Chris
Dedicated May 2018

Getting Marriage License- More Meaningful Experience Than Thought

Chris, on July 17, 2019 at 1:03 PM Posted in Planning 1 30
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Just got back from getting my marriage license from the Town Clerk with my partner. It was a super simple process and took about 15 minutes, but I wasn't expecting it to be as meaningful to me as it was. I know each jurisdiction has different requirements for applicants. Ours simply required an original birth certificate, photo ID, and a completed 1-page form. There was something about registering our marriage with the local government that made things feel incredibly formal and real to me. Sure, all the event planning has made this real... Sure, all the money flying out of our bank accounts has made this real... Sure, the bachelor parties, the vendor correspondence, the RSVPs, etc. all made this real, too.... but this was the first time that our names, as a couple going to marry, were submitted to governmental entities to be recognized. Wow. As a gay couple, my partner and I were especially grateful that this process went smoothly for us. While the laws of the land have changed in our country, both of us disclosed to one another that in the back of our minds we were worried that the Town Clerk would refuse to grant us a marriage license and refuse to recognize our relationship. While we live in NY, we are not in the city and reside in an area where gay couples aren't always welcomed everywhere. Today's signing of the marriage license meant more to me than simply jumping through a bureaucratic hoop to get married... It was meaningful. Powerful. It was a message to me that our relationship mattered and that our marriage was going to be recognized by the law and not just our family and friends who are in constant support of us. It reminds me of how precious this opportunity to be married really is. How valuable the support and legal backing can be. How validation of a couple's love can be recognized and how powerful it feels when it is. We feel grateful that we were not turned away today, despite our fears. We feel honored and proud that our relationship is able to be recognized. And we are so humbled by the many staff voices shouting "Congratulations!" to us as we left the Town Clerk's office. This experience- though just a hoop in the process for some- was really powerful to me and my partner. It made everything real and excited us even further for our upcoming wedding on August 10th. Did any of you feel anything when you registered for your marriage license? What was your experience?

30 Comments

  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated February 2020
    Elizabeth
    This brought a tear to my eye馃槏 congratulations 馃挄
  • Jessica
    VIP September 2020
    Jessica
    Congratulations! We won鈥檛 get our marriage license for quite a while, but the right to do so is something we definitely shouldn鈥檛 take for granted and this is a great reminder. Glad you had such a good experience!
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly
    Congratulations! I'm a long way away from that point but am glad you weren't turned away.
  • Alli
    Devoted May 2020
    Alli

    Congratulations!!!

  • Mr&mrslamb
    Dedicated October 2020
    Mr&mrslamb
    Congratulations!鈾ワ笍 #loveislove
  • Courtney
    Rockstar December 2019
    Courtney
    Love this!! I鈥檓 so glad you and your partner had an enjoyable experience. It鈥檚 incredible to think that 10 years ago this wasn鈥檛 even possible in most states.
  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica

    I actually got chills reading this congratulations to you and your partner! Our wedding isn't until October so we haven't gotten our license yet, but I do think it will be a bit emotional and make it seem more real

  • C
    Devoted November 2020
    Casey
    Congratulations! This sounds so sweet and romantic!
  • Chris
    Dedicated May 2018
    Chris
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks, Elizabeth! Appreciate your comment. Congratulations to you and your partner, too!

  • Chris
    Dedicated May 2018
    Chris
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks, Jessica! Congratulations to you and your partner too! In NY we have to get our marriage license within a month of getting married. When it's your turn, I hope you have a great moment, too. I had assumed I'd take it for granted until I was there. Congrats again!

  • Erinn
    Dedicated January 2020
    Erinn

    Congratulations to you both !!! This makes me excited for the day we go to do ours !

  • Chris
    Dedicated May 2018
    Chris
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks, Kelly. Us too! It's great that you have a long way until you need to get your license. The journey getting to this point has been really fun- and at times hectic- but it all adds to the overall experience. I hope that you and yours have an excellent journey ahead of you.

  • Chris
    Dedicated May 2018
    Chris
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks, Alli! Appreciate your comment. Congratulations to you and your soon-to-be spouse, too!

  • Chris
    Dedicated May 2018
    Chris
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you and congratulations to you and your partner, too! I totally agree that #loveislove. I wish you and yours the greatest of love as you move forward with this journey.

  • Chris
    Dedicated May 2018
    Chris
    View Quoted Comment

    Courtney, thanks for your message. Yes! It's really amazing to see how far we've come in the last decade. It's truly unreal. For a long time I wasn't even sure it would be possible to marry my partner of 8 years- but I'm so pleased to be able to do it. Simply incredible. I wish you and yours all the best and lots of love as you move forward in your wedding process. Congratulations!

  • Chris
    Dedicated May 2018
    Chris
    View Quoted Comment

    Jessica, Thanks so much for your message. Congratulations to you and your partner! It's great that you still have some time before you need to get your license. That means you're probably still in the planning phase which we found to be really exciting (except those few fleeting moments when you wanted to pull your hair out...but again, they were super fleeting and definitely outweighed by the excitement and joy!). I hope you have a great moment when you get your license and that you and your partner have an incredible future together!

  • Chris
    Dedicated May 2018
    Chris
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks, Casey! It was definitely a powerful experience for us. I hope that you and your partner get to have a positive experience, too, when you get your license (if you haven't already). Congratulations to you!

  • Chris
    Dedicated May 2018
    Chris
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks Erinn. Congratulations to you and your partner too! This wedding journey is so exciting. I hope you have an incredible moment when you get your license and things feel official. I'm excited for you!

  • D
    Savvy August 2019
    Danielle
    Congratulations to both of you!!
  • Laura
    Rockstar October 2019
    Laura

    We haven't gotten ours yet, but I can see why it would feel that way. It makes it real, not just planning, but really close to being legally married. That was so sweet

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