Future sil hurt feelings

Why doesn't he ask her to be part of his party? Attendants don't have to be chosen by sex. And since she's closer to him than to her, that would only make sense.

If FSIL decides to approach you about it (not he said she said) tell her that you’re sorry, but you chose your close friends. Like PP said, if your FH wants her in the bridal party, she can stand on his side.

I agree with 2b Bride. Another great option is to have a groomswoman and she can be on his side. I asked my fiance's four sisters to be in my wedding party, but I'd known them all for 4 years and had developed friendships with them (some more than others). I obviously couldn't ask some and not others, and we wanted our day to be very inclusive for both our families.

You don’t know anyone an apology for choosing who you are close to. She’s allowed to have her emotions but you are under no obligation to have her. My husband had his sisters as groomswomen so that’s an option as well. Your husband shouldn’t be passing that on from his mom and should be standing up for you in this situation.

I totally get where your coming from. I asked my Fh if he wanted his sister in my bridal party and he said, “why you guys aren’t close”,which we aren’t. However I informed him that I want my brother to be one of his Gm. Him and his sister aren’t super close but she is his only sister and his brother will be in the wedding, so I feel like I should ask her but I haven’t fully decided yet. I’m also taking into consideration that she might really want to be apart of his wedding and might have always imagined being apart of his wedding and this would be her only chance. Another reason is, i know I would be sad if I wasn’t included in my brothers wedding. Also, I get what other posters are saying as far as having his sister in his party but I like the traditional look of girls on one side and guys on the other. I know a lot of people would disagree with me and tell me that’s not how it’s always done now but that’s the look I like.

I don't know why people think family should automatically be in the BP. Being in a BP can cost a lot of money, time and effort. It would be difficult to be in a BP if you had little to no connection with the bride and/or groom. I was in a BP before where a BIL was a groomsman. He didn't want to be there and it was palpable. He probably felt obligated to say yes because of the familial connection.

It's hard for you because she wants to be involved. You have to do what is best for you. Like others have said, offer the idea of a grooms woman. My husband and I did not have our siblings in our BP even though we were asked to be in his sister's wedding. I actually said no because I knew I wouldn't be a good bridesmaid.

Honestly, do whatever you would like since it is YOUR day. However, it needs to be taken into consideration that your wedding day is also your FH's wedding day. My four brothers were immediately part of my FH's party no question's asked since they are family and I am choosing to do the traditional women on my side, men on his. I believe that when it comes to siblings, unfortunately they are always expected to be part of the wedding party.

I would get your FH's take and opinion on this.

Also keep in mind this isnt about being 'fake friends'- this is now your sister in law.

I didn't even pick my own sister for my Bridesmaid so I get tons of comments. Just tell them you already picked and that you chose people you were the most close with.

Welcome to the world of extending your family through marriage! My advice: ignore it. Unless she's a very direct person, I can't imagine that she would approach you about it. If she does, I would just give her a very sweet sorry and move on without an explanation. You don't owe her anything. Also, you will probably face moments like this throughout your whole marriage. Life will be much easier if you just do what you want and not worry about anyone besides you and your husband.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately my fiancé is very “traditional” in his mindset and would never agree to this. But I do agree with this idea that if he wants her standing up so bad he should ask her to stand on his side

View Quoted Comment I always feel cornered by her so I hope I don’t freeze up and stand my ground

View Quoted Comment That’s how I felt about my group of friends that I’ve had since highschool. There’s been 4 of us and I couldn’t possibly choose one and not the other two.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for saying that. I want to bring it up to him to find out more about what’s being said and question him why he’s all of a sudden turning on me when I year ago I explained my thoughts and he accepted it then

View Quoted Comment I wish my fiancé thought like yours in that respect. Mine seems to think siblings automatically should be in bridal party. I never once told him he had to have my brother buy he offered to add him on himself when we upped our bridal party number to 8 because he doesn’t have as many buddies

View Quoted Comment I once said no to being a bridesmaid too.i didn’t consider myself friends with that bride and yet she asked me because they were dying trawl life couples as pairs in their wedding party so to me it felt like a pity invite to join her bridal party because my fiancé was a groomsmen. Like I wrote before, I’m not faking a friendship with anyone even for a day

View Quoted Comment I don’t know about other people but you have to earn my friendship just like I should earn yours. That is true friendship. I asked the girls I’m closest to and want to honor to be a part of my day, Fiancé and I decided each picks their own side. I have no relationship with his sister so I am certainly not going to honor her for no reason.

View Quoted Comment I swear people will always find something to talk about. I happened to pick my sister as MOH because she’s like my right hand life

View Quoted Comment I really appreciate your comment. I just hope I can stand my ground. A lot of times I feel cornered by her and her questions seem more like an interrogation

Some people just assume they will be included because they are family. I wouldn't give in on this. You are absolutely right about the people you want standing up with you on your wedding day.

You aren't even friends with FSIL. Don't trip. If you are asked, just be honest. You and FSIL really aren't close, not even friends really. You have chosen your bridal party based on your closeness with these ladies. You really don't have to explain your decision to anyone.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I think it’s important for y’all to be on the same page about this! I wish you luck and I’m sorry this is happening.