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Beginner September 2015

Future step sisters in-law not invited to shower and FSMIL is ANGRY..

doodlebug, on July 6, 2015 at 12:49 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 24

My FI's dad got remarried when he was 11 and is decently close with his step mother. I invited her to my shower even though that meant having his step mom and mom at a relatively small event together. They see each other at events sometimes and are civil so that should be fine. The problem is that I...

My FI's dad got remarried when he was 11 and is decently close with his step mother. I invited her to my shower even though that meant having his step mom and mom at a relatively small event together. They see each other at events sometimes and are civil so that should be fine. The problem is that I didn't invite her two daughters. I like them and all, but we aren't close and IMO a shower is only for close friends and family. I just didn't really give much thought to inviting them because it didn't seem natural to do so. My FSMIL just found out and she's MAD. My FI's dad said she didn't sleep last night..now my FI and his dad are fighting about whether I should invite them - and they never fight! This blows my mind and has taken me totally by surprise. I do not take well to being bullied. She's made such a stink about it that I don't even want HER to come anymore. So do I invite them just to placate her and avoid more drama? Or tell her there just wasn't room on the list?

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24 Comments

  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
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    I do not consider her fiancé's, stepmother's daughters who she barely has a relationship with to be immediate family, sorry. Showers are small events for closest family and friends. They were not natural invitees...the OP really didn't even consider inviting them - that tells me that they don't need an invitation and the only one throwing a fit here is FSMIL who is being totally unreasonable.

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  • LB
    Master May 2014
    LB ·
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    I don't think you need to invite them to your bachelorette. That is for close friends and the bridesmaids...but to make sure that you don't get into a thing about it...why not keep the details very private? You can always say "It's going to be private for my closest friends only."

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  • OriginalKD
    Master December 2015
    OriginalKD ·
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    Hi Doodlebug - I think it is best to fall on the sword on both the shower and bachlorette. I understand that you want to keep things small and intimate, but including them will help heal these wounds. I would call your FH's stepmother and apologize for the 'oversight' and try to rebuild the bridge. Even though you are not close with them, they are the step-mother's children and thus part of the family. To exclude them will create a rift going forward.

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  • D
    Beginner September 2015
    doodlebug ·
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    Thank you everyone for your input! It helped me sort through my thoughts!

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