an incredible wedding! We had a great experience getting our marriage license. I hope that you two have a great experience, too on the 29th and that it becomes an important "moment" in the process. If it's anything like we experienced, things will certainly be feeling real after....

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  • Chris
    Dedicated August 2019
    Chris ·
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    Sharon, Thanks for your sweet message. I agree that it's really ridiculous that so many folks have to worry about their relationships and the prejudice of others. We've come a long way though and my partner and I are doing things that we never could have imagined 10 years ago- and being married is perhaps one of the most important ones! Love should be celebrated. I wish you and your future spouse the very best during your future wedding and echo your wishes for a lifetime of love and happiness together!

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