Future Mother in Law not liking me ?

Welp, unfortunately these things can happen. When my husband and I broke up for 2 months at the beginning of our relationship I was so hurt. I had vented to my best friend and she hated. When we got back together she held that anger against him. She was supposed to be my maid of honor, but we had a huge fallout and she is no longer my friend and she wasn't in the wedding. This was all because I vented to her when we were broken up. I was hurt and didn't think we would get back together. Not everyone can forgive and forget things that happen and it sounds like your mother-in-law is this way. Not sure what the issues were with you and your fiance, but I never would have confided in my mother-in-law about issues I was having with her son.

I lost my best friend that way too. I was venting to her about issues with my FH and she immediately disliked him and broke off our friendship. I learned that any issues we have are best kept between us and I will not vent to anyone about it. I may mention little things but nothing major. Its ashame this is happening to you, hope u can work through it!

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I dont have a good relationship with my parents and I saw her as a real mother figure. But honestly she just posted on fb about my fiance and future sister in law saying they got home safely I see my fiance tomorrow because hes taking me to get my phone hopefully fixed and basically if I cant fix it i will get a new phone in a couple of weeks I am seriously pretty angry right now because I feel shes disrespecting me and basically I cant tolerate this I feel like he needs to talk to her the sooner the better we been together a long time and I cant stand her doing this to me . I dont know if should mention it to him tomorrow when I see him because its going to on my mind while being with him tomorrow

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Yeah I hope so because she was like a mother figure to me because me and my own mother dont have a good relationship. I am deeply hurt and upset and basically I see my fiance tomorrow and I feel its going to eat at me. He said she needs to get over what happened and basically I feel when I am with him tomorrow I am going to blow my top at him because of the way shes I feel disrespecting me and treating me. I dont want to blow up at him but I am so hurt and angry right now

View Quoted Comment I can understand that. I dont have a good relationship with my FMIL or FFIL, they are rude and standoffish; and I had to put my foot down and have my FH talk to them. Or maybe even try talking with her together.

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Unfortunately she lives 5 hours and basically the only time I would talk to is when my fiance was at his moms house. I feel like I dont say something its going to really eat at me tomorrow I dont want to yell and scream at him which I feel like doing because he says she needs to get over it but I feel like if he doesnt talk to her its going to ruin our future marriage and put a strain on us. I know we are meant to be together because Ive prayed about it I am going to church soon with mentor this morning and all I can feel is anger and rage. I understand we had issues last summer but he needs to talk to her because I will not stand for having my future marriage suffer because of my mother in law.

View Quoted Comment I agree with that 100%.my FH approached his parents yesterday about their behavior n they admitted they dont think he should be getting married, that its easy to get married but hard n expensive to get divorced. I couldn't believe it. I agree, your marriage shouldn't suffer. He should talk to her n clear the air n make things right.

Hi my love this is a tough one. But I see you’ve done your part. YOUR FIANCÉ needs to have a conversation with his mother and the situation surrounding you and he during that summer. She may or may not like you , however respect you and her sons wishes. 2 more additional years seems extreme, you didn’t disclose what the issue was but I do think if it allowed you guys to put two more years on your engagement counseling might be something you all look into. Maybe his mom is thinking that there are more issues or rather unresolved issues that she sees as an outsider. Also we as parents need to realize our children have picked the people they have for reason, and we are to respect that, even if we like them or dislike them. In addition your fiancé shouldn’t be waiting you to have kids to speak you. Also as a mother I can also understand her being upset it must’ve been something really hurtful that you expressed to her for her to be reacting this way also for you to feel that you could go to her with this issue I rate and RESPECT you. You felt you were close enough to her to be able to communicate with her things that are going on. But this is a learning lesson not everything should be discussed with the opposite individuals family member. It’s like what happens in the home stays in the home unless it’s Violent. My suggestion reach out to her again and see if walls can come down and the relationship can be amended. I wish you the best of luck with this and I’m sure everything‘s gonna work out but your fiancé really needs to have a conversation with his mom as well. If he really wants you to be a part of his life ultimately you matter the person you married their family a lot of people they don’t think that way but ideally it is so. Is just a matter of how much are you willing to except. My apologies for this long winded message but I’m on mother and I saw my son treat a young leave he was dating not very nice Lee and I had to pull her aside and say to her would you except someone treating your mother so harshly my son is upset by me saying that to her but ultimately you treat people kindly and with respect your fiancé need to reiterate that with his mom.My apologies for this long winded message but I’m a mother and I saw my son treat a young lady he was dating not very nicely and I had to pull her aside and say to her would you accept someone treating your mother so harshly. my son was upset by me saying that to her but ultimately you treat people kindly and with respect your fiancé needs to reiterate that with his mom.

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Yeah my future stepfather in law likes me still but my future mother law his wife my fiances mom doesnt. Because I am just honestly happy when he gets his new job he wont be going to work trips her area since he will become a mechanic. But I feel bad for saying but I feel like if we move to where his family is at she will try to keep me away from my future husband. She didnt raise him growing up because she wasnt in the picture and I guess shes making up for lost time but I dont know how to approach this tomorrow and tell him without not saying anything and letting it fester. I know I need to say something because I will start to resent him if he doesnt fix this. I might ask my mentor at church today for advice. I just cant keep ignoring how shes treating me and I am getting really upset and starting to feel bitterness and anger.

View Quoted Comment Going to your church mentor is a great idea and should offer you great insight. Its difficult not to feel angry towards people who have hurt us

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Thank you I feel like I am at my wits end. I am deeply hurt and upset and basically I dont know how to approach him tomorrow about it because I have to get my phone looked at because its broken. I am ready to tell him he needs to seriously talk to her because I am getting fed up with the way shes treating me its been 4 months and she doesnt want to talk me or reach first and directly talk to me. I dont know if i can even talk about it with how hurt I am. I guess I need to tell him I honestly feel really hurt and angry. I cant go the rest of my life with her treating me this way.

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Thank you I am just at a lost for what to do. When everything happened last summer she tried to call me and probably going to tell me all sorts of things when I told her everything that happened she pretty much was putting me down and telling me I should not have lived with him and all this other stuff. I understand we had issues but we have resolved those issues and basically I just want to get so angry at her and tell her to her face to stop doing this to me but i know its not the way to go.

View Quoted Comment You're welcome and as hard as it is, I think it'll all work out. It may take a little bit. But if u 2 r meant to be and happy, you'll find a way to resolve it together

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Yeah i know we are meant to be together and happy but I am just really upset and I might talk to him when before we go to my phone carrier tomorrow on the way to the store to have my phone looked at. I feel better i talked about it here but its still hurtful I dont think tomorrow I will blow up at him but I need to tell him he needs to talk to her this week and she either needs to call me and talk to me and I feel like she should apologize to me. Because I will tell him i feel disrespected.

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Hi my love and you shouldn’t have to. Before y’all get married this is an issue that should be resolved because if he’s very close to his mother it will bring up other potential situation and you want to nip that in the bud as soon as possible. But your fiancé ultimately Hass to speak to his mom and let her know and realize he has chosen you and she’s he’s either going to have to except it for the possibility of him not being part of her life because you are his chosen bride we don’t pick them they pick us.Hi my love and you shouldn’t have to. Before y’all get married this is an issue that should be resolved because if he’s very close to his mother it will bring up other potential situation and you want to nip that in the bud as soon as possible. What’s your fiancé ultimately Has to speak to his mom and let her know and realize he has chosen you and she’s either going to have to except it or the possibility of him not being part of her life because you are his chosen bride we don’t pick them up they pick us .

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He wasnt close to her when he first got back in contact with her years ago when we first were dating but now hes talking to her more but I plan to ask my mentor today when I see her for church what I should do because I just need to say something. It will bother all day tomorrow if i dont.

Unfortunately this does happen. Not everyone sees eye-to-eye all of the time. There are relationships where in-laws do not like each other. As long as your foundation with your FH is strong, you should be able to talk to him and he should talk to his mother about your relationship with her. As many of the previous posters have said, I think a big part of this was the fact that you vented to her about her son and your relationship. I learned a long time ago not to vent about my relationship to people, especially family members or close friends. If my FH and I have an issue, we keep it to ourselves. We address it ourselves and move on. I'm not sure what your rough patch was or what exactly it was you said to his mother, and it is none of my business, but it obviously rubbed her the wrong way. Over time things will probably get better. I'd say give her some time and then try an sit down and talk to her. Since your wedding is still two years away, there is time to fix this. You don't want negative energy impacting your relationship through your FMIL. Family is extremely important to me and my FH. I told him a long time ago if his family did not like me, my family did not like him or if our families did not get along it probably wasn't going to work out. We are very fortunate that we get along great with each other's families and our families get along as well. Sit down with your FH and tell him exactly how you feel. Then, try to go and talk to his mother face-to-face or over the phone. Let her know you want to fix things. Being on the outs with your FH's mother that he is close to is not a good place to be. It can start to effect your relationship with him.

I had a past FMIL hate me. I thought she was a psycho after all was said and done. She'd follow us around town if she saw us together, tried to get him to leave me for a druggie, and she honestly made my life hell. Once we broke up, I learned that my ex was not just venting to his mom, but in fact saying some pretty terrible things. He even told his mom he didn't want to break up with me because I was suicidal and he felt bad for me....okay little dude HOLD UP. I was not suicidal and that was not a good move on his part. Anyway, in the heat of the moment, your finance may have said some things to where the mom ultimately will side with their child. I think your fiance needs to clear the air here and help work this relationship out. It will be an important one that will be around for awhile!

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Yeah i totally agree with you I will probably talk to him about it I just feel pretty sad that this happened but I plan tomorrow to have a good day with him after I get out of my class tomorrow on my first day to class because he has monday off. But I totally agree with you. I went to church today and just got home and talked to my adoptive grandmother who helped become a christian and she thinks I should let go and not cause more issues between my fiance and his mom and me.

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I will probably talk to him about it tomorrow. I am having phone issues right now and basically I need to have him help me get my phone looked at. I am hoping to get a new phone by next monday so I can be able to get a new device. This has been a bad week. But I am just ready for my phone issues to be done and over with.