Future sil hurt feelings

I agree - just stand your ground and have something prepared in the holster if she asks - and take it from me, my first hubby's family has some SUPER weird dynamics going on and and one SIL would only ask inappropriate questions when we were alone - no witnesses, lol. A suggestion would be: "I thought you would be more comfortable as a guest."

I think as his sister she should be in the wedding party and should stand with the girls not on his side. She doesn't have to be your friend she's his sister and your future sil

You should only have people with you who you want to be with you. My FH wanted his daughter to be a bridesmaid. I didn't because she's awful. I agreed trying to give her a chance to get to know me. She created a ton of drama and my guy said she was out. Have who you want

Hahahha. Sorry for laughing - just reminds me of my BIL's GF.(GF!!!!) She never asked about being in my bridal party (thank the lord) but she confronted me about not being invited to my bachelorette (which consisted of 5 girls, all I have known 10 plus years) and a few other pre-wedding activities. Some people are REALLY THICK and don't understand some brides don't include every person under the sun to wedding events/activities. Also, your SIL sounds similar to my situation, as in we do not have a relationship and she doesn't remotely try to have one, so it wasn't on my radar she should have been included.

Hopefully, the conversation you have with her goes better than the convo with my BIL's GF. We haven't spoken since. But I agree with others. You have nothing to apologize for. If your fiance didn't request for her to be in the bridal party, you don't have any obligation to her. I would just let her know that you and your fiance (her brother!) agreed that the bridesmaids were your decision and groomsman his, and that you decided to keep your girl side small and to people who you are extremely close with.

I don't really know how to sugar coat it. That is what I tried to say and it backfired. Maybe you are your fiance can ask her to do a reading of a poem or something? Personally, that feels like a pity gesture, but if you think it will help. Weddings bring out the worst in people and it is amazing how people feel so entitled with zero ground to stand on. Good luck!

I agree with you 100%

I'm not saying being blood makes you worthy but that is his sister and soon to be your sister and although you aren't close it seems as if this is something that may bring you to closer. And although you FH says he's fine with it, he may not be. I think it would warm his heart for the woman he loves to include his sister. The only way I could see not asking her is if she had done something to you and then it would be a different story. But if she hasn't done anything to hurt you and especially if sh'es his only sister I would definitely make her a BM. Good luck

DON'T DO IT. Do not let yourself be manipulated in this way. I did. My future SIL and I had no relationship until just recently, and then she had the gall to call my FH and yell at him for me not asking her to be a bridesmaid. I wanted to keep the peace so I caved. It was a mistake. She's been nothing but a headache ever since. Inviting her own friends to my bachelorette, making demands, not wanting to do anything to help with the planning....The thing is if she feels like she can walk all over you, she will (the old "give her an inch, she'll take a mile" thing). The stress of dealing with someone who you aren't close to during this deeply personal time just takes away from the excitement and joy. It's not worth it.