Gap between Ceremony and Reception

Everyone will tell you to not have a gap. It was unavoidable for me and very common in my family.

We had food and drinks hosted at a restaurant attached to the hotel many people were staying at. Obviously I wasn't there because I was taking pictures but everyone said it went great. There was over half of the guests who came and everyone was in the party mood come cocktail hour. I know it's not ideal to have a gap but it can be done.

ETA: people may skip the ceremony too. I know of some people who didn't come which didn't bother me. I really wanted to get married at my parish.

@Jessica people have church weddings every single weekend (yes, even Catholic) and find a way to avoid the gap. It's called compromise. The OP is the perfect example. She doesn't have to have a gap. She can avoid it very easily, but she wants this beautiful cathedral and so there's a gap. When planning a wedding, it's a lie that it's your day. If you elope, sure, knock yourself out, it's your day. But when you invite guests, you need to consider them as well. You want your church wedding? Okay. Pick a church that allows a late ceremony. Can't? Okay. Pick a lunch reception instead of dinner. Time to adult and realize that you can't have every single thing you want without being rude to the people who are taking time out of their lives to witness your union.

If I were a guest I'd skip the whole thing. A four hour gap is ridiculous.

Here's an idea.

Skip the gap. It's sucks rocks.

No bueno

If you can have the ceremony at your church at 2pm, do it!!! You will have a lot less guests at your ceremony if you have it at 11! Even though it's a 30 minute drive to the reception it'll still be closer to the reception start time, and a lot less waiting for the guests, which they will definitely appreciate!!! Otherwise, see if you can set up a long pre reception cocktail party at a local restaurant for the guests. However, this would be the more expensive option.

I would rather drive thirty minutes from one site to the other than have a four hour gap.

Go with the drive. Id skip the 4 hour gap wedding

I have a 4 hour gap myself. I am not planning anything, but I am expecting some guests to skip the wedding ceremony. Most of my friends and family live near one venue or the other which are about 15 miles apart.

Gaps are a really rude thing to do to your guests. At a wedding, the host (you) are responsible for the guests from the start of the ceremony until the end of the reception. You are the hosts of this event. A gap falls far outside of good etiquette.

I have a gap between mine (also 4 hours). I'm planning on setting up a tour of a local brewery for those interested. For those not interested, we're having a hospitality room at the hotel. And for all of the people like the lovely ladies saying on this thread about how they wouldn't show up, I sincerely hope they don't. I'd love to save $100 per person that's going to complain about one day out of their life dedicated to celebrating something incredibly special with someone that is presumably a very close friend or family member. It's obviously not the ideal, but sometimes it can't be avoided.

Gaps are very common. Don't let these people make you feel guilty for having the wedding of your dreams. In your welcome bag, maybe include a list of places guests can go between that mean something to you and your FH and include a fun memory you have. Out of town guests might love the chance to explore your city the way you see it. Or include a map of all of the bars within walking distance to the hotel. If it's within your budget, coordinate with the bar so the first round is on you guys (tickets in the welcome bag work great for this). Try to arrange things for groups to do so people feel less awkward staying in their wedding clothes, and make sure any activities are indoor so they don't get sweaty and ruin their hair/makeup/dress shirt. And if you're able, have shuttles to and from the reception in case people spend the gap drinking.

Or just don't worry about it. People might not come to one thing or the other, but you won't even notice because there will be plenty of people that are willing to spend their day celebrating with you, and you'll be way too happy and busy to notice.

I once went to a wedding where the ceremony and reception venue were roughly 30 minutes apart. There was also an almost 4 hour gap.

I can tell you that we didn't mind the drive between, but we most certainly did mind the gap. It made for a really long day. They tried to have activities in between, but by the time the reception started, to celebratory mood had died and everyone was just bored and hungry.

Also, is your ceremony really two hours?

Don't do it. I would only go to one. You could do lovely brunch or lunch options and still host your guests properly.

I would personally have the ceremony a half an hour away but book your hotel block closer to the reception. It's easier and safer, IMO, for people to drive 30 min to the ceremony and back, than to drive to a reception, drink, and have to drive home. That way you can give yourself an hour or so gap for people to drive back to the hotel, touch up their makeup, and head to the reception (maybe on a shuttle?). I was at a wedding last year that had a 2 hour gap, and if our hotel hadn't had happy hour (free popcorn and local beers and wine) I would have been INCREDIBLY annoyed. As is, I was only moderately annoyed.

As they say on the subway, "mind the gap." The shorter, the better.

AVOID THE GAP! A friend of mine had a 3-4 hour gap because of a church ceremony and it was awful. We all went to a sports bar and got drunk and ate there. We all still talk about it. It was terrible. If I was from OOT I would have had no idea where to go or what to do.

ETA: on the flip side another friend had a Catholic Church ceremony, had maybe a 30 minute gap between wedding ceremony and an amazing cocktail hour before dinner. It is possible to not have a gap with a church ceremony.

I would rather drive 30 mins then have a long gap

I just realized that my best friend's wedding in Oct will have a 3 hr gap. Yes we have a bit of travelling to do between Brooklyn and Staten Island... but still... he has no plan for out of town guests... and such.. I am going to be in the same car as his mom and grandma which is the only reason I am allowed to be at the reception site while they take pictures... I am dreading this. .. but he is my best friend so wouldn't miss it..

Please avoid the gap... especially if you have a lot of out of town guests.

I agree that I would prefer a 30 minute drive over a 4 hour gap. Or move up your reception time.

Don't listen to Lindsey. People will side eye you for the gap, but won't say anything to your face. Gaps are avoidable and not having a gap will make your guests more likely to attend both the ceremony and reception. Not having a gap will make for happier guests as well.

I agree a 30 minute drive us far better then a four hour gap.

If it were me I would do the 2pm ceremony and 30 minute drive and skip the gap.

I end up skipping the wedding....it's that or show up already intoxicated to the reception because we were killing time at the bar.