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Beginner October 2020

Future Mother in law

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Kaylene, on April 14, 2020 at 11:23 AM

Alright, I’m having a hard time here. My fiancé is a terrible mamas boy and a only child. On top of that my future mother in law is the spawn of Satan. I can’t bring it up to anyone because they’ll think I hate her. She has been pushing my fiancé to leave me and be done with me, she has encouraged talking bad on me and she never has a positive thing to say about me and when he spends time with her he changes from top to bottom. He goes from sweet and kind and lovely to coarse and bitter and mean. If you have seen everybody loves Raymond or monster in law. That’s her. I want to talk to my fiancé about how she’s treating me and how it hurts but he gets defensive and won’t listen. And now we don’t have marriage counseling since the covid. They’re super close and I liked it at first but now she pushes me out and talks bad on me and he acts like it’s ok. But when I say I’m uncomfortable he acts like I’m terrible. She’s a witch from the west and I’m over it

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Judith · on April 15, 2020 at 11:11 AM
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These are public boards. People with different perspectives, all ages and backgrounds, may post here. Just because you do not like their advice, or their opinion does not please you, does not make it right for you to tell others not to express their opinions, or not to post. No one has attacked you personally. It is against the community forum rules to tell others they should not post here.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on April 15, 2020 at 3:33 PM
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This absolutely. You can call her all the names in the world, but that is just masking your true problem: your relationship with your future spouse. Please consider carefully how he treats you all the time. If he allows his mother to change how he treats you, if he doesn't set boundaries and protect you from mistreatment, then THAT is a red flag. Her behavior alone cannot a red flag, because you aren't marrying her.
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Dedicated January 2022
Kaitlin · on April 15, 2020 at 3:45 PM
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Okay, so I had a similar situation. My future MIL is also a bit of a horror story. On top of her can be wicked personality, she is bipolar, which makes it all worse. When my FH and I met, he was very family oriented and - and I wouldnt say a momas boy, but he wanted to please mom and be perfect for her so that she would appreciate him, because she never has and his sister has always been held on a pedestal. It took a good 2 years of work, but our time spent with her is limited now and he has realized all of the toxic things she says and does and he no longer puts up with it.
But here's the thing, during that 2 years of work, he never acted like it was okay for his mom to be terrible to me. He never blamed her actions on me, which is essentially what your FH is doing by being upset at you for being uncomfortable. Sure, this is somewhat a MIL issue. BUT my FH and I have worked through it and we are GREAT. We don't have issues between us about her anymore. We see her and deal with her, but it doesn't affect our relationship. This is majority a FH issue. If you guys can't get through it and and get on the same page, before the wedding, then it is time to at least postpone until you figure this out. Otherwise, you'll be headed straight for divorice. I mean, you said it yourself, her actions will push you away.
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