Maria
Beginner November 2020

Gamer friends?

Maria, on July 24, 2019 at 2:16 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 28
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My fiancé and I have been going over who we would like to have at our wedding. I have had my list done for a few weeks now and he just got his done. We both seem to find us disagreeing on his list he has three people on his list that he has never met before but has known them from playing video games for the past four years. I have never spoken to these girls before and don’t know them at all. I didn’t even know they were being invited till I saw the list. I questioned him about it to see if maybe in the four years he has played with them they have met and he said no the first time they will all meet will be at the wedding. I find it really strange and I’m uncomfortable with inviting strangers I haven’t met before to our wedding. He thinks I’m being ridiculous about this but I would rather us all meet before hand than it be the day of the wedding. Any advice on this?

28 Comments

  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I would just let him have it since it's his portion of guests
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  • Destiny
    Rockstar May 2020
    Destiny ·
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    I thought about it for my fhs gamer guys but we decided on a family only wedding

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  • Lily
    Dedicated December 2019
    Lily ·
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    I suppose the obvious thing is to meet beforehand, though I don't know how easy that would be to do, depending on where they all live/their jobs/their schedules/if they even want to. Then again, they may not even come. If it were me, I would let him invite them. They are part of his guest list and he obviously feels that they are important enough to invite. I get having a friendship over the internet. Then again, if you do feel so strongly, stress that it makes you uncomfortable and see where it goes from there.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Super September 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    We invited one friend that FH met through a video game message board but neither of us has met in person before but they've been friends for over a decade now. And we've Skyped with him. But I would feel weird about having so many people neither of you have met at the wedding. Especially since you won't really get to spend much time with them so it wouldn't even be a very good first meeting.

    I would push for trying to meet sometime before the wedding. I don't know how far away they all live but I don't think that's really asking so much. Honestly if I was in the girls' position I would feel more comfortable meeting before the wedding as well.

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  • Maria
    Beginner November 2020
    Maria ·
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    That’s what we both wanted when we started planning this given to the fact that it’s already so expensive we were only inviting 18 and over family members.
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  • Maria
    Beginner November 2020
    Maria ·
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    I would feel so much better getting to really know them and Skype before the wedding. I know there isn’t going to be a lot of time at the reception to actually have any one on one time with them.
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  • Destiny
    Rockstar May 2020
    Destiny ·
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    I think in total we have 24 that doesnt include his 4 female cousins who never talk to us at family functions i plan on inviting just to be nice though doubt theyll come

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  • Maria
    Beginner November 2020
    Maria ·
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    It is his portion but I would like to know who is coming to the wedding 🤷🏽‍♀️
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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    My fiance is inviting two guys and their so's that he has never met from another state to our wedding. They have been playing games online together for years, and are really good friends. My FH is a good judge of character and I've also talked to these friends myself before. They will just stay at a hotel in the area. Sometimes online friends can be very good friends. I do see where you're coming from but at the same time, those are his friends and I'm sure he wants them there.
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  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren ·
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    Do they live close by? If not would they travel for the wedding seeing as they are not really that close and haven't even met in person? It is possible he mentioned the wedding to them and is inviting them because they seemed excited. It is also possible they don't even come.

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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I've heard stories about these arraignments and they always seem to be pleasant. Maybe he could ask his friends to talk to you on Skype because he wants you to meet them? Then decide on how it goes.
    I've never met one of fiance's friends before but I was willing to hear fiance out on him, only reason he isn't a groomsman is his friend got married and is expecting and lives out of state so it'd be too much for him.
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  • Octavia
    Dedicated June 2021
    Octavia ·
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    That’s definitely a red flag. I have a sibling who is relatively a big gamer and meet some people all the time for gaming purposes. Some of the games they meet these people because some tasks are done in groups depending on the game. It’s all about understanding though and compromise. I agree with your feelings. I don’t think the wedding DAY should be for the big meet and greet or strangers. My wedding is strictly 21+ besides my ring-bearers and flowers girls. You guys should work this out. Wishing the best for you’ll ❤️
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  • Maria
    Beginner November 2020
    Maria ·
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    I’m sure it will be pleasant because they all seem really nice. But he hasn’t made an effort to have me get to know them which kind of hurts because I have always made it a point to introduce him to all my friends even before we got engaged.
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  • Maria
    Beginner November 2020
    Maria ·
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    I want to compromise and I don’t mind that he invites them but meeting in person is a must before the wedding.
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  • Octavia
    Dedicated June 2021
    Octavia ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I absolutely agree!
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I would say he can only invite them if at least he has met them once vefoeehand
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  • Terra
    Expert September 2020
    Terra ·
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    We have plenty online friends on our guest list! FH has been playing online with the same big group of people for about 8 years now. The majority of his guests, excluding family, are online friends, many of which he hasn't gotten to meet yet.

    In the summer of 2016, *we* were actually the online couple nobody had met attending the wedding. We drove to Florida from OKC for the wedding of one of his gamer friends he hadn't met in person. It was an amazing weekend, and it was heartwarming watching the guys meet (there were about three of his friends living in Florida so he got to meet all of them when we were there).

    Online friendships can have the exact same weight and bond that an in person friendship does. If they mean enough to him that he'd extend the invite, I don't see any reason they shouldn't get one.

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  • Terra
    Expert September 2020
    Terra ·
    • Flag

    I should add, though, that we all had the opportunity to meet in person/hang out the day before the wedding. We didn't technically meet *at* the wedding.

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  • Kimberly
    Expert April 2020
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag

    I really don't think its that weird at all. I had a couple of online that I was so tight with strictly from playing videogames with online. Online friendships are totally common nowadays and you can form such a great bond without ever having met once! I'm actually inviting one of my good friends that I've been friends with for 4 years purely from Instagram! We have never met.

    If his friends are willing to fly out I don't see the issue Smiley smile

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  • Futuremrsk
    VIP August 2019
    Futuremrsk ·
    • Flag
    I would be uncomfortable with that, and my FH is an avid gamer and designs them for a living, so he has online friends all over the world. When we did our guest list, we both said we would only invite people we know, have both met, and have an active relationship with. So that immediately eliminated his online friends, and unfortunately some of his extended family. But he was perfectly okay with this. It's going to be up to the two of you to come to a conclusion.
    Are these people local? Within a couple hours? Would it be possible for you all to meet in person before you definitely decide to invite them?
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